Tony Stark has once again engineered something that might well lead to the downfall of Western Civilization. No one's really surprised. This time, however, it might just be the lesser of two evils.

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

Tony Stark has once again engineered something that might well lead to the downfall of Western Civilization. No one's really surprised. This time, however, it might just be the lesser of two evils. Clint and Phil hate playing pickup, but damn, Clint loves the Roombas, and damn, Phil loves Clint, though he's not really sure why sometimes. It's time to play Hide-And-Seek with hostile robotic AIs in the SHIELD home office.

Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

"I'm sure we'll make a lovely couple," Clint said, and forced a smile. "Honey."

When they first told Clint, he had no reaction other than a soft 'Oh,' and a quiet nod. My fix-fic for the movie. Obviously, large and detailed spoilers are contained.

Short stories from the Toasterverse, because the author gets panicky writing long form stories built around plot and has to finish something in order to function. Phil has problems with these people. So does the Author.

Phil Coulson has spent half his life working toward the Stanley Cup. The Malibu Avengers might finally be the team to take him there.

One of the earliest truths learned by the children of heroes is the simple, universally accepted fact that Thor tells the best stories.

Phil Coulson wakes up in a hospital bed. Well, damn.

By Phil’s count, this is his third attempt at bringing the Avengers together, although he will admit his participation in the second attempt was more symbolic than anything else. He hadn’t expected Stark to be the easiest sell, or Barton to be the most problematic, but things have changed since he’s been away. [Movie spoilers.]

They debriefed at Stark Towers. That should have been his first clue.

Sometimes Tony Stark makes poor choices. Sometimes Tony pushes his teasing of Steve Rogers just a little too far. Sometimes Steve decides he's had enough. Phil Coulson's the one who's got to write this nonsense up, and he does not bake.

Clint and Coulson become sparring partners when it's clear Clint needs a new challenge. Clint is not prepared for the results.

The Avengers are now a team (sort of), but they're still lost creatures. Set after the movie; contains spoilers.

[SPOILERS] The shadows of night managed to hide a lot of the destruction, but the scars were still there. Steve knew those scars would be there for a long time to come. They weren’t the only scars that would take time to heal. Everyone grieves differently. What is surprisingly similar, however, are the curses when the Avengers find out the one they’re grieving for isn’t actually dead.

In which Clint takes a leap of faith in more ways than one.

Written for Cthonical, who was having a bit of a day yesterday. She asked for Guns and adrenaline-fueled post-danger fucking, possibly with a little blood and not waiting to get to a room.

Around about the time Phillipa Jane told her middle-school teacher that Phil wasn’t a nickname, it was her name and not a difficult one to remember, she picked up a reputation. That hasn’t really gone away. [Always-female!Coulson/Clint]

Eighteen-year-old Tony Stark is the boy genius who woke Captain America, and now he's stuck with him. That's not a bad thing, but between Steve's wide-eyed wonder at the new world and Tony's little fanboy crush, the awkwardness just keeps happening.

When he was younger, Clint wished really hard for someone. They could be on the road to anywhere and they invariably are. Clint's fingers rest on Coulson's and, like the trapeze or the bowstring, he has learned the value of grip and he doesn't leave bloody fingerprints anymore.

Steve Rogers is no stranger to the silver screen.

Steve Rogers is the new hire at the Stan Lee Marvel University’s History department.

He shoots Clint Barton in the thigh in an alleyway in Alphabet City, too close to District X for comfort. He uses his tie as a tourniquet and helps Barton to his feet and wonders if Barton always talks this much.

Clint moves into Avengers Tower, and promptly takes up residence in the air ducts, including the one above Bruce's lab. It soon becomes clear that this isn't just a cracky, quirky behavior.

Clint is really bad at being single. Fury hands Coulson a mission: Find Clint Barton a boyfriend.

The most popular rumor in SHIELD was that Agent Phil Coulson was created in a lab. The rumor was unproven. It was also true.

In which Phil Coulson prepares to take on the entire universe, plays dead, has a series of tiny adventures with Clint Barton, and solves a problem of his own making.

After what Clint did while under Loki’s control – and he remembers every detail, every decision, every twitch of muscle – Clint burns with self-loathing. He never counted on Natasha’s unwavering, unconditional support, nor did he imagine that he’d ever have someone who cared enough to fight Clint himself for his forgiveness.

Sometimes, you really can go home again.

Antonia Carter Stark takes no shit and no prisoners.

The future may be different, with electric lights and telegrams, but the world still needs the Avatar. The Avengers set in the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender. I really can't be more direct than that.

There was always a chance the mission would go wrong.

“It's a contingency plan in case of accidental teenagering,” says Stark.

Everyone in their life has had a little case of hero worship. A tiny crush on a celebrity. A teenage infatuation. Dummy Stark-Rogers is not any different. And the Mars Rover Curiosity is a stunning piece of tech.

Companion Pieces to "In Which Tony Stark Builds Himself Some Friends (But His Family was Assigned by Nick Fury)" Sometimes I write foolish things (disclaimer: I always write foolish things) and sometimes there are lines, or actions, or interactions that only make sense to me. Because I have reasons for almost everything. And some part of me is waiting for someone to ask me about the bizarre little things I put in my stories. Occasionally, someone is dumb enough to do just that, and then I babble at them on my Tumblr (http://scifigrl47.tumblr.com). I BABBLE SO MUCH. This is a compilation of all the short stories of why characters react the way they do in my stories. Some are drabbles, some are character studies, some are short stories. Some are edited, some are stream of consciousness. All are foolishness. I like it that way. And I love answering questions. 8)

Because Loki is a contrary asshole, he gifts Clint Barton with wings, of all things, during battle. The wings in and of themselves are one thing, but the way they react to Phil is another.

Tony's life is almost perfect. He lives in a converted warehouse full of friends (and one frenemy), has a job that leaves him plenty of time to think about other things and a regular Friday night campaign. If his best friend, Steve Rogers, hadn't moved away to New York and left him behind, then perfection would've been achieved. Tony can roll with the punches though and he's almost all the way over that little bump in the road (shut up Bruce, he totally is) when Steve moves back, looking taller and broader and more confident than ever and Tony's left with a converted warehouse full of friends (and one frenemy), a job that leaves him plenty of time to think about other things, a regular Friday night campaign and the uncomfortable realization that maybe he's in love with his best friend and has been since he was sixteen.

When he takes the rap for a crime committed by Barney and the Swordsman, Clint is charged as an adult at 17 and spends the next four years of his life without protection in prison. Enter one Neal Caffrey, who knows how to charm his way to whatever he wants or needs, and Clint's life gets a lot more interesting. Pretty much, the story of Clint in prison, Clint getting out, and Clint, like always, finding his way to SHIELD, and Phil.

"Tony Stark sometimes doesn't make the best choices with his health. Tony is usually bad at communicating. Steve usually doesn't end up in medical, but there are always exceptions. "Phil Coulson is the one who has to write up this nonsense, and he can't keep the Avengers out of medical."

Clint feeds Coulson. Domestic as hell.

Sometimes normal people have interactions with the Avengers that are more than just running, screaming, or getting rescued. When that happens, SHIELD has paperwork. Phil Coulson is very familiar with that paperwork. SHIELD has very, very strange employment interviews that occasionally involve flying Roombas, and Phil Coulson is not a SHIELD recruiter

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

Clint wants to give his kid the world. Isobel's not complicated; she'll settle for a couple of superheroes and a train set.

From the Avengers Kink Meme: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/11065.html?thread=24876857#t24876857 "So Clint is Phil's sub. And he's stubborn and insolent and gets in trouble fairly often. He's always implying that he and Phil are really hardcore, and after a rough patch where he gets punished a lot, his friends start to worry for his safety. In fact, Clint is the gooiest, subbiest sub that ever subbed with Phil, who is incredibly gentle with him and heavy on the pampering and praise. Clint basically lives to be petted and told what a good boy he is, and his punishments are things like timeouts and very light spankings with Phil calmly telling him how disappointed he is in him, which is enough to bring Clint to sobbing contrition. So I guess there's some voyeurism or something, I just want this dynamic and the world at large seeing a radically different one. All the bonus points for some compare/contrast with Pepper and Natasha who are outwardly nearly vanilla when in fact they do crazy edgeplay and heavy pain and just don't tell anyone about it."

When Clint Barton put on the Captain America costume for a mission, he didn't count on Phil Coulson's reaction. Coulson didn't count on Clint crashing his new team to do something about it.

Even when Phil Coulson was doing something ridiculously, embarrassingly, crushingly human, he was still a flawless, seamless black box of a spook.

Harvey Specter wasn't the rich renegade badass that plucked Mike from his potential life of crime. Tony Stark was.

Clint is an omega who isn't interested in mating. Ever. That doesn't mean he wouldn't like a romantic partner, though. Unfortunately, he's never found anyone who was okay with the whole lack of interest thing... but there might be hope yet.

He pulls his phone from his pocket and takes a picture of the pathetic level of coffee. You're so mean. Is the caption Clint sends along with it.