Bruce Wayne can't possibly be as dumb as he acts, and Clark Kent isn't as ordinary as he appears.

For years now, Geno has managed to keep his two lives separate. Academics and hockey rarely intersect, and with his very specific interest in Russian military leadership in World War II, he doesn't expect the streams to cross. Ever. Sidney Crosby always does break expectations.

Gotham doesn't know what to be more shocked by. The revelation that four masked vigilantes are in custody in Arkham, or their real names going into public record with the mugshots.

Sherlock has just run off in a whirlwind of coat without a word, leaving Scotland Yard cursing his name. It’ll be a while before they can get someone to translate this, and meanwhile that tall know-it-all bastard has gone off to do god-knows-what without bothering to even tell them what the note says. John edges forward in the middle of the uproar, and surreptitiously glances at the note. Androvy, it says briefly. The warehouse at five. Serdyukov. John seems like such an ordinary bloke. Appearances can be deceptive.

“Your first mistake,” John says smoothly, “was calling yourself Moriarty. It got my attention.” In which Jim is not, in fact, Moriarty.

And how things could have gone differently.

Flashes of an unknown past haunt Naruto, entwining his steps with those of a former life no longer content to stay forgotten. There's a voice on the wind and another lifetime in his head, and it’s time for Uzushio’s Storm God to rise once more. (The soul of a city is a hard thing to kill. Uzushio is still aware, still waiting. And now, with the rebirth of her greatest Kage, it’s time to call her people home.)

Three years after the events of The Fast and the Furious (but with spaceships!) Brian's happy with his new family and life. Until he bumps into the last people that he wants to see.

After working together more than once, Peter’s trust in Wade develops into a strong bond. He ends up showing him his face and give him his name as a sign of trust :) Now if only Wade knew the word “personal space”.

Just because Iron Man is the only guide who can actually pull Bucky and Steve out of a zone, doesn't mean that Tony has to tell them who he is.

Tony Stark resigned his commission in Starfleet five years ago, after a disastrous away mission, and he swore he'd never go back. He just wants to be left alone to build warp engines in peace. But the universe has more in store for him than that, as he discovers when Admiral Fury comes to him with an offer he could never have expected and cannot possibly refuse: first officer and chief engineer aboard the all-new USS Avenger, a starship of Tony's own design. What's more, the Avenger's captain is Steve Rogers, hero of the Earth-Romulan War. Believed dead for over a century, Steve is miraculously alive... and very, very attractive. But nothing is ever easy for Tony. As he wrestles with his secret desire for his new captain and his not-so-dormant fears, another mission starts to go wrong, and Tony becomes aware that Steve has secrets of his own -- and the truth could change everything.

Aka everyone is a superhero or a sidekick or a damsel in distress in true comic style. Includes terrible hero names, almost everyone wearing spandex (Sakumo why must you be sensible and break the mold you nerd), ridiculousness, secret identity fails, and all of my favorite crack pairings. I would be sorry, but that would require a sense of shame and I misplaced mine long ago.

Zabuza's first mission out of the village with his genin team takes them right through hostile territory. What a surprise that it goes south.

When Endeavor finishes delivering his ultimatum, All-Might uses one of his precious minutes in his hero form to punch Endeavor in the face. The force of it sends the number two hero staggering back and into an alley wall, leaving an Endeavor-sized imprint in the bricks. “THAT IS NOT HERO-LIKE BEHAVIOR!” All-Might roars. ~ Endeavor finds out some secrets, and the price of his silence is the marriage of Izuku Midoriya, the anonymous hero Deku, to his youngest son.

"When his dad finds out about him being Spider-Man, it's not in any way that Miles has hoped it would happen." Jefferson finds out about Miles's secret.

The boy came to UCR_1669321_QH with the night shuttle. This was significant only because the ID he showed to Auntie Huaifeng on paperwork duty is clearly fake, and he didn’t leave with the next shuttle outbound—he wandered further into the belly of the station instead, asking about work. Auntie Huaifeng reports this all to Mingjue through the comm right from her rickety booth overlooking the station shuttleport in gleeful, cracking bursts.

Meng Yao had finally achieved the pinnacle of power: he was the viceroy of Emperor Wen Ruohan, who conquered the cultivation world years ago - the Nie sect heirs having disappeared without a trace, the Jin compromised, the Lan crushed, the Jiang destroyed - and the Emperor had left him in complete charge in his absence. Unfortunately, complete charge meant a complete headache. How was he supposed to get anything done when everyone else was scheming against him all the time? He needed help, and good help was so hard to find. "Hold this," he said to a passing guard - something of a giant, with a tall frame, strong back, and broad shoulders, and handsome features to boot; just Meng Yao’s type. "It’s not that difficult. I only need your arms, not your brain, so just – do it. Whatever your name is!” “A-Jue,” the guard said. “I mostly get called A-Jue.”

Either way, there was someone or something to blame for the fact that Jack ended up sending Connor Fucking McDavid a dick pic. Perhaps it was the universe as a whole.

CPS Agent, pointing at Tim Drake: We need to take him with us Red Hood: He's fine where he is CPS: He's a minor Hood: Timbo, you a minor? Tim: Can't prove it CPS: I mean, I can. There are records – Tim, who has just finishing hacking CPS to remove his own file: Oh really, tell me more about these records +++ A CPS agent gets sent to investigate a tip that Tim Drake has been abandoned by his parents and is living with the Red Hood. The CPS agent leaves with no Tim Drake, a date with Red Hood's lieutenant, and an intern who's promising to fix the IT systems at his office. It's a weird day for Theo.

A CPS agent gets sent to investigate a tip that Tim Drake has been abandoned by his parents and is living with the Red Hood. The CPS agent leaves with no Tim Drake, a date with Red Hood's lieutenant, and an intern who's promising to fix the IT systems at his office. It's a weird day for Theo.

Tim runs into Jason while he's disguised as Caroline Hill. Jason doesn't see through the disguise and becomes increasingly fond of this mysterious woman. Shenanigans Ensue. ------ Tim scowls at Jason’s innocent act. “Miss?” he repeats, thinking for a moment Jason is mocking his disguise. “Uh, Mrs. or- fuck- it’s probably, Doctor, right?” “You…” don’t know who I am, Tim realizes. “You can call me Caroline.” “It’s nice to meet you Caroline,” Jason says, and Tim almost laughs at how absurd it is to have Jason being polite to him. “I’m Red Hood.”

Aizawa didn't expect to enjoy HeroCon this year. Especially not being on a panel with All Might -- whose bright idea was that? Meeting Yagi Toshinori changes everything. He's funny. (Oh no.) He's unapologetic. (Oh no.) He's interesting. (Oh shit.)

When signs of a blackmarket organ trafficker floats up in Gotham Harbor, Jason and Tim find out that the victims had one thing in common: they both worked at a gay strip club. Determined to root out the traffickers, both decide to go undercover to solve the case. The only problem? Neither knows the other is working the case.

Danny is a sleep deprived GU student at an all night cafe just trying to finish a paper. Enter one Red Robin: an equally sleep deprived vigilante who really needs a coffee… as well as a little help with a strange weight on his shoulders.

Tim's life as a regular college student in Gotham, with his Crime Lord(tm) roommate.

Peter’s just trying to live his life as a normal omega — as normal as an omega can be after being bitten by a radioactive spider. What he certainly did not need while out of costume and quickly falling into heat was to run into Deadpool. Alphas usually didn’t take kindly to what happened to Peter during his unique, super-powered heats. Turns out, Deadpool is the absolute opposite of upset about it.

Jazz meets her soulmate in, of all places, Park Row. Or as the locals call it, Crime Alley. Seems about right for her life, she decides as she kicks the shit out of the guy who was trying to stab him for his wallet fifteen seconds ago. Her soulmate watches her curiously, seeming unconcerned by the fuss, and takes a sip of his smoothie. Also seems about right, for her soulmate. A guy who got too nervous when necessary violence happened was not going to survive Thanksgiving in Amity Park, much less Christmas. Well, it is Gotham.

Peter finally has a day to himself, and he decides to relax, maybe take out a couple of toys. But then Deadpool comes by and finds this remote on the counter and oh God the vibrator's still inside of him.

Tim has plans to meet his boyfriend's sister. Jason has plans to meet his girlfriend's brother. These two things should not be related. But their respective partners certainly are. Alternatively: Tim is dating Danny, and Jason is dating Jazz. Neither of them realize this until they're at Jazz's place at the same time without telling each other where they were going. Well. Their evening just got a lot more interesting.

Bernard opens the laptop, spinning it to face Tim with a flourish. It’s a powerpoint with a truly hideous red background, and Tim feels a moment of relief that Bernard isn’t breaking up with him before he registers the words on the slide. REASONS WHY TIMOTHY DRAKE-WAYNE IS A SUPERHERO, A STUDY BY BERNARD DOWD. - Based on my post on tumblr: "I’m obsessed with the idea that Bernard like. Figures out that Tim is a superhero but guesses the wrong one. Like he compiles all this evidence and makes a PowerPoint and presents it to Tim and is like “Tim. I figured it out. You’re Impulse.”"

Bernard pops the top off his water bottle, a roll of his wrist at the perfect angle and it comes right off, and pops the faucet in Tim’s very nice kitchen to cold. Tim presses a kiss to the back of Bernard’s neck before Tim moves to the fridge to get his own water. Bernard used to not drink as much water, but Tim drinks enough water for three people a day so Bernard naturally has followed- and now Bernard has no acne so he’s sort of mad about it actually. “The main character has two hands.” Bernard chimes easy and teasing. “Polygamy is the awnser here babe.” Tim peaks over the door of the fridge. “Oh? Is this you telling me something?” — Tim Drake, Bernard Dowd, and Kon-El have two hands each. They use them to hold onto each other.

Bernard has Tim beta his fanfiction. It's get awkward. Meanwhile, Tim adored the self-insert/Red Robin fics Bernard's been writing and hiding from him.

Darcy thinks maybe her new intern is a slut. Like–a big one. Big ol’ slut. Both metaphorically and literally, since he's 6’3” of Kansas beefcake and maybe the literal only human being alive who has a build remotely comparable to Thor's. So like, a billion steroids or secretly an alien, Darcy’s assuming.

Everyone is whispering that a Jedi saved the Mand'alor’s aide.

"Superboy will be staying at Mount Justice for now," Bruce says. He doesn't look at Clark as he says it. Clark doesn't look at him either. ". . . Mount Justice is a cave," Captain Marvel says, clearly even more bewildered. "And Superboy is solar-powered. Isn't that kind of . . . I don't know . . . mean?" "'Mean'?" Clark repeats in disbelief before he can think better of it.