“Okay, this is what I’ve figured out so far. I’m stuck in some sort of hell that looks vaguely like a Sandra Bullock movie.”

“You have no idea what you’re doing, okay?” Ryan says in exasperation, blowing out a huffy breath. “I’m just saying. I think…I might know a guy.”

Superpowers AU, in which Ryan Ross can't help reading people's minds, Jon Walker absorbs energy (and usually controls it perfectly), Spencer Smith shoots ice from his hands and saves melting refreshments, and Brendon Urie sometimes bursts into flames.

Brendon Urie would call himself an ordinary guy. Spencer Smith would call him stupidly hot, if he weren't about to destroy Brendon's career. A rich, successful journalist and food critic, Spencer aims to write a scathing review of Brendon's little muffin and cupcake shop. He never mixes business with pleasure. But the secrets Brendon's keeping intrigue Spencer, and his naivety has caught Spencer off guard. He's entranced with the little muffin cupcake shop and his neighbour Jon's coffee shop. What's happened to him? He's being ridiculous! The Christmas-coated town has gone to his head. Spencer's best friend, literary critic Ryan Ross, thinks that the small-town boy has unlocked the city slicker's heart. ...Yeah, this is kind of but not quite that story.

They’re in the cabin having lunch when Ryan stands up one day and announces vaguely, “I feel a little…” Sequel to Oistros

Prom night is a special night in every boy’s life. Right? Spencer’s not too sure.

The boys have a photo shoot, Jon misses his cats, Ryan does not like argyle, Brendon has a green crisis, it’s up to Spencer to save the day. Again.

“God, you messed him up bad, Spence. He’s like a twelve-year-old girl around here today.”

In a world where werewolves, vampires, and humans live together in shaky and relative peace, Spencer finds a boy on the side of the road, naked, bruised and sporting vampire bites. Stopping to save him might just be the dumbest thing Spencer's ever done . . . or the best.

It isn't like Spencer didn't know this was coming. He hasn't been allowed to leave the house without Zack there to chaperone since he was 13. Zack sleeps in what is technically Spencer's bedroom, though there's a half-wall and a screen separating their sleeping areas. When Ryan got to head into town by himself, Spencer had to stay home. All to make sure that his reputation would still be intact when it came time to marry, because all possible roads led straight to an arranged marriage.

Pete sat on the hotel bed and tried to watch Patrick surreptitiously to see if Patrick was maybe surreptitiously watching him back. But he really, really wasn't. Pete knew he looked good – he'd made sure of that in the bathroom mirror before coming out into the room. The white hotel towel made his skin look even darker and his tattoos looked awesome against it all. He was clean and slightly – sexily – wet from the shower. His hair was pushed back (but messily rumpled too) and he smelled amazing. Patrick was straight in the most annoying way.

The third time Spencer comes home to find Brendon sat in the back garden with his feet in the pool, reading a soggy paperback and waiting for him, Spencer gives him a key to the house. "Didn't you get that cut for Haley?" Ryan asks. Spencer just shrugs. "She's not here that often anyway," he says.

College AU. Spencer catches up with his bi-curiousness, Cassie and Brendon are BFFs since kindergarten, Ryan makes people watch French movies and Jon smokes up during work hours.

Brendon has a...condition. With feathers. And Spencer is too nosy for his own good, and also stealthy like a ninja. Except not. And Hans Christien Andersen is a prick who didn't get the details right. Or maybe no one told him. And Jon and Ryan are stoner boyfrands in luuurrrve.

If this is like a thing you two do.

“I think Ryan’s dead,” Brendon said, nodding solemnly. “I’m waiting for Frank to stop by, because I don’t want to be the one who finds his body.”

Spencer had. Spencer had totally thought this far ahead. Spencer had never in a million fucking years expected that Brendon would want both -- would want what Spencer gave him and would want the girl. Spencer figured that, if it ever came down to it, Brendon would go for the girl with both hands and leave Spencer fucking alone and lonely, with nothing and no one except Brendon's dog and Brendon's house in L.A. and Brendon working shoulder to shoulder with him every day on keeping their fucking band together with spit and fish tacos and the goddamn song Brendon's been writing for three years with the fucking Rimsey-Korsakov descending major thirds in the bridge.

Sixteen-year-old Brendon Urie has just been uprooted from everything he knows and sent to Bishop Gorman High School in an attempt to remove him from the bad influences at his public school. Seventeen-year-old Ryan Ross is a senior with no real idea of what he wants to do with his life other than get the hell out of Las Vegas. The two have nothing in common but when Ryan accidentally stumbles upon Brendon's most shameful secret, one that could ruin his life forever, they're inextricably drawn together and they have to make a decision: fight the inevitable or accept that they are more to each other than just two ships passing in the night.

Spencer wishes he remembered the actual getting married part of marrying Brendon.

"Hey, baby girl," Brendon says, softly. He thinks he should have thought of something more profound to welcome his daughter in to the world.

Spencer had barely even heard of rugby when he tried out for the team. It was just a way of killing time until Ryan was done with his stupid school magazine. Helping Ryan sift through the lame emo poetry submissions was only funny the first few times. But their west-coast prep school doesn't play soccer or football, so the rugby team turns out to be the coolest thing around, and suddenly Spencer's the school's most popular player. Then Spencer meets Brendon, and everything changes.

ut, Brendon is Brendon, and so he says, "Sweetpea? Love of my life?" and Spencer's grinning all of a sudden, laughing, and he thinks, okay, this is okay. [Accidental marriage!fic]

In which Spencer meets a girl at a club, who turns out to not be a girl after all

Brendon is a governess with a disgraced past (dallying with a stable boy!), who comes to teach the young cousins of Sir Spencer Smith. Sir Spencer is amused by this bouncy young man, whose enthusiasm is both strange and strangely appealing, but who manages to hide questions about his past with unexpected smoothness. Consequently, Sir Spencer finds himself paying far to much attention to Mr Boyd’s secretive manner as well as to the way he fills his regrettably old and worn clothes (his breeches being far too tight and not quite fitting right). Furthermore, Sir Spencer's oldest friend, the dissolute Lord Ross, is trying to woo, unsuccessfully, his estate manager Mr Walker. despite the tumultuous passion between them, Mr Walker refuses to give in to Lord Ross's advances as long as Lord Ross refuses to admit that it is more than a tumble in the hey that he wants from Mr Walker. Fortunately, Walker is a patient man and willing to wait while Ross goes through his tantrums.

Brendon gets kicked out of his house for being gay. He doesn't want the other members of the band to know so he hides it. He gets his own apartment, but has to work to afford it hobviously, and between work, school, not eating enough, the band and lol mental stress of being in love with Spencer and lying to his best friends, he gets sick and all is revealed. Spencer's family are horrified and let Brendon stay with them. bonus points for child abuse, too. why not?

Jerkoff Porn.

Brendon Urie's a master's student in music at UNLV who happens to make porn on the side. Spencer Smith's a wilderness photographer who happens to really, really like the online porn Brendon makes. They meet and shenanigans ensue. Also featuring Shane Valdes as Brendon's roommate and owner of his very own online porn site, William Beckett as Las Vegas' bitchiest maitre 'd, Gabe Saporta as a mime waiter, Greta Salpeter as a harried and overworked assistant, and Ryan Ross as himself.

Brendon and Spencer go on a cruise to escape their problems. They end up finding more than rest and relaxation.

How had he managed to get this far in life without realizing exactly what it was that turned him on?

All of a sudden I want a fic where Brendon has a sims obsession and then Spencer catches him playing it one day and he's made a little Brendon sim and a little Spencer sim and he makes them woo-hoo all the time and they are so in love.

Maybe Pete didn’t always know, or maybe he had, but when Brendon first told him, he hadn’t acted surprised and he didn’t treat Brendon any differently. He still blew on his face with morning breath before Brendon had had a chance to wake up, and still poked the bottoms of his feet when he fell asleep watching a movie. He still pinched him and gave him beer when Patrick wasn’t looking. He did ask what Brendon’s parents had named him. Brendon had stared at his hands and said, “Brenda, actually. Lame, I know. But it was easier than picking something totally new.”

In which Spencer is thoroughly bored of his princely duties, and Brendon is brave and true.

"You never said you could dance," Shane says again, flicking through the photo albums. "Is this spandex?"

"Say that again," Brendon says. "The part about how I think you want me to be your pretend gay boyfriend to your elementary school teacher's retirement party. I think you're kind of crazy. Did you call Ryan?"

Such a delicate boy. Such a hysterical world.

It's eleven o'clock on a school night and Spencer is starting to worry that she's somehow got her hand stuck in Brendon's bra.

"You are," Harry tells them wearily, "without a doubt the worst pair of Aurors in the history of the entire Auror corps."

Does what it says on the tin. Five times in Spencer's life that he tells someone he likes guys.

Brendon is a werewolf, a creature who can turn himself into canine form at will. Spencer is just a lonely guy trying to make it in LA. They come together when Brendon abandons his pack and finds a place to start a new life just when Spencer decides to start living his again after a painful loss.

Professional dominant Spencer Smith has great friends, engaging hobbies, and the best job in the world. The fact that his appetite for kink seems to be waning in both his professional and personal life doesn't worry him. Spencer's pretty sure his dating mojo will recover when he meets the right sub for him, and his clients are still pleased with his whip-wielding. Of course, that's before dance instructor Brendon Urie waltzes into Spencer's life. Spencer just can't seem to stay away from him, even though they're incompatible on paper. Spencer can't even remember the last time he subbed for anyone, and he's not sure he's the switch Brendon thinks he could be. As Brendon takes the lead, can Spencer learn to follow--or will they just keep stepping on each other's feet?

“This is about to become a BDSM video, really fast,” Spencer warns.

“You have no idea what you’re doing, okay?” Ryan says in exasperation, blowing out a huffy breath. “I’m just saying. I think…I might know a guy."

“You have no idea what you’re doing, okay?” Ryan says in exasperation, blowing out a huffy breath. “I’m just saying. I think…I might know a guy."

Stripper Bden Au (not fic)

Unorthodox Methods: "AU from original premise of SPN – Sam goes to law school and eventually joins the FBI, where he gets assigned as Peter’s probie, and the New York FBI office staff are amused, and eventually, slightly traumatized." pockets full of stones: "This is a trick." my favorite view: "The one where Jon is a fetish photographer." It Is Written (aka The Brave Knight Saves the Handsome Prince From a Fate Moste Untenable): "Fairy-tale AU, wherein Kris is a knight, and Adam is... a unicorn." How Becky Totally Saved the World Without Becoming a Mary Sue or: PLEASE R&R OR I'LL NEVER WRITE: "The upside of living with a prophet was the fanfic. And the forewarning of the apocalypse. But, mostly the fic." A Sam Adams Moment: "The clutch of seven ZPMs they find on Dedahr's rocky third moon results, in rough chronological order, in a brief fainting fit on Rodney's part; a message back to Atlantis that creates near hysteria amongst its scientists and startles a truly blasphemous exclamation in Czech out of Zelenka; a fully-powered city whose midnight glow is refracted through its shields; five destroyed hive ships and one very raucous, ruus-wine fuelled celebration; wormhole travel back to Earth, which is soon protected once more by the Ancient weapons platform in Antarctica; and the IOC declaring that the expedition's brief can be expanded from defence to broader exploration."

As good as you get: "The problem was, really, Kris Allen was a tease." If You Can't See Where It Keeps Its Brain: "The Sorting Hat has its own agenda." I Woke Up In Love This Morning: He was hazy, half-asleep and incredibly comfortable and still half-lost in the most amazing dream. Five Reasons Xander Harris Hates Pete Wentz: If the Bandom'verse and the Buffy'verse all occupied the same 'verse, this is exactly what would have happened. red, red, gold: "Her name is Tasha Stark, and you won’t break her."

Saving And Being Saved: "Five boys and Battle School. Nobody is satisfied, but one can imagine Graff doesn't care." Fangs Up: "Someone finally takes notice of the fact that Gabe Saporta says he spoke to a snake." One Man Band: "It takes Spencer a while to figure it out, but he doesn't let it change how he behaves when he does." Patrick Stump's Strip Joint, or The One Where They're All Strippers Apart From Patrick Who Has Taken Up Handicrafts (Not Like That): "The one where they're all (pretty terrible) strippers, Patrick owns the strip joint, and his therapist has suggested he take up a hobby."

Spencer had barely even heard of rugby when he tried out for the team. It was just a way of killing time until Ryan was done with his stupid school magazine. Helping Ryan sift through the lame emo poetry submissions was only funny the first few times. But their west-coast prep school doesn't play soccer or football, so the rugby team turns out to be the coolest thing around, and suddenly Spencer's the school's most popular player. Then Spencer meets Brendon, and everything changes. High school rugby AU. 2 versions of this Podfic.

Brendon's twitter typo outs his marriage to the world, and he doesn't know what to do next.

Written for reni_days‘s prompt on the bandom pretend dating festival: spencer has invented an imaginary boyfriend for some longstanding work-related (or other) purpose. his friends (including brendon) all know about the epic story of his pretend romance, and think it is hilarious. eventually, spencer runs into the work people while out with his friends (including brendon) and it turns out that, unbeknownst to him, brendon has been spencer's imaginary boyfriend all along.