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The Untamed on CRACK!
from wangxian as iconic vines to xiyao's no-homo bro stuff that made nie mingjue qi deviate. you also get ur sassy mf jin ling, h o r n y af xue yang, me screaming jiang cheng is my daddy, lan zhan and wei ying repeatedly declaring how gay they are. :(
陈情令 | The Untamed Crack
The Untamed- more Crack! (part 10)
Part 10. All other parts equally good!
The Untamed, Some Crack (the First)
It's been years since I've uploaded a vid. I blame my friend who got me into this fandom -_-' . I have other ideas so I'm gonna call this one the first. All the songs and dialogue can be found in the credits.
Out of the Bin and Into Your Heart
"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. “Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian.
Bind Me, Heal Me, Break Me
Lan Zhan looked too old, sometimes, staring into the blinding sun of dawn. He looked like he had gone somewhere Wei Wuxian couldn’t follow, beyond the scope of the horizon. Resentful energy swirled black and terrible at that thought, and Wei Wuxian laughed it to shattering pieces. Lan Zhan had stayed, but that didn’t mean he would forever.
Restrained
”I’d like to tie you up.” A laugh bubbled out of Wei Wuxian at the unexpected words, and he turned further in his spot to lean over the table and so get closer to his husband. Ink and paper were quickly forgotten on the floor. ”Like with your ribbon? I liked that,” he said, grinning up at Lan Wangji, who was sitting perfectly straight as always. ”No. Properly.”
And they were roommates...
A fic based lightly on a reddit post— "I (21f) have a crush on my roommate (20f). I can't figure out if she actually likes me back or not or is just being friendly. She cooks for me and knows all my favorite foods, and brings me lunch. She buys me anything I want, and her family all joke about our wedding. I once fell asleep on her lap and when I woke up she was stroking my hair and I almost had a stroke. I can't figure out if she's flirting with me or not. Help!"
The Simplest Way Forward
It’s a really unfortunate thing, developing a crush on your husband. Wei Ying had assumed this would be easy. Lan Zhan had been so icy and unpleasant to him, it had never occurred to him that he might end up spending the next however many years with this dumb, burning feeling in his chest whenever he looks at him. “Okay,” says Wei Ying. “But tell me if I…if the pretending gets to be too hard, okay?” “It will not,” says Lan Zhan, quietly certain.
please forgive my most passionate disruptions
"请原谅我多情的打扰" Lan Wangji is, for some contrived reason, dragged to a strip club and forced to confront his own repression. Wei Wuxian is, due to Lan Wangji's inexplicably terrible luck, also in his class.
To Recklessly Confess
Lan Wangji has a fantasy. Wei Wuxian gets several clues.
The Murder of Crows
"By the Heavens, did you hear? The Yiling Patriarch has been invited to the Discussion Conference in Qinghe!" Gossip was, by far, the fastest way for information to spread. "What! Whose idea was that!?" It was not the most accurate or most reliable method, but people were people, and the tedium of daily life would always bore them. "I heard it was the Nie Sect leader's suggestion." ---------- After thirteen years in the Burial Mounds, the Yiling Patriarch finally makes a public reappearance. Civilians are scared. Cultivators are outraged. Sect Leaders are concerned. Wei Wuxian has been too quiet, they say, and nobody knows what dark horrors the Burial Mounds may now contain. Wei Wuxian wouldn't quite call them dark horrors, but the description wasn't too far off. (tl;dr Wei Wuxian lives, raises a whole gaggle of demonic cultivator children, and the cultivation world panics.)
Fledgling
“Please...” Sexual frustration and desperation fill the room, but instead of giving him what he desires, Lan Wangji takes the oil and coats his own hand, staring at it with determination. “I want to know how it feels” Wei Wuxian chokes.
Changing Energies
Everyone thinks that the elegant imposing Lan Wangji must be an alpha. Wei Wuxian however will learn the truth once the baby fever hits both of them.
they drowned me in ice
Lan Wangji is alot of things. He is intelligent, well-mannered, loyal and unfortunately an omega.
Adult Learning
‘Don’t indulge in pleasure,’ was perfectly comprehensible - at fourteen Lan Wangji already knew that that meant no second helping of stew, even if you were still hungry, and definitely no more little cakes, your mother should never have made those for you to try in the first place. - Or Five Times Lan Wangji learnt something about sex
Pry It Open
When Wei Ying comes up with a new request, Lan Wangji learns something new about himself: he actually really likes bottoming.
Here Again (Spirits Rise, Unbroken)
or, Catharsis: The Fic In which Wei Wuxian, shortly after being called into Mo Xuanyu’s body, is further forced into the past, where he proceeds to tumble his way into absolutely nailing a time travel fix-it.
Cloud Nine
Wei Wuxian can’t sleep. Luckily, Hanguang-jun’s ASMR videos help. A modern AU in which they are all video bloggers and Wei Wuxian cries a lot.
seldom all they seem
or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage *** He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes. That impression does not last.
and so my heart beats wildly
“You know, you’re the one to beat this year,” Jiang Cheng offers helpfully, having seen the glare from right next to him. “Hanguang-jun’s been through juniors with the rest of us, he knows all of our tics. You’re an unknown variable, since he’s never competed against you before.” “Thanks,” says Wei Wuxian drily. “That’s very comforting.” Or: five nighthunting competitions where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were rivals, and one where they weren't.
and so my heart beats wildly: rivals - caiyi 1
xiii. no stranger to love “Houston, we have a problem,” says Phichit Chulanont as he looks up from his phone.
And Time Is But a Paper Moon
"Zewu-Jun. You once told me about a house surrounded by gentians, where you visited once a month, and how Lan Zhan still waited there, even when the door no longer opened." Xichen feels light-headed. He feels shocked, and angry. He has never told anyone such a thing, but Lan Zhan is giving Xichen a look of utter betrayal. "You told him?" Lan Zhan whispers. "When?" Wei Wuxian takes Lan Zhan's hand. "About twenty years from now." Wei Wuxian starts again from the beginning.
all the words i mean to say (they'll never come out the right way)
“We have to get up?” Wei Wuxian prompts him. Lan Wangji nods. “Jiang Wanyin said the Wen Clan will be brought in to the conference.” In his arms, Wei Wuxian stiffens. He shakes himself out of Lan Wangji’s hold, sitting upright and brushing his hair back from his face. Incongruous with his love-kissed body and the golden light shining over his skin, his eyes sharpen. A glint, dark as obsidian, replaces the dreamy clouds of a moment before. Lan Wangji mourns the simple happiness, even as he leans in to look at those eyes. “We should go,” Wei Wuxian says. His voice is soft rain, the promise of an oncoming storm. Hanguang-Jun shocks the Four Great Clans by standing beside the Yiling Patriarch and performing a ritual to prove that Wei Wuxian remains on the righteous path. If only every problem could be solved by so simple an act.
Content Warning: Romance
Wei Wuxian just wants a little warning before Lan Wangji says nice things. Lan Wangji just wants to love on his husband, thanks.
Echoes
In which Jiang Yanli plots for her brothers’ happiness Or: the YunMeng siblings learn about self worth
Bodega Love
Wei Wuxian meets his soulmate when they reach for the same bunch of daffodils at the local bodega. Too bad he immediately puts his foot in his mouth. How can he repair the damage and convince this beautiful man to date him? Let the group text conversation begin! (for the 50 Meetcutes meme - You reach for the same bouquet in a flower shop)
all right guys, let’s have a conversation about linguistic register, Lan Wangji, and I guess Wei Wuxian can come too
So when I started interacting with the fandom and reading people’s fics, I got really confused by the way some folks were writing dialogue for Lan Wangji; he often sounded super awkward, spoke in fragments, and sometimes exclusively in third person. To be fair, all of those are elements of his speech at various times, but like, seeing it in English-language material felt like a really heavy-handed way of rendering it in translation?
Unstrictly Ballroom
Thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian brought scandal and shame down upon his head and was thrown out of the competitive ballroom dance circuit. He vanished, never to be heard from again. Lan Wangji aches when he remembers the way Wei Ying danced--like a laugh given movement and form. He has never stopped searching for him.
The Black Parade: An Untamed Vid Album
our hearts are ready for war
Despite being one of the strongest omegas alive, Nie Huaisang has never desired recognition. He would have been happy to spend his life pretending to be a nobody so he could stay at his brother’s side in Qinghe. But when Wen Ruohan attempts to take control of the other sects during the Wen Discussion Conference, Nie Huaisang must do what he can to mitigate what he fears may soon become outright war. Even if it means publically claiming his former classmate Jiang Cheng.
The Hanging Tree
Wei Wuxian moved with joy in his steps and the sun in his eyes, every gesture, every expression, absolutely fearless. As Lan Wangji watched him tip back, hair blowing in the breeze of the arena, he just couldn’t understand it. Compared to that, Lan Wangji was . . . He was . . . He was . . .
No More Masks
An AU in which, after the Sunshot Campaign is over, Jin Guangshan does not legitimize Meng Yao and he goes to live at Cloud Recesses with Lan Xichen.
hope dangling by a string
Lan Wangji had never had call to perform the spell of silent communication before he and Wei Wuxian joined together to fight Xuanwu. He figured it was temporary. Spoiler alert: it wasn't. Or: the AU in which Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian psychically bond in the cave, Wei Wuxian overhears Lan Wangji thinking about the fact that he actually likes him, and after several minutes of confusion, is fully on board with this.
and if we choose to fall (who's to say it isn't flight?)
Wei Wuxian has an idea and makes a talisman. A sexy talisman.
our reflections as seen (when the water stills)
Lan Wangji was dreadfully concerned when he learnt his best friend's brother was a ghoul. Jiang Cheng really wished his brother's new stalker wasn't a dove. Wei Wuxian was just happy his friends and family seemed to care so much about him. No wonder it took them all so long to figure out what Qishan Wen were up too.
Tall Once More In The Spring Wind
Essentially: LWJ's mom and WWX's mom ON THE RUN with THEIR KIDS. (...and also MY's mom. And any other goddamn moms who need help. Get in the fucking car, ladies, we're saving everybody) Because here's the thing: LWJ's mother was a cultivator who killed her future-husband's teacher. And I think we all have a pretty damn good idea what might have gone down to provoke that, and why the Lan menfolk never actually explain what precipitated this act of extreme violence, and thus we can probably take a stab at why a perhaps-newly-pregnant lady* might end up agreeing to a marriage of convenience with some guy she really wasn't into, who was determined to keep her locked up in a pleasant little prison in Gusu. And I'd like to say "aww, bless him, he saved his unrequited crush all selflessly like, even though they didn't then live together as husband and wife"....but he subsequently knocked her up with a second child. :/ The ladies in MDZS tend to have a pretty shitty time, so this fic is pulling a goddamn Fury Road and scooping them up and taking them off to form their own Ye Olde Themyscira-ish Rogue Sect of ladies looking out for other ladies. (*obvs this is my headcanon.)
You & Me Baby, We'll Eclipse The Sun
A series of one-shots and multi-chapter works, for a WangXian & XiCheng universe where morals are absent, and our boys are (literally) crazy in love. This AU is a Mafia/Gang universe set in Shanghai - a little fucked up (this is an understatement) and shows a lot of morally degenerate, obsessive behaviour between our four main men. Expect a lot blood, murder, possessive relationships that border on unhealthy, a stupid amount of life-threatening situations, along with gore and lovemaking.
Coming Back to Yourself
Lan Wangji gets cursed with a ~woman's body~ and has to orgasm to go back. Since he's 1) a virgin 2) super repressed and 3) SUPER gay, he has no idea what to do. If only he had a super nosy friend who's read lots of erotic novels who could help him figure out what to do... hm...
Shards and Shells
"Where is the Pern AU in which WWX's sleek black dragon, outcast among his kind for his colour and intelligence, ends up the one to entwine LWJ's great golden queen in a mating flight so intense it's sung about Weyrwide for generations to come (never where small children can hear)?" ...and apparently teenage McCaffrey-fan me felt like this was an excellent idea, and worth interrupting the other WIPs I'm currently working on to have a quick scribble at. So, uh - yeah. Pern AU, basically, because dragons yay?
Stainless
"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion." Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples. "They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean." At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.
The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts
Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?” “Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.” “There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly. In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.
Demonic Cultivator's Blessing, or: Curse of the Bunny Gods
Her prompt was to write something about WWX and LWJ ascending to become deities; I took the liberty of slightly crossing over MDZS with Heaven Official's Blessing for the worldbuilding, and set myself the goal of bringing a smile to the faces of Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen. So: a story in which the newly-ascended bunny gods set out to give Jiang Cheng's love life a boost, and find a way of cheering up Lan Xichen along the way.
Even More Kinds of Love
Wei Ying has Lan Zhan, and he has A-Yuan, and with his usual generosity, he thinks of a way to give Jiang Li and Jin Zixuan (who have been trying in vain for children for five years) a child of their own. As long as Lan Zhan is okay with it, of course. (Lan Zhan is not okay with it, but he says yes. Lan Zhan just can't say no to Wei Ying, not even when it leads to holding his heat-drunk husband while another man takes him.)
Sex, Science, and True Love: A Rigid Analysis of the Practical Applications of Dual Cultivation
“I once heard a rumour that this is how Lan An and his cultivation partner did it,” Ma Qiao piped up. “Which, I mean, if anyone could…” “The Lans are far too boring and repressed for something like this,” Wei Wuxian said, with the authority of one who had been resoundingly ignored by a Lan for the past month. “Can you imagine Lan Wangji dual cultivating?” Everyone knows that dual cultivation is a myth that only works in porn. Wei Wuxian discovers differently.
The Worst Man for the Job
Lan Qiren pens the announcement for the rest of the cultivation world.
the yunmeng accords
“Just do what you can, Senior Wei!” Sizhui whispers. “We’ll be right here!” “Yeah!” Jingyi says. “And just remember: it’s going to be a disaster either way, so it’s not like there’s much you can do about it!” (Or: Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng plan a discussion conference together. It goes about as well as Wei Wuxian expects.)
weightless
The first time Lan Huan sees him, he thinks it’s a trick of the light. The sea glimmers like translucent pearls off of the man’s pectorals, polishes his long wavy hair like jet. But the most fascinating part of him must be the thousands of tiny glittering scales lining his lower abdomen, down, down, down to a pair of translucent olive fins that shimmer like gold in the summer light. Lan Huan breathes in, but the salt spray somehow tangles in his lungs. (Mermaid AU)
r/relationships
Lan Zhan has been in love with his best friend for nearly a decade and despite his attempts, has never managed to confess. Now that Wei Ying's lease is almost up, there's a chance he'll be moving in with him soon, and Lan Zhan isn't sure that's something he'll survive... The impending stress leads to a drink, which in turn leads to a desperate Reddit post that goes viral and attracts attention and advice from... well, none other than Wei Ying, resulting in a series of failed attempts at getting Wei Ying to realize just how Lan Zhan feels about him.
Yeah I Know How You Like It
Lan Wangji leaned forward to lick the sweat off of Wei Wuxian’s neck. “I am fucking you,” he said as Wei Wuxian started to whine. He took his hand away, blinking his way back into the jingshi. Lan Wangji was laying there as unruffled as ever. “You really like the begging, huh?” Wei Wuxian said weakly. Lan Wangji’s smile was so warm, his eyes so soft. He said, “Wei Ying’s voice is pleasing to me.” --- Wei Wuxian can read Lan Wangji's mind. He's surprised by what he finds there.
