"The most he'd ever cared about anything remotely related was his uniform, which, beyond the stylistic, was pretty necessary. But now his suit comes from a lab far more advanced than the basement of a Brooklyn antique shop, and the only decision he really gets to make is if his pants are too tight. (They were, but he doesn't really think they changed them. He doesn't know why, but he thinks that might have been on purpose.) That being said, he doesn't know what he's done to deserve the double take Tony gives him as he walks in the room."

"The first time Steve meets Toni is about a week after he wakes up."

"Check it out, I think you've found a nerd soulmate," Mark whispers loudly, especially for a dude who was home-schooled and likes to bird watch. But Chris obligingly looks across the aisle to the opposing gate and holy crap- there's a Yoda backpack leaning up against the leg of a skinny redhead.

"But for some reason, when Stiles sees Derek talking to Lydia, the two of them painfully good-looking, all she can think about is that her hair is in a messy ponytail and there's pizza sauce on the hem of her t-shirt. It's not like she wants to go on a montage out of a '90s teen film and come out like Rachel Leigh Cook on a staircase, but Stiles maybe thinks she doesn't want to look like the homeless one in the pack."

"He misses his regular appointment to get shorn because he's too busy trying to keep Scott out of trouble and he starts to look a little bit like a hedgehog. By the time he misses the rescheduled appointment though, his hair's grown out enough that he really can't be bothered."

"Today is Scott's first day of kindergarten and Derek is terrified."

"Of course, when they get to Glee, Mr. Schue is talking crazy talk about something and the girls and guys are split up again. Liesl thinks half the reason they're always scrambling for a set list is because Mr. Schue is incapable of making good decisions, as evidenced by his marriage. Rachel is blathering something about their Sectionals competition and Liesl isn't paying any attention until she hears the words "spies" and oh my god, they'll be laughed out of the state if they let Rachel get within 10 miles of Dalton Academy for Girls."

“Vancouver!” Sid turns and shouts at the last second as she goes through the doors. “Vancouver!” Geno yells back.

By the fourth time Crosby has hung up on him, Alex has to admit that this has gone from funny to, frankly, a little hurtful.

"The first time Steve meets Toni is about a week after he wakes up."

"He misses his regular appointment to get shorn because he's too busy trying to keep Scott out of trouble and he starts to look a little bit like a hedgehog. By the time he misses the rescheduled appointment though, his hair's grown out enough that he really can't be bothered."

In breaking news, surprising no one, Sharpy is a dick.

By the fourth time Crosby has hung up on him, Alex has to admit that this has gone from funny to, frankly, a little hurtful.

"The biceps peeking out of the sleeves, stretching the material thin and tight, are a lot more impressive than Geno remembers. He would have remembered if Sid had arms like that."

And of course, because Sharpy is the most ill-mannered Canadian ever, he opens up the newspaper like he doesn't have the most entertaining thing in Chicago across the table from him anyway. He's totally pretending to read it, just to make Patrick salty, but two can play at that game, so he snatches the Sunday inserts out of the folds, smirking at Sharpy. But he glances down and staring up at him, looking like, all of eighteen and strangely soft and sweet is Jonathan fucking Toews.

"Bits, you live tweeting this?" Shitty asks.

When Bittle first showed up at a meeting with management, sitting next to Sara with wide, scared eyes, Jack didn't think he had a chance in hell. Sara hired new assistants all the time, most of whom barely made it through a season.

When Bittle first showed up at a meeting with management, sitting next to Sara with wide, scared eyes, Jack didn't think he had a chance in hell. Sara hired new assistants all the time, most of whom barely made it through a season.

Sid didn’t introduce himself in the hallway, and he certainly doesn’t assume that people know who he is. So it would only be polite to thank Malkin again, this time more personally. He could write him a letter. An email? No, a letter.

“Vancouver!” Sid turns and shouts at the last second as she goes through the doors. “Vancouver!” Geno yells back. (Sochi timestamp.)

"Frankly, it’s a miracle that the house is finished- carpet in place, furniture assembled, decorative hand towels on the racks- and Sid really can’t help being proud. And if that translates into telling everyone he can convince to stay still for longer than thirty seconds, he’s sorry, but not that sorry."

"What are you saying?" Johnny says slowly, because this sounds like she's trying to pick him up, which is impossible, because if Kaner has one concrete rule, it's ‘anyone but teammates.’ "We can help each other out here," Kaner suggests, crossing her legs in her too-short skirt. "That's all. Two friends helping each other out in a dry spell. You're free to do whatever. It wouldn't be a big deal."