This starts off as a series of emails between an unknowing Spike and Xander as they both try to come to terms with the many deaths of their loved ones that took place during Season Five; Joyce, Buffy, and Anya who died in the fight with Glory. The story moves on from there as Xander discovers Willow’s idea of bringing Buffy back from the dead and turns to Spike for help.

Ever wish you knew how different your life could have been?

Newly ensouled and tortured Spike is in Xander's care. He tries to convince Xander they are soul mates. Past life times in various eras are shown through episodic flashbacks. Spike/Xander Slash.