Harry returns from vacation with an unfortunate case of vampirism and must learn to cope with blood, Malfoy, and recalcitrant secretaries. And if that doesn't tell you everything about the plot you need to know, you haven't read enough badfic. H/D, R.

Kris was the Master Vampire of the West Coast. If it happened in LA then Kris knew about it. Everything except how Adam Lambert, former Master's Pet to Simon Cowell, not only made his way to LA, but why just being in Adam's presence drives Kris nuts. Kris was never one to back down from a challenge though.

John Sheppard never thought he’d end up living in another galaxy, and he’d never thought that he would ever get bitten by a vampire and turned. But both happen, and while he is happy with the first, he’s struggling with the second and all its repercussions: a bad sun allergy, a weird diet, and pointy teeth.

Getting bitten by a werewolf is bad enough, but it gets worse when living on a planet with five moons.

Dabi narrows his eyes. "Alright. Let's say you don't die. You still have a limited amount of blood, and a lack of blood flow or oxygen to your brain could probably cause permanent damage that even your immortality can't repair." "I'll stop you before that happens," Hawks says, with way more confidence than he has any right to have. "You have zero self-preservation instincts," Dabi has to point out. Hawks grins at him, shooting him finger guns. "So we doing this, or what?" ~ Dabi is a vampire who's never had human blood straight from the tap before. Hawks is a dumbass college student cursed with immortality. What could go wrong?