Fred and George open their joke shop but with another shop underground, a sex toyshop.

Ron walked back into the room, carrying a basket filled with ripe, glistening fruits, quite different from Mrs. Weasley's biscuits and candies. "There's even a note. 'I do hope we can put all this behind us. -- V'"

Inspired by the "Desolation Row" video. Basically my first thought (once I was able to THINK again, that is) after watching it was...'there needs to be fic where Bob is in handcuffs and blows the other four guys in turn.' So then I told everybody (because I *am* that stupid) that I was gonna write it blah blah so I would have no choice BUT to write it. That's the only way I get things done, it seems.

A new prophecy sends Anita Blake and crew to Sunnydale

Written for the big Bottom!Jon Meme. "It was different with Tom and Mike."

He doesn't know how to tell them that he doesn't want to be one of the men, standing and jeering -- he wants to take the place of the girl, quietly kneeling, eyes closed and face upraised.

response to the Star Trek XI Kink Meme that got away from me. Original prompt: Kirk/Spock/Uhura - bondage, with Spock being the one restrained. Bonus if Spock has to watch Kirk/Uhura first.

Kirk/Spock/Uhura. Kirk has a nasty but pretty mouth. Spock and Uhura decide to put it to better use. Bonus points for pegging. Or double penetration involving pegging and actual cock.

Severus knows something strange is happening and he thinks there is a new Dark Lord, but things are stranger than he could ever have imagined.

Four members of the Black family who come out and one who doesn’t.

So, she's been working on the whole attitude thing for about eight months now and it still doesn't work for her. The sequel to Here There Be Dragons.

"Do you have any idea what this means?" "Ummm...no?" Puck took pity on Finn's apparent lack of a working brain this early in the morning. "Kurt.....is fucking around....on both of us."

For reasons unknown to most, Draco Malfoy came to Hogwarts soon after the battle and for five years had never left its premises. Auror Harry Potter comes to Hogwarts to deal with his psychological daemons, but soon realises Professor Draco Malfoy has his own magical and physical daemons to deal with. However, much to Harry's surprise, Draco is coping well with help from the person Harry aspires to be.

Futurefic in which Bob and Brian have a long-term, committed relationship (with lots of smoking-hot BSDM play), and occasionally find a third. This starts out light and sweet and funny, full of banter and utterly adorable (Bob + Way baby = insane levels of cute), and slides right into something incredibly, intensely, amazingly hot. Lovely voices, nice little details, impressively realistic BDSM... Gorgeous.

Merlin has two pretty toys to play with.

Patrick loves the tentacle beds. Bob is not so sure.

There's a place in Neal Caffrey's head where he doesn't have to lie to himself or be three steps ahead of the other guy, but so far only Peter has found it -- and Peter won't give him what he really wants. Elizabeth, meanwhile, is slowly adjusting to the idea of abetting felons...

"I'm sure you're not going to care, it's very weak of me," Haru tells Sasuke, almost casual. "I'm in love with you. It's not hero-worship. It's not a phase. I am not confused." Silence. Sasuke's expression doesn't change at all. Haru knows better than to think he didn't hear, or misunderstood. He probably suspected it a while ago. But it's alright (it's not, it hurts.) This isn't the reason Haru brought them both here.

Sometimes something messy, but really great, can start with a shower. Maybe they all deserved something a little messy after the year they'd had. Scrapping an album, losing a drummer, embracing art as the weapon, and all of them going back on tour and loving it again probably didn't hurt either-starting back on the world tour in Japan and the excitement of it could also be to blame. But really, it was all Frank's fault.

Rodney and John have been in a relationship for years, despite all the difficulties that arise when two subs with no dominant tendencies try to have a relationship. When Jennifer Keller arrives on Atlantis, the two of them decide that things are going to change.

Smutty, kinky, threesome slash.

Tony wants to see Steve break a sweat; it just takes one hell of a workout.

How to build a database to get the right person or people for every kinky contingency. One such task is suggested; readers are encouraged to submit more.

After the events of The Avengers movie, Bruce Banner moves into the new Stark-Potts tower in downtown Manhattan. Then things take a turn for the sexy/awesome/kinky. Tony/Pepper/Bruce. Not exactly PWP, but very smut-heavy as it goes along.

Ronon watches over Bruce and Logan because Sheppard asks him to do so. Bruce and Tony like having Ronon around. Smut ensues, lots of slashy smut.

Karkat can feel the press of John’s arousal against one of his arms. His fingers twitch and reach helplessly, but his limbs are pushed as far as they can go. John chuckles against his shoulder, aware of Karkat’s efforts, and noses against the troll’s ear, warm breaths ghosting against sensitive flesh. “You’re so, well, eager like this, Karkat!”

“Yes, ma'am, please,” he says. It makes his dick harder, to beg for it, to address her like that, like a superior.

Geno had arrived in Pittsburgh looking every minute of the nineteen hour flight from Helsinki, plus however long he’d been in transit between there and his run from the KHL. Sid had been standing next to Mario, watching the new arrival expectantly, even though he didn’t think Geno was a threat. The other wolf had spent too much time negotiating on his own behalf to be allowed into another pack’s territory, and even more to be allowed to play with the team. But all the same, new wolves made Sidney antsy.

You try to dress nice. How do you dress nice for a sex club? You have no fucking idea. But you've got the greaser cool guy look down pretty good, and you think it works for you. You wear your tightest t-shirt. You spend like fifteen minutes in front of the bedroom mirror trying to decide which pair of jeans is the most flattering for your glutes. This is your chance.

"Do you want me to go down on you?" Abed asks, one afternoon, when they're watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

"Do you want me to go down on you?" Abed asks, one afternoon, when they're watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.

Eliot's their hitter, and taking on any physical threats to the team is his job, but there's something beyond professionalism – even beyond the obvious fact that Eliot relishes the fight itself – in the way he puts his body between Parker or Alec and any potential threat. Alec has a good view of Eliot's back on a lot of jobs, and he reads something in the tight line of Eliot's shoulder, in the slow turn of his foot as he steps into a fighting stance. Something possessive. Series

A wicked smile slowly spreads across Kent’s face, and he turns to Jack. “What do you say, should I show your boy how to make you cry?”

Cullen struggles with his lyrium addiction. Some days are better than others. Or (if you prefer a silly summary for a not-so-silly fic): In which Cullen is suicidally depressed, Dorian is a high-functioning alcoholic, and Bull just wants them both to be happy, except when he wants to crack their heads together for being emotionally stunted idiots.

Gaara calls the shots; Lee gets the attention; but Sakura inevitably gets what she wants.

A wicked smile slowly spreads across Kent’s face, and he turns to Jack. “What do you say, should I show your boy how to make you cry?”

This fic goes canon divergent for everything following Mary acting as a client in His Last Vow. Sherlock misses John. John misses Sherlock. Victor Trevor, Sherlock's oldest friend (and a super nice guy in this version) and participant in the 'great sexual experiment of '98' shows up to cuddle the hell out of a touch-starved Sherlock, get him talking, and get those two idiots back together. He'll work on Mary later. One fucked-up couple at a time is all he can handle.

They'd never talked about sex in the year they'd known each other. Well, that wasn't quite correct: Sherlock had never said a word about sex; John had bemoaned his personal dearth of it on many occasions.

In which Karkat is very well taken care of.

Care and fucking of your lispy bipolar nerd.

So this story is about the time I fucked up— [ONE of the times you fucked up] —and pissed off Shiklah, my wife. She decided to punish me with the help of a couple of her henchdemons, and kinky fun was had by all.

One might think that after spending six years serving as a Galaxy Garrison senior officer, leading dozens of dangerous missions into enemy territory, personally overseeing the deaths of Zarkon’s highest generals, and getting his arm blown off only to be replaced by a weaponized prosthetic against his will, Shiro would be prepared for anything the Universe threw at him. He was not prepared for Keith and Lance.

Short fics originally posted to my Tumblr, edited and collected here.

Mingjue’s thumbs stroke gently against the wings of his shoulders as he leans in, setting his mouth to Jiang Cheng’s ear. “Qingqing wants this, too. All three of us. You, me, her.” A shudder runs down Jiang Cheng’s spine; he’s dizzy, breath coming too fast, and he’s shamefully hard just from this, his erection trapped against the edge of the sink. “Would you like that, Cheng-di? It’s fine if you don’t, but if you do –” “Yes.” The word rasps out of him, echo-y and desperate. “I want that.”

Kaner walks in on his two best friends and for some reason he decides not to walk back out. Starring: possible actual sex god Patrick Sharp, Captain Seriously into being tied up, and a Kaner who never says no (just like the real thing!)

Jon, Robb and Theon all have a lot in common. But they have their differences too. (Or, that fic where they're all hopeless bottoms, but in very different ways.)

Isabela is the last person Cullen expected to see in Skyhold, but since she's here, they might as well get re-acquainted.

Tim and Cass (and to a lesser extent, Steph) share everything. That’s just a fact. Clothes, safe houses, gear, food, showers, toothbrushes— —and sexual partners.