Patrick Kane has soft hands.

“You ready?” you ask, and the most important human in the galaxy sticks her tongue out at you. Several of your organs do a giddy flip. Then the knot is tied and that’s it, you’re moirails.

Dorian Pavus needs out of Tevinter. The Iron Bull, a relatively well off rancher, is in want of a husband. It may as well be a perfect match. After answering The Iron Bull's ad in the newspaper, Dorian is whisked out of Tevinter and into the rugged beauty of Western Orlais to become a farm husband. Together, they learn how to love among the wildflowers.

“So I say, before I’m thinking through, I say am getting married,” Geno says and glances up at Sid and then back down again. “They say to American?” Geno seems reluctant to continue. Sid’s stuck on trying to figure out who Geno is marrying and why he didn’t tell Sid about it. “I say, ‘no, to Canadian.'” Sid makes a face. Because seriously, Sid feels like he would’ve heard if Geno was dating someone that seriously. But then again, he had no idea Geno had a kid until he was sitting in a hotel room in fucking Finland. “Who?” Sid finally asks when Geno seems like he’s not going to continue. Geno takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “You.” “Me what?” Sid asks stupidly. or The summer Russia invaded Ukraine and Geno had to marry Sid: a love story.

Jupiter Jones needs a green card. Caine Wise needs a place to live. What's a little marriage of convenience, between strangers? AU based on the movie Green Card.

“You know,” Zabuza gets out on a laugh, “I didn’t think you had it in you.” Kakashi shoves his knee up higher, slams into him so hard it makes Zabuza gasp. “I'm not the one with it in me,” he says mildly.

“Thank you,” he says, and the words feel like they don’t fit right in his mouth. What are you supposed to say, really, when someone gives you a piece of their spirit-form? Especially under these circumstances. Shisui wishes treason came with some kind of manual. Maybe a book full of helpful hints. When plotting to overturn decades of hatred and stop a war by lying to the whole world, be careful not to offend the man giving you his teeth to wear as earrings.

“You’re all right?” the stranger asks gently. “I'm sorry for the fright, it’s been a long time since I healed a human, and you’ve changed greatly over the years. Your chakra especially.” A human, implying that he isn't one. Izuna swallows, licks his lips, and wonders what the hell it means that he was just in a liplock with a god.

There's no division between the forest and the citadel.

okay so i LOVE mulan okay. as far as i’m concerned it’s a Perfect Movie and doesn’t need any fixing. but i was thinking today and - - what if mulan didn’t go to war to save her father?

Short fic about newly-crowned King Alistair coming to terms with being married to Anora, and vice versa.

It’s a really unfortunate thing, developing a crush on your husband. Wei Ying had assumed this would be easy. Lan Zhan had been so icy and unpleasant to him, it had never occurred to him that he might end up spending the next however many years with this dumb, burning feeling in his chest whenever he looks at him. “Okay,” says Wei Ying. “But tell me if I…if the pretending gets to be too hard, okay?” “It will not,” says Lan Zhan, quietly certain.

Despite being one of the strongest omegas alive, Nie Huaisang has never desired recognition. He would have been happy to spend his life pretending to be a nobody so he could stay at his brother’s side in Qinghe. But when Wen Ruohan attempts to take control of the other sects during the Wen Discussion Conference, Nie Huaisang must do what he can to mitigate what he fears may soon become outright war. Even if it means publically claiming his former classmate Jiang Cheng.

“I propose that we kill two birds with one stone,” Liu Mingyan said, and if her tone goes a bit theatrical, Jiang Cheng had the decency not to point it out. “I don’t follow,” Jiang Cheng deadpanned, crossing his arms. “I thought the plan was to milk this whole thing for what it’s worth and gracefully part ways when it inevitably fell apart.” “Yes, well. There’s a perfectly viable solution to the whole ‘falling apart’ part - you,” she said, pointing to Jiang Cheng, “Marry my brother.” -- Jiang Cheng gets married in the spring of his 39th year. It turns out better than he expected.

There was no way the old contract Jiang Cheng found arranging a marriage between the direct disciples of the Nie and Jiang sects was, as Jiang Cheng insisted, the way to solve the problem of the Yiling Patriarch - if only because there was no way the Nie sect would agree to it. Except - they did. And now they're coming to discuss terms. With Lan Wangji as the official chaperone.

Meng Yao goes into heat while working as Sect Leader Nie’s assistant. Nie Mingjue shares his heat and Meng Yao ends up pregnant. Both believing the other regrets what happened, they end up in a marriage of convenience with all the misunderstandings and lack of proper communication to follow. Then Lan Xichen arrives in the Unclean Realm at the end of Meng Yao’s pregnancy and things get even more complicated.

The words spill out of him before he can arrange them into something more coherent. “Anora, I think I might have a child.” (Or: in which Alistair Theirin realises he loves his wife.)

Nie Huaisang snapped open his fan and covered his face. "Be careful. I'll take advantage."

"Betrothed," Wei Ying says indignantly. Lan Wangji can't stop his gaze from darting up to him. Wei Ying understands. Wei Ying is looking at him, wide-eyed and upset on his behalf. "And you don't even like her," Wei Ying says. "I don't even know her," Lan Wangji says quietly. "But even if you did—" Wei Ying starts. "I wouldn't want this," Lan Wangji finishes.

It happened like this: Jin Ling was a sect leader now, which was, and Jingyi really meant this, fucking hilarious. There were few things funnier, in his honest opinion. Because he was young, and inexperienced, and also — it had to be said — a real shithead, there was apparently some belief amongst his advisors that the best way forward, to promote the picture of a stable, mature sect leader who absolutely did not cry at the drop of a hat, was for Jin Ling to get married. - OR: Jin Ling and Jingyi get engaged. Things spiral from there.

A week after an attack that nearly killed him and his son, Jaster Mereel finds Mostross dead on a battlefield. His killer is a Jedi, grievously wounded, who Jaster takes into his care. By Mandalorian tradition, Jon Antilles owes him a life-debt, and Jaster is cunning enough not to let such a thing slip away. It's meant to be an entirely political arrangement. It doesn't stay that way for long.

Quinlan finds a man frozen in carbonite on Geonosis. That's just the start of his problems.

“Sid, I’m so—I’m sorry,” Geno said. “My stupid—I’m ruin everything, I—” “Shut up, Geno,” Sidney said, already intensely weary of listening to Geno’s self-recrimination. “You’ve barely even done anything.” Geno’s voice dropped what sounded like an entire octave. “But I want to.”

"I think I have to get bonded," Sid said in a hollow voice, cutting off Geno's building outrage. "Wait, what?" Geno asked, mind jumping like a car on a blown tire. "To who?" "Anybody." Sid's eyes were unfocused, staring through the wall in front of him. "I don't know. I just need to bond." "That's a story," Geno scoffed. He had always thought they had good sex education in Canada, but apparently, the rumors persisted there, too. "You don't stop heat if you bond." "Heat?" Sid asked, eyes squinched up curiously. "G—I'm not. You know I'm an alpha, right?" *** Or five times Sid couldn't bond with an omega and one time he did.

When Sid goes down during the game against Capitals he knows the verdict long before the doctors tell him. With the rest of his career at stake, as well as the potential of a healthy life after retirement, he’s running out of options. When Sergei Gonchar reaches out with a questionable offer, Sid has a difficult time refusing.

Sid is asleep when Geno comes crashing into the bedroom. Sid had been sleeping the sleep of the post-hockey season depressed, so it takes a few minutes for him to realize Geno is speaking and seems to think Sid is listening. “Wait, what?” Sid says. He pushes himself up onto his elbows and squints at Geno. “What?” “I marry you, I become American, yeah?” Geno asks, waving his hands in the air. Sid’s arms give in and he flops back to the bed, getting a mouth full of pillow. Sid has no idea what Geno’s talking about. They have a marriage plan, but it’s definitely not a right-now plan, it’s a years-down-the-road plan. He turns over and frowns up at Geno. “I’m Canadian.” (a response to the recent 'outlawing gay' nonsense in St. Petersburg).

Alex twists the ring around his finger as he watches Nick pace. He consented, everyone did, but in the privacy of their room, he seems much more on edge now about it. “Nicky,” he finally whines, sick of watching. Despite all his pacing, Nicky’s face is blank and Alex has no idea what he’s thinking. Nicky spins to face him. “I don’t want this.”

Nate looks away, shifting his weight between his feet. “Uh, it’s a contract,” he says. EJ stares at him for a moment. “I didn’t know you were seeing someone,” he blurts out once he’s done staring because that’s the only reasonable explanation for this. Nate looks up at him, confused and weirded out at the same time. “I’m not,” he says. “It’s for you,” he adds. In which the NHL requires subs over the age of 31 to be collared, and EJ finds himself in a tough spot.

He also doesn’t miss the way Zhenya chokes on a carrot when Sid adds a ‘yes, daddy’ after Seryozha asked the savior of hockey to pass him the butter.

After Joffrey beheads Ned Stark, and his engagement to Sansa is broken, he decides to host a tournament, with the prize being Sansa's hand in marriage. When Jaime Lannister shows up at the last minute to win it, she's afraid she'll be stuck in King's Landing until Joffrey's cruelty does her in. But Jaime made a promise and, one way or another, Lannisters always pay their debts.

On a border world caught between the Sith and Mandalorian Empires, Mace and his padawan seek a vanished Council member. They aren't the only ones looking for something lost, though, and Jaster Mereel is a force all his own - one Mace is hard-pressed to resist.

Jango Fett makes a comeback as Mand’alor during the Mandalorian Civil Wars by reviving an archaic tradition – rescuing an enemy in battle in order to wed them into one’s clan. Such was often, in the past, how the ending of feuds began. So he rescues Lady Satine Kryze and her Jedi Protector, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi. As for marrying them into his clan – well. Clan Fett is a Clan of exactly one, at the moment. He’s thought this through. Really. Not getting more than he bargained for with two catty and lovesick teenaged revolutionaries at all. It’s fine. Things are fine. He is completely in control. (Is he, though?)

After decades of watching Xanatos play Imperial politics and neglect his family, right up until Tura's death, Granta decides to take revenge on his father. The best way to do that is to make sure Xanatos never reaches the throne he covets, and for that purpose, Granta proposes a marriage alliance with one of the top contenders for the crown and Xanatos's political enemy, the vicious and deadly Marshal Commander Cody. Granta has it all meticulously, ruthlessly plotted out, with no room for error. It's too bad that falling in love with his husband was never part of the plan.

Tim gives him an incredulous look. "Is this really the way you guys do things? I'm sorry, but do you really think it's okay to marry someone you barely know and create an entire person—a baby, one that's going to need someone to look after it for 18 years or longer—just for money?!" "That's not…" Jason makes a frustrated sound. "Look, you're 19, right? We can talk about the intentional baby acquisition when you're legally old enough to drink. By then we'll know if our marriage can sustain a child. But I think it's worth a try." - After civilian Tim Drake gets trapped in the Bat Cave following multiverse shenanigans, he enters an arrangement with the crime lord Red Hood in an effort to gain access to a trust fund with some very particular requirements.