When Roy Mustang, an egotistical man-whore, and Ed Elric, a temperamental teen, are set up on a blind date by well-meaning friends, anything can happen.

Sequel to Mr Elric. It's obvious now that the community of Hogwarts wants a piece of Mr Elric, be it knowledge or attention. Ed's privacy is further invaded when forces beyond his control insist on contact with The Boy Who Lived.

Edward Elric from various points of view.

The Stone has many names and many forms, and they seek it in many ways....

The morning after. Al gets answers, Ed gets suspicious, and Roy gets busy.

They say the third time's the charm...

When out on a routine investigation, Ed and Al run into what appears to be a bizarre manipulation of the Philosopher's Stone, resulting in a rash of... the living dead? RoyLiza, WinrySchieska, and Elricest.

Two years after retrieving his brother's body from the Gate of Truth Edward Elric is still paying the price. Will his debt ever be repaid, or will it finally cost him everything? Alternate Timeline. Roy/Ed. Complete

Ed's scowl deepens. "Want us to leave and come back when we aren't virgins anymore?"

Suppose the series ended with Al restored, but not Ed, and Bradley still in power. Divergent Future, spoilers through ep 18. Roy takes Ed back under his wing and teaches him to be even more formidable. Drama and domesticity ensue, as Ed and Roy deal with politics and relationships and wind up being unspeakably adorable in their own way.

“The problem is that they expect you. And I would prefer you didn’t destroy half the city getting in.”

"You can't do that! This is a shounen series!" he hissed.

"Just talking and showing won't help much. He needs to try things before he can get them right."

Rebecca was getting bored with Central.

So. In response to the question, "What would it look like if Edward Elric were as crazy as Allen Walker?" I said, well. CLEARLY I MUST WRITE THAT FIC.

On some level, Roy knew that marriage would be a good career move.

Jean had gone to pick up the boss. He hadn’t anticipated any problems; the boss, despite everything, was pretty easy to get along with, and at this time of day, traffic wouldn’t even be bad. He hadn’t remembered the girlfriend until it was too late.

The Full Metal Alchemist, of course, accepted his assignment with all the gravity due his station.

"Just who're you calling..." Edward's voice stuttered to a halt as he saw where the man was pointing. "...short?"

Ed would find rescuing Roy a lot easier if Roy would stop trying to put his hands down his trousers.

Reeling from his own setback, Roy takes the time to advise a strange golden-eyed kid in a bar...

Fifty one-sentence chunks of an Avatar/FMA crossover. Basic idea is that after some implied (non-canon) craziness in Amestris, Ed and restored!Al find themselves lost in a desert, under stars they don't recognize and with only the vaguest memories of how they got there.

Fullmetal was starting to turn slightly purple, now, which definitely clashed with his coloring...

Endorphins then, that's what he's been missing.

Ed did precisely that, yanking down his shirt and attempting to close his jacket around what was a quite fine, if a bit incongruent, pair of breasts.

Of course, the jar was really the professional female companionship fund; or, as Ed liked to sarcastically call it, the pussy kitty.

As far as Edward was concerned it could just take for-damn-ever if it wanted because that’s how long he could go without taking to the Bastard.

Fixing Al.

You can always tell it’s Sunday by the yelling from the Elric house.

On a less horrible note! This is one of the promised FMA/DGM crossovers—some DGM characters flung randomly into FMA-verse. *eyes fic dubiously* So the world of Fullmetal Alchemist is pretty sane, balanced, and logical. Sure, things are bad sometimes, things are complicated sometimes, but they make sense. And are usually, I don’t know, indefinably wholesome. DGM, meanwhile, is such a sick, twisted, chaotic crazy-factory that there are no words. Fitting them together: fun times. Also, Ed and Allen in the same room, BEST THING EVER. XD

Slinking closer, Roy took a deep breath and then another.

You got respect when you were the Flame Alchemist, but it was nothing compared to a man with claws and the will to use them.

Roy looked down at his coffee, but he'd stopped letting Hawkeye make it, so he couldn't blame it on that.

The sheer naughtiness of it all was unexpectedly exciting, and she found herself trembling even before the cold steel met her skin.