Notes: The Helicarrier! You want hysterical and perfect characterization, look no further. This fic was just begging to be read. It has such amazing dialogue, and it genuinely made me laugh out loud while I was reading it, and it also happens to be by one of my favorite folks on tumblr (seriously if you are not following lucy re-evaluate your life).

The glass case that holds Captain America's uniform and shield is filled to the brim with what looks like a bright orange gelatin.

Of course, because the powers that be seem bent on making their lives a living hell, the city's entire power grid goes out the third day they've moved in.

It'd be easier to stop, Xiao Zhan thinks, if it wasn't such great sex.

Xiao Zhan looks up, ears twitching. Yibo's staring straight at him, mouth hanging slightly open, a towel clutched around his waist. Oh, shit, Xiao Zhan thinks, blinking slowly once, twice, and then hops right back out the window again.

Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

Yibo opens his mouth and says, "I want to learn," barreling past the rapid rise of Xiao Zhan's eyebrows. "To last longer. Will you teach me?"

The fault, Nie Mingjue thinks later, lies squarely with the blasted weather.

Yizhou moves to Beijing. Ji Li helps him adjust.

"You're sure this is okay?" Yibo mumbles now, curling his knees beneath his chin on the toilet seat. "You don't have to check in with me every time," Xiao Zhan says, sounding warm over the fuzzy connection. His face is clear and his eyes are bright. Yibo feels himself relaxing. "Just tell me all about it later, yeah?"

"You can't be serious," Xiao Zhan says. "Zhan-ge," Yibo cajoles, brandishing his PS4 controller and patting the couch next to him. "Just give me like, two minutes. I promise. I swear. I just gotta be online for this drop."

Two things happen simultaneously when their hands touch: first, the migraine that Xiao Zhan's been fighting all day dissipates so immediately that a loud gasp slips out of his mouth. Second, a torrential outpouring of warmth shoots up Xiao Zhan's arm so quickly that he almost loses his balance and falls off the bench. The next moment, Xiao Zhan drops Yibo's hand. He tries to convert the abrupt movement into something more graceful, but he doesn't think he succeeds. Yibo's eyes have gone wide. His neck bobs as he swallows. What the hell, Xiao Zhan thinks faintly, astonishment thick in his throat. He just manages to keep himself from passing out as the migraine lances through his head again with a vengeance.

Xiao Zhan isn't sure when a normal evening drinking with his cast mates turned into watching porn with them, but the transition must have been both swift and head-spinning, and if pressed, he'd blame it on Yu Bin.

Under absolutely no circumstances is Runqing allowed to touch the wok.

"Surely I don't need underthings to be in proper disguise," Tang Fan says, chewing on his lip.

Three days after Wang Zhi leaves the capital, bits and pieces of his extensive library begin arriving at Sui Zhou's house.

a version of the nhl where every rookie that makes the show is a virgin (though this is pretty variable), and every team has a couple of guys whose job on top of hockey is to fuck the rookie on camera. videos are passed on to every team captain because the captain of a winning team gets to choose a player from the losing team to fuck (or bestow upon another player on their team to fuck). as such, this series contains somewhat dubious consent inherent to the premise.

"So you're gonna take me to prom, huh," Dylan says, testing the words out in his mouth. "Which one?" "Not McDowell's," Connor says, like he's given it a lot of thought. He probably has. Jesus. "Ideally we'll still be in the playoffs, so we won't have time." "Ideally," Dylan echoes, and takes another bite of burrito to calm himself. Whatever, it's not like prom's a huge deal to either of them. They could go as buddies. People do that. "What should I wear?" If anything, Connor just grins wider.

"I just wanna see it," Noah says.

At first, Zoro thinks Nami's just hungover.