"You're not a very good Jedi, are you?" the Sith Lord said. "Oh, excuse me, I am an excellent Jedi," Rodney said.

Luthor Family Values.

Sam and Dean go to Hogwarts.

Sam really didn't mean to get trapped with the demon, really he didn't.

Adam jabbed Kris in the side with an elbow to interrupt him and said, "Okay, so I am giving you fair warning here, the next time you say one word about how I deserved it, or how sorry you are, or for that matter just spend your interview time going off on how awesome I am, I am going to be so totally overcome with love for you that I am going to have to kiss you."

"We've got twelve hours of highway to go and I'm bored," Dean said.

The hellhounds were milling around her legs, almost high as her waist: pale white hides and red eyes, long red tongues lolling out between their stained teeth, all of them panting like the exhaust of an eighteen-wheeler and staring right at him.

The tentacles looked almost like jewelry, sort of iridescent-shiny blue and purple, speckled with pale silvery spots, and they wound around Adam's wrists and up into his palms and coiled there, like small glittery snakes.

There was a sharp and bitter edge crept into the words, a reminder that not all was well: that Thor still had a brother, but not a friend.

"How was I to know?" Thor demanded. "Surely a 'Justice of the Peace' is meant to sentence evildoers! And why did he not say otherwise, if it was not so?"

"Can't we just kill a bunch of elves without having to talk about our feelings?" Dean said.

"The castle is sweltering in the midsummer heat, stones breathing damply under the sun's height when even the air lies still."

"So what's the problem?" Elizabeth asked. "They won't talk to us unless we sing first," John said.

"So what's the problem?" Elizabeth asked. "They won't talk to us unless we sing first," John said.

When Thor fell, everything trembled.

"How was I to know?" Thor demanded. "Surely a 'Justice of the Peace' is meant to sentence evildoers! And why did he not say otherwise, if it was not so?"

"I am hugging you," Thor explained. "That you may know I love you, despite your madness."

He only meant to complain; you didn't take serving girls on hunting trips, and the alternative interpretation didn't even occur to him until Merlin said indignantly, "I'm not going to do that!"

Sam found a way to get rid of them for almost a month at a time, a spell that lasted until the first night of the full moon.

"Yeah, you boys nailed that trickster real good," Bobby said, dry as dust.

Dean had them heading towards Golden Valley on I-93 when the semi and the fighter jet went screaming by, blasting at each other with what looked like laserbeams. That was crazy enough, even before both of them smashed into the overpass and stopped long enough to unfold into giant robots. (Crossover with Transformers)

David stared up at him as he came to the table, and then Cook put a hand on David's shoulder and leaned over him. There was a really—really—weird moment when David thought for a second that Cook was about to—was going to—and David's stomach squeezed into a tiny knot, but Cook was just reaching over to grab the jacket he'd left on his seat.

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

Comment-fic for eliade, prompt: John/Rodney--slavery slavery slavery SLAVERY.

It was a vague feeling; nothing concrete, nothing he could put a name to, just an uncomfortable sensation scratching low at the base of his brain.

Kris wasn't brand-new at the substitute gig, but it was still a little unsettling to walk into the office his first day at the new school, and have the secretary look him up and down and say, "Oh, you are going to be eaten alive."

Teaching old dogs new tricks. (Set in mid season 3.)

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

No way had Bobby pulled out some pair of real mystical amulets from nowhere and handed them over like crackerjack prizes.

"You're not a very good Jedi, are you?" the Sith Lord said. "Oh, excuse me, I am an excellent Jedi," Rodney said.

For svmadelyn's badfic-summary challenge, summary from hyperfocused: Rodney MmmKay's mother always told him smart boys never get the hot guys. Can he pretend to be dumb so hunky pilot John Shep Hard will ask him to the Atlantis: Under the Sea prom? W/ my OC Princess Ancienta. Warnings: ANGST M/M plz rd/rvw Oh, yeah.

"Yeah, you boys nailed that trickster real good," Bobby said, dry as dust.

Luthor Family Values.

"The king sent me to get you," Merlin said, with a tone that implied strongly that he wasn't rolling his eyes where Arthur could see, but just wait until his back was turned. "He said you're to get changed into formal clothes and meet him in the Great Hall, there's a delegation coming from the Summer Court."

Sam and Dean go to Hogwarts. (spoilers for All Hell Breaks Loose, Deathly Hallows)

"I have called you to give you a warning," the dragon said. "A red moon rises over Camelot this night. The Wild Hunt will ride."

A little AU ending for the first-times challenge on pirates500.

Kris stopped taking slaves to his bed after his father died; he let them think it was grief, and then he let them think it was the burden of ruling, but he'd hated it all along.

In which various people become various things they weren't before.

It just wasn't like that.

"Megan!" Kris said. "He's my TA. I'm not going to—"

Adam jabbed Kris in the side with an elbow to interrupt him and said, "Okay, so I am giving you fair warning here, the next time you say one word about how I deserved it, or how sorry you are, or for that matter just spend your interview time going off on how awesome I am, I am going to be so totally overcome with love for you that I am going to have to kiss you."

Outside the city walls, the tower stood black against the sky.

The strategy had not included getting drunk himself and losing all sense of timing and being the tawdry and expensive rebound sex.

Happiness comes unexpectedly.

"I thought it was going to be an ice cream maker or something," Kris said.

Kris just laughed. "Do you get—we're talking twenty thousand pounds at least just to clear the debts?" "Yes," Anoop said. "There's a way." "Who do I have to kill?" Kris said, dryly. "Not kill," Anoop said. "Marry."

John had gotten kind of blasé about offworld travel.