“I propose that we kill two birds with one stone,” Liu Mingyan said, and if her tone goes a bit theatrical, Jiang Cheng had the decency not to point it out. “I don’t follow,” Jiang Cheng deadpanned, crossing his arms. “I thought the plan was to milk this whole thing for what it’s worth and gracefully part ways when it inevitably fell apart.” “Yes, well. There’s a perfectly viable solution to the whole ‘falling apart’ part - you,” she said, pointing to Jiang Cheng, “Marry my brother.” -- Jiang Cheng gets married in the spring of his 39th year. It turns out better than he expected.

It's been months since Jiang Cheng has last seen his lovers. To make up for it, he comes to Qinghe bearing a gift.

Mu Qingfang closes his eyes and counts backward from ten. And then he takes a deep breath, before putting on his most professional smile, the one reserved primarily for people on their deathbeds and recalcitrant Shixiongs with the habit of getting gored by beasts ten times his size. “Liu-shixiong,” Mu Qingfang says, as calmly as he can. “You’ve recently ingested a poison called Blinders for Wandering Eyes.” “My eyesight is fine,” Liu Qingge says, muffled through the blanket. “It’s everything else that’s - not fine.” Mu Qingfang can already feel his blood pressure rising. “The poison does not cause blindness, Shixiong. It was named thus because it was often used on philanderers and unfaithful partners. If certain conditions aren’t met within a specific timeframe, then the poison will begin to break down their organs, starting with their meridians." There’s a long pause, before Liu Qingge says, “I don’t care. Fix it.” -- In which Liu Qingge is poisoned and there's only one way to fix it

Shen Qingqiu attempts to allay Liu Qingge's suspicions.

The thought had been niggling at the back of his mind quite a bit lately. He wasn’t showing Shang Qinghua proper obeisance, was he? They’d grown so comfortable in their roles - Mobei-Jun as Shang Qinghua’s king, and Shang Qinghua as his dutiful servant - that they hadn’t thought to… stop. It was how it had always been. But things were different, now, weren’t they? They’d been different for a long time now. To ignore that wasn’t proper. That stops now, Mobei-Jun decides. His ancestors would be rolling in their graves to see him ignore the proper rites of courtship - the fact that he and Shang Qinghua were already mated besides. He was not raised to be some kind of country rube, as much as being sequestered so far up north might imply otherwise. Shang Qinghua was his partner, and, with all factors properly calculated, the more powerful of the two. It was only proper that Mobei-Jun display an appropriate level of submission to his better. -- Mobei-Jun realizes with increasing clarity that he wants to serve Shang Qinghua. Shang Qinghua does NOT pick up on it.

“Shizun said I made you feel so good,” Luo Binghe says, “that I could fuck you any time I wanted.” Liu Qingge stops breathing for a second. “What,” he blurts out. Shen Qingqiu could tell he’d been into it?!

It was impossible for anyone to remember every little quirk of this setting. There were too many. Also, Shang Qinghua had come up with some of them on a whim while fueled by nothing but caffeine and noodles. It wasn't his fault for not remembering why oranges were never served on fruit festival day.

Defective suppressants and an unwanted heat—it’s Shen Yuan’s worst nightmare. The only solution? Hire a companion-alpha to help him through a tiring week of insatiable need. Sweet, anxious, and all too eager to please, Luo Binghe is not at all what he expects.

Shen Yuan was born to be Reviewer 2. Decades after his marriage, Empress Shen Qingqiu is living his best life at the entire demonic civil service's expense.

Was there such a thing as an A/B/O novel that didn't end on an omega being mated by their one true love, their fated partner? That fucking Airplane towards the sky! Couldn't even get the genre he was writing in correct! Yet that was the mystery that had kept Shen Yuan reading! When would Liu Mingyan and the protagonist bone down? Even after they'd had their first five children and the harem had hit the triple digits, Shen Yuan had kept reading lured on by Airplane's glimmers of plot, backstory and writing ability slightly above that of a concussed toddler. ------------------------- “Of course I couldn’t make Mobei Jun an alpha,” said Shang Qinghua, having the fucking nerve to look pityingly on his best reviewer. “Bro, would three hundred million words have been enough to protect their chrysanthemums from each other in the fanfic forums? I just never mentioned it so it never came up so I never had to decide it. Problem solved.”

"It was a plot point, dude," says Cucumber-bro, in the slow, patient voice of someone speaking to a stupid dog. "It was an actual, literal plot point you typed in with your own like, sinful hands." "No it wasn't," says Shang Qinghua immediately. "I think I would like, fucking remember writing a scene where some chick gets an actual fucking dragon corpse dropped on her door and immediately gives it up for the person who brought it!"

“Spit it out,” said Mobei Jun impatiently. “It’s just—the only, um, method of reversing this curse that I know of would be very unpleasant for you! Extremely unpleasant! You’d probably want to avoid it at all costs! So I think the best course of action would be for me to do a little more additional research to see if I can find another way that would be less, um, personally distasteful for you, my King. That is, of course, assuming that being trapped in this lowly servant’s body isn’t already too distasteful to bear?” “Tell me what your ‘method’ entails and I will make a decision,” said Mobei Jun. aka, Mobei Jun touches an object that curses he and Shang Qinghua to swap bodies.

Scenes in the life of Shen Qingqiu, the multiverse's most reluctant female lead

"I had a question for the Peak Lord," says Luo Binghe, voice sweet, eyes cold. "A dialect question." If Shang Qinghua was sweating before, he's dripping fucking rivers now. He and Cucumber-bro communicate in a horrible mix of memes, internet slang, Chinglish and modern Chinese, mostly but not entirely incomprehensible for any outsider. Luo Binghe had decided it must be some hometown dialect that they shared, despite any evidence of Shen Qingqui and Shang Qinghua ever speaking to each other before they both had the shitty luck to be transmigrated, and devoted himself to learning his beloved Shizun's birth dialect. Fuck! Why was Shang Qinghua dumb enough to have made it a plot point that Luo Binghe had a god level ability to pick up languages! .... right, so he could pick up some girl's dialect and seduce her more easily, but it wasn't fair that this monogamous version of his son could still do it, okay!!

Proud Immortal Demon Way's fanfic selection is vast, terrible, and filled with things much worse written than the original work itself, and that's saying something. Shen Yuan was just enough of a masochist to willingly, after another stupid update where Luo Binghe has to papapa another sister for some ludicrous reason that doesn't even make any sense, decide to delve into that lurid cesspool of creative death and unbeta'd pornography far more explicit than anything Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky had ever written. Which is how he finds himself in a fanfic called Proud Immortal Demon's Milky Way.

Shang Qinghua got hit with a sex pollen, and he knows his king won't save him. Cucumber-bro doesn't take pity on him; he calls Mobei-Jun, assured that Mobei-Jun won't let Shang Qinghua die.

Shang Qinghua had not always been the most original author out there. If there was a bandwagon to jump on that could please his readers and put more money into his account so he could eat a bit less in the way of cheap instant noodles and a bit more in the way of slightly less cheap instant noodles, he was first in line to jump on it. There was a particular trend that had just started to become popular when he started his novel, and he was all too happy to run with it, adding his own twists to it as was necessary or convenient. If he had known that it would lead to this particular situation—! Well, okay, he probably would have written it in, as a future death held down by a shirtless Mobei Jun sounded infinitely more appealing than starving to death in his dismal little apartment. But at least he would have known what he was signing up for!

Mobei-Jun’s search for Shang Qinghua had taken him to many strange places. He had quickly exhausted all more familiar locations. He had come to this last strange place not because Shang Qinghua was a strange man who knew many strange things (though he was), but because… because… it was becoming evident that if he did not seek out strange methods, he would never find Shang Qinghua if he did not wish to be found. It was becoming evident that Shang Qinghua did not wish to be found. In which Mobei-Jun becomes an accidental time-traveler and gets a second shot at his life with Shang Qinghua.

Shang Qinghua goes to take a self-indulgent peek at his baby protagonist son and gets a kick to the shrivelled heart for his troubles. He gave up on changing the story years ago! Yet he finds himself helping his protagonist son's adoptive mother anyway. Just this one change won't matter too much, right? One little change leads to more. Shang Qinghua never meant to care, but he becomes invested in making sure that his new family survives the looming plot. With the changes to the world cascading around him, with his position as a traitor pulling him between his sect and a certain ice demon, and with the protagonist growing up so quickly, how is one displaced author meant to ensure that everything turns out all right? A Pre-Canon to Canon Divergence story.

Shang Qinghua had never had a good idea - not a single good idea, not ever. In fact, this was possibly his worst idea ever. In fact, he was pretty sure he was going to die. In fact, he was - ... wait, why wasn't Binghe upset? Why was Binghe willing to do this? What sort of novel had this become!? Why was the only dying he was doing now while Mobei-jun and Luo Binghe were clearly having a good time without him?!

A Pre-Canon Canon Divergence fic. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky didn’t remember anything about Mobei-Jun having a child! He remembered Mobei-Jun having siblings, sure, but he was pretty sure that he’d alluded to Mobei-Jun’s terrible uncle doing… away with most of them. Did that mean that this demon child was supposed to… die for the plot? In which, when Airplane meets Mobei-Jun and saves the demon's life, he also meets and saves Mobei-Jun's baby brother. Hiding and helping two spoiled young demon masters is twice the trouble.

“He will know we are faking.” Mobei-jun says. “We’re sharing a room, how will he know?” “He has the room on the other side of the wall. We will have to share the bed.”

Sure, getting fucked by tentacles was a rare, once in two lifetimes kind of experience. But honestly, once you went demon dick there's no going back. OR Shang Qinghua (and Shen Qingqiu) gets tentacle-fucked but Shang Qinghua is still helplessly horny for a certain ice demon.

What sort of servitude ceremony was this? — In which Shang Qinghua didn't leave.

“Sometimes when Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu make love-” Shang Qinghua thinks of the right way to phrase it, drawing on his extensive experience- “Shen Qingqiu’s heavenly pillar descends to Luo Binghe’s ravine, if you understand me,” he says, moving his eyebrows in a way that is meant to convey deep meaning. Mobei-Jun does not make an expression of understanding, but he’s watching Shang Qinghua very, very closely. “Shang Qinghua,” he says. “You want to be inside me?”

It was a beautiful field, constantly blooming with purple flowers. No weather in the human realm could stop them, and only the gods' mercy can save any human affected by them. Well, that and a demon's 'mercy' would work too. OR Sex Pollen Field Affects Local Peak Lord, Half-Demon Protagonist Lends A Helping Pillar!! Done for LQG Fuck or Die Fest (2019)!

“Well,” Luo Binghe says, looking at Liu Qingge with a complicated expression on his face. Liu Qingge glares, spitting the blood out of his mouth, and goes to suck at on the wound on his arm again, trying to draw out as much of the poison as possible. “I could cure it, but you’re not going to like it.”

Shen Yuan never thought that he would transmigrate into a web novel. But, if he had… maybe he would have chosen a role with slightly more… narrative weight, than this one? Like sure, it’s all well and good to be the fancy top healer of a cultivation sect! But even though he- “Mu Qingfang”- has a sword, he barely ever uses it. What the heck! And did he accidentally... accept the protagonist as his disciple? Mr Protagonist Bingge sir… this humble man promises he wasn’t trying to steal your tragic coming up through misery backstory from you!

Shen Qingqiu has seen porn, okay? Back in the days when he was online for approximately 85% of his waking hours, there were popups all over the place. Sure, most of them were animated (poorly); most of them were gay male porn, for some reason (some reason); but there was some disconcerting real life stuff as well! He’s seen a vagina. At least a few times! He knows what they look like! Liu Qingge, on the other hand… Shen Qingqiu is 99% sure that this man hasn’t seen a vagina since the day he came out of one, if the way he’s staring down his pants in horror is any indication. ...Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu, and Liu Qingge are all infected by a terrible pollen that gives them a ~woman's body~ and can only be cured through orgasm. They, uh, work together, as um, a team, to- uh- to- orgasms are involved

While Luo Binghe is in the Abyss, Shen Qingqiu is struck by a strange poison that gives him a woman's body. The only solution: orgasm. Who on earth will be able to help him...?

During the succubus extra... Liu Qingge really doesn't know how to jack off and Shen Qingqiu has to help him.

AU where Airplane notices Peerless Cucumber's tweet, "Airplane, I will pay all your bills forever if you hire a goddamn editor, you hack." and replies, on fucking main, "you fucking prommy?" and lands himself an editor and a sugar-gege all in one go.

After the tranquil bamboo house on Qing Jing Peak and Luo Binghe’s splendid, demonic mansion, Shen Qingqiu definitely finds sleeping on a futon cradling a cheap dakimakura to be a downgrade.

Luo Binghe rolls to his back, looking up at their bed’s canopy. “When you invited me to sit in your carriage... that was you?” “Yes,” Shen Qingqiu says warily. “I was fourteen,” Luo Binghe says. “But if Shen Qinqgiu’s body wasn’t your own, how old were you?”

Shen Qingqiu’s inner robe spreads out like somewhat algae-infested green water across the sand floor of the succubus den. Liu Qingge lays- or, rather, stiffy braces himself on his elbows- like a white line of moonlight across it. Cautiously, Shen Qingqiu lays down next to Liu Qingge- barely touching him. The perfect skin of Liu Qingge’s face is illuminated by a faint sheen of sweat; his chest is heaving like so many flat bosoms in the chapters requested by that one reader who didn’t like big boobs. His hair is dark and beautiful, the bang falling across his cheek and directing the eye to his pink, parted lips. He is: pretty hot. He is: in need of assistance. He is: in need of LIFE SAVING SEX! Succubus extra~ it's t4t piv sex babes!

Oh no~ Shen Qingqiu has been struck by sex pollen~ good thing he has two beautiful lovers ready and willing to help! But they've never done it... with each other in the room... Local peak lord experiences first threesome while out of his mind horny on sex pollen, has more than one really good orgasm, click thru to read more

Liu Qingge would stand before him, shield and sword, and offer his all. So, when the man who held his heart and sword called for him, he came on the fastest blade in the human world. And when that man looked at him, a demonic arm curled around his waist and Luo Binghe plastered to his back, Liu Qingge stood at the ready. And when that man asked him to come into their bed, Liu Qingge pulled off his outer robe with steady hands.

Liu Qingge is struck by a poison that affects him at inopportune moments. The only cure, of course, is dual cultivation with an accomplished cultivator. Too bad that the only person around is Luo Binghe, and that suddenly everything is happening at once. Yue Qingyuan? Kidnapped. Shen Qingqiu? On his way to rescue him. Luo Binghe? Confronting a truth he never expected. And Liu Qingge is left with his spotty cultivation, a bone to pick, and no plans for how to cure himself of the poison.

“You’re going to stay in this cave,” Jiang Cheng says, arms spread wide to block the mouth of it, “or i will beat you until you are physically incapable of leaving it!” Jiang Cheng does, in fact, beat a Liu Qingge weakened by sex pollen. Then he beats... his meat (jk they smash)

“Shizun…” Shen Qingqiu looks up from where he’s kneeled at his writing desk, meeting the dark, hooded gaze of his husband standing beside him. Binghe is already dressed down to only a thin inner shirt that covers down to his upper thighs. At this angle, Shen Qingqiu can nearly see under it, blushing as Binghe’s hand slides enticingly up his thigh to drag the robe up and aside, parting just enough to display his pretty, already wet pussy. He swallows thickly, putting down his ink brush as he stares up at his husband’s shameless behaviour. Bingqiu find a flower with a unique side effect and find they really quite like the change.

"I accidentally created a whole real person to be my sexual plaything! And now I'm about to baby-trap him! In a trap that I also created! I'm pretty sure this isn't okay!"

Along with pining pathetically until he dies, Shang Qinghua's expectations for this post-canon world of Cucumber-bro's making are simple. They include managing the Ice Palace, eating, and maybe penning a few (less shitty) novels in his limited spare time. Retirement, boring and not fraught in the slightest. It's the least this old man deserves. The System, of course, has other ideas. 【Request received! More side quests will be made available to the Host. Please keep working hard!! ヽ(>∀

Fans of Proud Immortal Demon Way attempt to make sense of recent Twitter interactions between Peerless Cucumber and Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky. (siskyverse)

“You’ve won,” Liu Qingge says stiffly, after a long moment. “I cede.” “Oh?” Luo Binghe says, smirk spreading across his lips. “You’ll pay the forfeit?” “Didn’t you just hear me?” He's trying to keep his temper in check, with Shen Qingqiu watching him so closely. He’s only one monster short; it would take two more to break past even. “Very well then,” Luo Binghe says, grin stretching his lips irritatingly. “Strip.”

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua are stuck in a pit. With a curse. And they are not happy.

AU based on The Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir (familiarity with that story's not required). Wherein Shen Yuan transmigrates into a harem intrigues romance novel (gay edition), Yue Qingyuan really fucks up, Liu Qingge is not suitable for his job, and no one even remotely sees Luo Binghe coming.

Shang Hua really lucked out being reborn as the much-coddled son of one of the most ferocious demon matriarchs of the north. There are only a few, minor, inconsequential downsides.

Shen Qingqiu's /r/relationships post.

When Mobei Jun is struck by an insidious poison that requires dual cultivation to cure, Shang Qinghua isn’t exactly relieved, but at least it’s an easy cure, right? Wrong! Mobei Jun won’t dual cultivate? He won’t marry? He refuses all available methods to save his life? Why is he being so stubborn?! If he doesn't dual cultivate with someone, then he'll die!

In the weeks before Shang Qinghua's marriage to the King of the Northern Wastes, he invites Liu Qingge to go fishing.