The Full Metal Alchemist, of course, accepted his assignment with all the gravity due his station.

"The Bastard is not in love with me, and I can prove it. With science!"

In hindsight, maybe introducing the local werewolf contingent to the wonderful world of online gaming hadn't exactly been Stiles' best idea.

"I accept your body!" Stiles says hurriedly. "I accept you. Sexually." There is a pause. Derek says, "Thanks." A surprise comedy knotting story. You have a lot to answer for, Twitter fandom.

In breaking news, surprising no one, Sharpy is a dick.

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

A story about not!Russians, the Atlantis Hockey League, accidental offworld marriages (of course) and the intergalactic sex appeal of the mullet.

Patrick sighs and sinks further in his seat. “So I was playing truth or dare with my sisters the other day,” he says, eyeing Johnny challengingly like he’s daring him to make something of it. Johnny’s mouth twitches, but he keeps his smile tamped down for now; if Patrick’s giving Johnny an opening like that to make fun of him, then that means there’s something even better coming. “Uh-huh,” he says, makes a go on motion.

Parker never liked school.

The school year is almost over, and with it Beth's time as alpha of the team pack. As if that weren't enough to deal with, Amanda's back, and she's acting weird. Beth can’t fix everything, but she can damn well try.

Havoc's first encounter with the little Elrics. Havoc had been looking forward to meeting the Elric brothers, but he’d been looking forward to it while thinking he’d have the whole office as a buffer. He hadn’t thought he’d have them all to himself in a car for half an hour in traffic. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Overjoyed was not the word.

“So, uh, I think our room’s haunted,” Ransom says, settling down next to Holster on the floor of the attic, and Holster blinks back into awareness again. (Or; ghosts, drinks, and bros doing bro things. Like making out.)

Tyler thought things would be different in Dallas. He just had no idea how different it could be.

What do you mean had?

"Oh? You can't kiss silver?" Viktor makes a mock-horrified face. "Silver? No way!" Ah. Yuuri recognizes this—Viktor getting into one of his bratty moods. Yuuri's never really tried to do anything about it before, and eventually Viktor always tones it back down, but this time, Yuuri wonders... He shrugs. "Well, I guess I just won't be able to kiss you then."

Ever since the day he met Jack Zimmermann, Shitty has seen it as his solemn duty to aggressively love him. (He just didn't know how aggressive the love Jack needed would be.)

Ed loses his virginity, and then his inhibitions. Roy loses his mind.

Victor learns language through mimicry, hears phrases and repeats them back until the inflection becomes second nature. Yuuri seems to communicate best through euphemism, through metaphor, through talking around the subject rather than approaching it head on, and so Victor tries his best to mimic him, to take his words and echo them back. (Vignettes in language learning and communication, spanning the whole series.)

You lose your pale virginity to John Egbert at a Gamzee Makara party.

"It has been brought to my attention that I want to have sex with you," Ed said aggressively.

Ryo feels different, after.

This time, Yuuri is determined not to get stupidly drunk and make a fool of himself at the post-competition banquet. Instead, he ends up worrying over Yurio.

“I kind of need you to be my fake girlfriend for dinner with Dr. Gorin tonight?” she said in a rush. “I may have accidentally given her the impression that we’re dating and now she’s insisting on dinner and I can’t really say no now.”

“We-ell,” Tyler says, drawing the word out, “I mayhaveaccidentallygottenmarried.” Jamie stares out at the Pacific Ocean and seriously considers throwing himself in.

A podfic of "Greatly Approved" by damalur. "An apostate's guide to popular fiction. (Or: Hawke runs headlong into Cassandra's book club, Varric comes along for the ride.)"

The thing about Karkat Vantas is, he might be a pompous, noisy windbag with an inflated opinion of his own importance, and if he was suddenly struck down by some kind of vicious troll laryngitis the universe's total amount of chill and quiet would suddenly go up three levels... But turns out he's also a great fuck.

It's Sid's job as captain to match up the subs on his team with suitable Doms. It doesn't take long to figure out that the only Dom he would trust Jamie Benn's particular needs to is himself.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

Your name is John Egbert and you know you are not a homosexual. Apparently your friends were informed otherwise.

Kanaya is usually good at offering caring and reasonable comfort. But this, right now: this she isn't equipped for.

This is what I'm telling myself happens next until proven otherwise.

The Leverage team gets called in to find and help someone caught between something he doesn't think he's earned and something no one deserves.

In which Tsuna doesn't understand what the rest of the world is watching him for.

Girls, you know, are much too clever to fall out of their prams.

Everyone is born with the ability to only see the colour of their soulmate's eyes. Only upon touching their soulmate, can people see the rest of the world's colours. Edward Elric will do whatever it takes to get his brother's body back and ensure he can have his happily ever after with his soulmate, even if it means never finding his own soulmate.

Alec Hardison had given a lot of thought to how he would die. Death by cop. Thrown into the darkest hole Guantanamo Bay possessed. Heart attack from a lifetime diet of hot pockets and orange-colored chemicals. He hadn't considered adding death by weather-inflicted man-eating-sharks to the list. (Or: Interspersed by media accounts of the incident, the tale of the Leverage team vs. Sharknado.)