There’s a small child in Tony Stark’s lab. Tony looks at it. It looks at him.

One of the earliest truths learned by the children of heroes is the simple, universally accepted fact that Thor tells the best stories.

Phil Coulson, kindergarten teacher at S. L. Shields Elementary School, a wealthy, upper-middle class suburb has just gotten his new class of students. Like every class he has, they have their ups and downs, and life is never dull. Phil does his best to give all his kids a good foundation, and help out those who need a little extra from him. And if things sometimes get a little crazy, well, he's used to that.

"Okay. So. Kids. It can't be too hard, right? People dumber than us raise kids all the time. Not much to them. Just feed them, water them, distract them with shiny things and make sure they aren't unsupervised for too long. Speaking of which, how long has tiny-spawn been alone in your kitchen?" Steve and Tony (and The Avengers!) from the movie!cast + child!Peter Parker with a very AU backstory involving genetic experimentation aboard an abandoned space station (but that doesn't--strangely enough--feature all that heavily).

Tony offers Bruce something he hasn't had in a long time and then slowly includes the rest of the Avengers.

Fury temples his fingers together. “Tell me how this started?” Phil tries to give a reasonable report of today's incident. As he spent most of his day trying to keep grade-school aged versions of his team away from a team of gunmen, he has only limited success.

Tony Stark has faced kidnappers before. He may only be four years old, but his new friends are strong and brave, and together they can take on any monster…even the ones that come from within. And oddly enough, this is not an AU. Coulson probably wishes it were.

It's Go Time!

Despite all appearances, Loki was quite good with children. Mostly his own, but other children too. Even if their parents disapproved. Crack one-shot, Avenger!Loki/Norse!Loki, no pairings. Complete.

Inspired by Chapter 3 of TheGreatSporkWielder's "Waking Up in Vegas" where Darcy and Bruce promised to make JARVIS godfather of their first child. Margaret Rebecca Banner had a mystery to solve.

When he was younger, Clint wished really hard for someone. They could be on the road to anywhere and they invariably are. Clint's fingers rest on Coulson's and, like the trapeze or the bowstring, he has learned the value of grip and he doesn't leave bloody fingerprints anymore.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re not my father.”

Tony Stark finds himself as a de-aged Loki Odinsson's temporarily designated parental figure, through no fault of his own. Responsible superhero co-parenting doesn't just involve feeding, housing and clothing a tiny Asgardian, it involves rubber ducks, transdimensional vortexes at bathtime, fruit parties, pictures of robots that draw other robots and hoverboards (eventually), as the team keep Loki safe while they look for a solution.

When the Avengers raid a very dubious scientific installation, they come across something they'd never expected to find. Their discovery turns out to be even more surprising than first suspected, and it leads the team - especially Steve and Tony - to some new and very undiscovered territory.

“It's a contingency plan in case of accidental teenagering,” says Stark.

Five times the Avengers pawned kids off on the Jean Grey School.

Clint wants to give his kid the world. Isobel's not complicated; she'll settle for a couple of superheroes and a train set.

Weird and comfortable aren't mutually exclusive; Steve Rogers is going to do exactly what he wants this Christmas.

Every year I do a post of all the bits of fic I couldn't find a place for. Some stand alone pretty well; most are just starts I don't have the interest or energy to finish.

One rainy afternoon Tony gets home to find a wet-haired child in an over-sized bathrobe sitting on the penthouse couch, watching cartoons. “Um, what,” says Tony. “Oh, hey,” Harley says, noticing him. “JARVIS showed me where to go. He told me to leave my clothes in the bathroom so they could dry, and said I could borrow one of your bathrobes. You have a really big TV, you know that?”

What it says on the tin. (Including Follow-ups to: Maybe one of these days you can let the light in, and One Of Those Things, and Mrs and Mr Pond..)

Just your every day modern street gang of ragamuffins.