Prompt: Loki is finally captured and sent to Asgard to await his judgement. Since Thor cannot leave Earth -invoke reason x- all the Avengers go to Asgard to make sure Loki doesn't escape. They think Loki is going to end in some Asgardian version of a cell but instead Odin decides on some horrible punishment -fastening a venomous snake over Loki's face, sealing Loki's lips shut, etc- and they are horrified. Tony refuses to let Loki go and basically yells at Odin for being the worst possible father. Cue Loki being confused about why they would defend him and the Avengers realizing how fucked up his childhood might have been.

Tony was pretty sure nothing like this had ever happened to him before.

On the plus side, marriage is bound to be easier than proposing.

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

There’s a small child in Tony Stark’s lab. Tony looks at it. It looks at him.

In which everybody loses their powers, Tony goes a little bit crazy, Natalie: Super PA! makes a reappearance, Clint shows off his super ninja spy skills, Thor fucks off back to Asgard, Steve is a tactical genius, Coulson not-so-secretly loves terrible television shows, nobody should ever be allowed to name anything ever, and there is an evil magical cult.

This is how they piece it together and make it work.

Steve closes his eyes in 1945 and wakes up in 2012. Well. They certainly didn’t put that on the recruiting poster. [Companion to The Minor Fall, the Major Lift.]

Bruce is, at heart, a scientist, even when it comes to people. And Tony, Tony is at heart an engineer. Even when it comes to people. Stand-alone.

Tony, Bruce and JARVIS, and the difference between people, weapons and slaves.

Bruce, JARVIS and Tony, and what power means. Sequel to Vast And Shaking Things. Some movie spoilers.

JARVIS, Tony and Bruce, and the conceptual linkages of trust and fear. Last in the Deus Ex series. JARVIS POV.

Tony, Bruce and JARVIS. Discussing, among other things, AI, ethics, power, trust, fear, and the difference between people, weapons and slaves

The first time Bruce hulks out in the lab, it isn't Tony's fault, but fucked if he's going to let that stop him.

Steve dares to stick his head into the workshop on a Tuesday which had so far been filled only with paperwork, and as soon as he actually comprehends what he's seeing, he kind of just wants to forget the filing and the G-33 forms and just stay down there forever.

Bucky wakes up. Tony takes a liking to him. Steve frowns a lot. Also, there is some Avenging going on. And tech porn.

Steve Rogers is always the groomsman and never the groom. Tony Stark hates feelings and ancient alien prophecies. Or, five weddings Captain America attended, and one he crashed. Not necessarily in that order.

"Do you think this is still a training exercise, or did we just get our asses handed to us by actual bad guys?" asked Clint. Tony, Steve, Clint and Bruce spend quality time together in a cave. Tony does not build another arc reactor (even if he sort of needs one). Steve is all Protective Leader. Clint is terrifyingly good with a knife. Bruce bleeds and snarks. There is banter and embarassing amounts of schmoop and the boys get very touchy-feely.

Darcy was seven the first time she fell in love. The second time Darcy falls in love, she's twenty-five, hung over as all get out, and has a real chance of getting shot, which is actually more alarming than the giant green guy who's holding her hostage

The hi-jinks of The Avengers, their significant others, friends, and SHIELD agents.

"I'm sure we'll make a lovely couple," Clint said, and forced a smile. "Honey."

His power's running low, the arc reactor flickering. Cold, rancid sewer water is rushing into the fissure at his torn up shoulder, filling up the gaps, rising along his neck in frigid fingers. He's been like this before.

When they first told Clint, he had no reaction other than a soft 'Oh,' and a quiet nod. My fix-fic for the movie. Obviously, large and detailed spoilers are contained.

Short stories from the Toasterverse, because the author gets panicky writing long form stories built around plot and has to finish something in order to function. Phil has problems with these people. So does the Author.

Phil Coulson wakes up in a hospital bed. Well, damn.

Coulson figures it out through standard procedure (rumor mill to threatening junior agents to that required weird conversation with one’s boss).

As good as you get: "The problem was, really, Kris Allen was a tease." If You Can't See Where It Keeps Its Brain: "The Sorting Hat has its own agenda." I Woke Up In Love This Morning: He was hazy, half-asleep and incredibly comfortable and still half-lost in the most amazing dream. Five Reasons Xander Harris Hates Pete Wentz: If the Bandom'verse and the Buffy'verse all occupied the same 'verse, this is exactly what would have happened. red, red, gold: "Her name is Tasha Stark, and you won’t break her."

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

After the fighting is over, then come the hot baths, ice packs, resurrection from the dead, political maneuvering, and happy endings (not like that, Tony).

There are clear signs that Bruce has finally started to trust the rest of the team. The team, however, aren't so keen on those signs.

"Okay. So. Kids. It can't be too hard, right? People dumber than us raise kids all the time. Not much to them. Just feed them, water them, distract them with shiny things and make sure they aren't unsupervised for too long. Speaking of which, how long has tiny-spawn been alone in your kitchen?" Steve and Tony (and The Avengers!) from the movie!cast + child!Peter Parker with a very AU backstory involving genetic experimentation aboard an abandoned space station (but that doesn't--strangely enough--feature all that heavily).

So, Captain America effectively manages to cockblock Tony for a year. It's not Steve's fault. Well, actually, it is. But he was just proving a point - that if a superhero is gay, how can it be wrong? Steve just picked the wrong superhero to make the point with. Now America will think they're dating - and Tony's not going to be the guy to break Captain America's heart. There's only one way out. To save face, Steve and Tony have to become fake boyfriends. Steve thinks the "boyfriends" bit will be the hardest to act... but maybe it's the "fake" part that will be the hardest act of all...

"Look I know this is like, prize-winning science fair shit, and I'm sure you're in fucking freak heaven or whatever, but I need you to focus on me for like, two seconds, and reach into the hole in my chest, and fix what's broken." And holy shit is that a metaphor. That is one goddamned beautiful metaphor.

PROMPT: Loki had every intention of wreaking havoc upon Midgard the moment his suicide attempt had failed. Really. He'd planned on setting cities ablaze, smashing buildings, pillaging, all of that good stuff. Too bad he hadn't planned on the place being so FUN. Destroying City Hall? Maybe if he can squeeze it in between ikebana and his Thai cooking classes. Oh, he tries for the whole supervillain thing, but is it really his fault that he really likes going to yoga and hair products that don't require massive amounts of oils that leave him feeling greasy? Is it really his fault that manicures are so damn RELAXING and that those little Asian ladies in the salon are so charmingly adorable? Besides, his therapist says that all the rage is unhealthy. TL;DR Loki gets a therapist and finds Earth hobbies that he enjoys in between bothering his brother and his friends. SUPER BONUS: The Avengers get a petition pleading from the nail salon and his therapist and various instructors for them to please not kill him because he's a considerate customer and is actually a very nice young man.

Phil shouldn’t let it get to him, except that it does.

Steve Rogers is a good man and when he feels he owes an apology, not even exhaustion and double-vision is going to stop him from giving it.

When Tony Stark was seventeen years old, he built his first AI. On that day, he ceased to be his father's creation, and became a creating force in his own right. That one act likely saved his life, and not always in the most obvious ways.

One of the earliest truths learned by the children of heroes is the simple, universally accepted fact that Thor tells the best stories.

PROMPT: I think part of the reason anyone under Loki's control, Clint especially, looked so exhausted is because they were not allowed to sleep. Natasha told Clint it would take time for him to level out but even a couple of months after he hasn't. He hasn't been able to sleep and the rest of the team is starting to notice.

Tony offers Bruce something he hasn't had in a long time and then slowly includes the rest of the Avengers.

Behind the long line of locks, Bruce waits for a chance to escape. Collared, imprisoned, property of the army. Until Lord Mage Anthony Stark ... decides he's not having that. Fantasy AU.

Tony Stark has faced kidnappers before. He may only be four years old, but his new friends are strong and brave, and together they can take on any monster…even the ones that come from within. And oddly enough, this is not an AU. Coulson probably wishes it were.

Fury temples his fingers together. “Tell me how this started?” Phil tries to give a reasonable report of today's incident. As he spent most of his day trying to keep grade-school aged versions of his team away from a team of gunmen, he has only limited success.

The news report seems more interested in the argument between the team during the fight than the way they eventually won. And then it gets worse.

Few people ever see inside Tony Stark; fewer can stomach what they find; next to no one claims to still like him afterwards. So Tony hides, closing all the doors and battening down the hatches, using charm and confidence as armor when he's not in the suit. To Tony's horror, Steve somehow manages to see inside him anyway.

In which Steve is introduced to the grand old tradition of Movie Night.

Tony, Steve, Clint and Bruce spend quality time together in a cave. Tony does not build another arc reactor (even if he sort of needs one). Steve is all Protective Leader. Clint is terrifyingly good with a knife. Bruce bleeds and snarks. There is banter and embarassing amounts of schmoop and the boys get very touchy-feely.

In which Bruce is a badass, the team is surprised, and Tony approves.

The Avengers are now a team (sort of), but they're still lost creatures. Set after the movie; contains spoilers.

Tony is enlisted to help Steve Rogers acclimate to the modern world. Expect humor, friendship, muted drama, and page after page of awkward conversations. As of now, slash if you squint.