Harry and Draco are straight Aurors. Then they're gay teachers. It makes sense in context.

In which Derek has been invited to the Greater Pacific Northwest Alpha Symposium (that's not what it's called, Stiles, stop saying that), and showing up unattached would mean an arranged marriage. When the rest of the pack objects, he agrees to let Stiles come along to pose as his mate. Derek is reasonably sure that he's not going to make it out of this weekend alive.

Five times Stiles and Derek pretend to be boyfriends, and the one time they didn't have to pretend at all. (Or: in which Stiles' plan for senior year is completely ruined by a supernatural creature stalking him.)

Drunktuesdays: Anyone can feel free to write me a story where everyone has to go to the Pacific Northwest Werewolf Symposium and Derek explains it would be BAD FORM for an Alpha to turn up without a mate, especially the ONLY TRUE ALPHA IN A HUNDRED YEARS, and its not like Scott can bring KIRA because duhhhh foxes and wolves don’t get along. Stiles sucks in a breath because he loves this shit, he’s gonna get his FAKE BOYFRIEND on when Derek says, quiet, “I can—you know, stand in.”

Dorian's parents come to Skyhold to take him away based on a deal Dorian and his father made a long time ago that if Dorian was not in a relationship by a certain age, Halward could marry him to Livia Herathinos. No questions asked. Cullen only sees one way to ensure his chess partner stays in Skyhold. They only need to fake being in a relationship long enough to get Dorian's parents out of Skyhold anyway. How hard could it be to complete the Tevinter courtship rituals?

AVN BREAKING NEWS-- DIAMOND VISTA RIDGE BREAKS HIS CONTRACT WITH HALE HOUSE "We haven't seen much of our favorite rock hard stud from Hale House ever since that indie twink dethroned him as champion in Orgasm Wars, but it's just been confirmed that Diamond will no longer be working for the legendary studio famous for producing some of our favorite werewolf-on-human works. Don't fret, Diamond fans, it looks like he's been spotted cozying up to True Alpha Studios! Apparently he couldn't get enough of that one human and then followed him home. Could it be true love? Keep your eye on this studio-- us at AVN think we're about to get a lot more of Diamond in a very new way!" ~ The one in which (almost) everyone is a porn star, and Derek just wants to curl up with his fluffy blanket and watch the Hallmark channel, but work and falling in love gets in the way.

"'Spock,' Jim breathes out, completely overwhelmed by the gesture—not quite believing that Spock knows him so well, that's he's already started researching, that he trusts Jim with a member of his own endangered species." When Jim gets it in his head to adopt an eight year old Vulcan, Spock presents a logical solution to the issue of Jim's humanity: marriage to a Vulcan citizen.

Jupiter Jones needs a green card. Caine Wise needs a place to live. What's a little marriage of convenience, between strangers? AU based on the movie Green Card.

Derek thinks that the mating rituals are overly romanticized bullshit, but claiming a mate and defending them from challengers is something werewolves do, and his pack can't afford to appear weak after the fire. Especially not when Deucalion and his friends are in town for the rituals. Enter Stiles Stilinski, who offers to let Derek claim him so he won't be overrun at the ceremonies. Nothing goes as expected.

Katsuki sits cross-legged, clearly in no hurry to go anywhere. “What’s your name? I’m –” “I know who you are,” he cuts him off, then blushes, then hates himself for both those things. Katsuki looks surprised, and Yuri can’t think as to why. He’s a nationally ranked figure skater. He’s Yuri’s favorite figure skater. ~ Yuuri and Yuri become friends and Viktor develops a crush.

Kenny's mom assuming that Diego and Klaus were A) a couple and B) Number 5's parents was both bemusing and amusing at the time. But that was because it was the only time it had ever happened. Now though? Now they just can't understand why these misunderstandings keep happening.

Short fic about newly-crowned King Alistair coming to terms with being married to Anora, and vice versa.

"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. “Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian.

Once upon a time in Yiling, a rumor started about the Yiling Patriarch having started to collect a harem of beautiful young men from a variety of sects. (it was Nie Huaisang's fault) (to be fair, the porn didn't help)

Possibly some of these will become longer, but not yet. Currently featuring (among others): - child!Jin Ling gets himself kidnapped by a well-meaning Wen Ning - truth serum trope - Nie Huaisang steals the Ghost General - Nie sect adopts the Yiling Patriarch - a variety of arranged marriages - crossover (Leverage, Naruto, Legends of Tomorrow) - dragons dragons everywhere - unintentional black widow WWX - Jiang Cheng is thrown into the burial mounds - NHS wields a fan as a weapon - JC interferes with the events on the Qiongqi Path - Lan Sizhui is Wen Ruohan's son and meets him unknowingly - WWX is named chief cultivator - Jiang Yanli's spirit responds to Lan Wangji's constant playing of Inquiry - WWX & LWJ locked away behind the Wall - LWJ stays in the burial mounds but it affects him - JC does impossible things

Zuko doesn’t have time to deal with pressure for an arranged marriage, especially since he isn’t even sure he likes women that way. (A realisation that has absolutely nothing to do with Ambassador Sokka - shut up, Suki.) Katara and Aang have broken up again, and the Northern Water Tribe are pushing for a match between the North and South. Which leads Zuko and Katara to develop a genius, foolproof, only slightly drunken plan: they can pretend to date for the length of Katara’s stay in the palace, giving them both a brief reprieve from political pressures on their love lives. What could go wrong?

In which alternate universe Boston had 4th pick and Washington had 5th pick in the 2006 draft, and in which alternate universe the NHL is kind enough make accommodations for players’ personal circumstances. For instance, to allow Washington to pick Alex Ovechkin’s absolutely true, definitely not fake, 100% not-made-up fiancé to come play for the Caps. “You what,” Alex says. “Alex Ovechkin’s who?” —and its aftermath, through the years.

A writer from Alex's past outs him in an essay. What's a guy to do but marry his former best friend?

"You know how every summer you joke about how I should collar you, for the league rule?" "Yeah?" Sid shoots a sideways look at Nate, but Nate is just sipping his beer, not looking back. "What if I took you up on that?"

A lifetime of hunting demons never prepared Jon for suddenly finding himself the fake ex-boyfriend of a man with incredibly conniving adult children. Jaster, for his part, got in over his head about the time he lied to Arla and Jango about where his hickey came from. The demon hunters are just a little extra depth, at this point.

When Fox and his men capture a Jedi, the first caught in the Empire in decades, it's the final piece Fox needs to set his plans into motion. Assassinating the Emperor isn't going to be an easy task, though, and to get the training he needs to manage it, he'll have to keep Jon close and avoid the Emperor's suspicion, because anything else is a certain death sentence. The solution, of course, is only the start of even more problems.

“We need you to Claim Tim.” Jason’s shirt falls to the floor as he turns around to stare at the acrobat, “What the fuck.” “Yeah.” Dick runs a hand through his hair with a manic giggle. “That’s fair.”

Ryuji asks Akira for dating advice. Practice makes perfect.

After being photographed together, Neil and Andrew decide to roll with the rumors that they're dating.

Ever since he’d come out to his devout Roman Catholic family, Johnny had been told he was going to Hell. Seeing Simon “Ghost” Riley on his knees in front of him, looking like Lust incarnate, has him thinking Hell suits him far better than Heaven anyway. His blonde hair catches the fluorescents like a halo, and Johnny now knows exactly what the legends meant when they said the devil has angelic eyes. OR: Johnny needs proof that the aphrodisiac drug sample they're retrieving is real, so he tests it the only way he can with the resources he has: on himself. It's real, alright - he figures that out pretty quick.

“So what were you thinking? Fake financial distress? Fake injury?” “Fake boyfriend,” Jason said.

Tim gives him an incredulous look. "Is this really the way you guys do things? I'm sorry, but do you really think it's okay to marry someone you barely know and create an entire person—a baby, one that's going to need someone to look after it for 18 years or longer—just for money?!" "That's not…" Jason makes a frustrated sound. "Look, you're 19, right? We can talk about the intentional baby acquisition when you're legally old enough to drink. By then we'll know if our marriage can sustain a child. But I think it's worth a try." - After civilian Tim Drake gets trapped in the Bat Cave following multiverse shenanigans, he enters an arrangement with the crime lord Red Hood in an effort to gain access to a trust fund with some very particular requirements.

“I didn’t realize,” Dick’s voice startles Jason, but he doesn’t loosen his grip on Tim. When he looks up, Dick is staring at them with wide eyes. “That you two were...uh.” It hits Jason then, what the position they’re in might look like from Dick’s point of view. His restraining hold on Tim, and Tim’s now submissive posture, curled up against his chest, probably look to an outsider like a comforting embrace between two people who are much more acquainted than they actually are. His face flushes, but he doesn’t bother to correct Dick’s misunderstanding.

Danny’s looking at him like he’s crazy. His hair’s dried up into a mess of waves, and there’s some tomato seeds on the corner of his mouth. “You just bailed me out of jail. And you think this is a good idea?” “I don’t have bad ideas, Fenton. And like you’ve just said, I have collateral on you.” “So you’re blackmailing me into pretending to date you?” Tim shrugs. “Or you could just sign the NDA.” OR Danny's trying to recover all the shards to an entity's chalice so that it'll stop destroying the zone while tensions rise amongst his subjects- and trying to finish high school. Tim's juggling his case load, his work as CEO, and does not have time to be embroiled in a sex scandal right now. If that means he has to pretend to date a very suspicious heir to a rival company, then so be it. It's a mutually beneficial relationship. So what if Tim's becoming a little too intrigued by the illusive, powerful Phantom? So what if Danny can't stand the Justice League for leaving him to deal with all of Amity's problems when he was just 14? That's a superhero thing. And their fake boyfriend has no clue that they're a superhero.