In which Steve is introduced to the grand old tradition of Movie Night.

They only need ten rules to ensure (relatively) peaceful cohabitation.

They only need ten rules to ensure (relatively) peaceful cohabitation.

A Small Thing: Halloween: Princess Thor's skirt is the prettiest in all the Realms. Only Fools Rush In: In which Captain America ends up married to Bucky Barnes, with Thor, prince of Asgard and god of thunder, as their witness.

Steve looks after everyone, but no one looks after Steve. No one except Bucky.

Bucky discovers Steve was hiding in the wardrobe.

After a hard shift saving the world, Stark - in his infinite wisdom - has decided to bond with Steve by talking about his favorite subject. Well, third favorite, after building things and smart-mouthing people. Steve is pretty sure none of his experiences really count. Tony is starting to wonder what Steve's definition of "is" is.

It started with a box of women's clothing that the last occupants of their apartment had left behind. Bucky remembered picking up a pair of panties and throwing them at Steve and saying, "Go on, Rogers, these look about your size."

"Things the men of the Howling Commandos are no longer allowed to do in the SSR."

Steve takes in Bucky's betrayed look and Sam's confusion, follows Sam's gaze to the pile of mangled fruit in the trash can. Sudden comprehension fills his face. "Oh," he says. "Bucky found out about bananas." In which an American icon is mourned. But probably not the one you're thinking of.

Today, Peter was honest-to-god going to see Captain America himself up close, in person, and not from a rooftop or tiny crevice like a creepy stalker fanboy. Even better, he was going to watch Steve Rogers make history by soldiering his beleaguered way through the most intensely awkward and honestly ridiculous press conference in the history of ever-- jaw thrust out and spine ramrod straight. Trying hard to be polite and respectful in the face of adversity. While a bunch of assholes with cameras and microphones shouted at him about Iron Man’s adolescent dick.

"The one where American-born, Russian based swimmer Bucky Barnes is Steve Roger's number one rival for Olympic gold. In which Steve and Bucky are good friends despite the media's attempt at rivalry beat up and Steve has a lot of feelings."

Clint had peered at him out of one eye and said, "You know pink's a girl's color." "Not in my day, bub," Bucky said, sliding the tube of the grenade launcher up, chambering the shell, and racking it back down as he stared coolly at Clint. "You know who started that pink is feminine shit? Hitler."

The Seven-Headed Serpent is sent on loan to Hydra. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

Tony’s almost at the door of his lab when he hears it. It’s low, throaty; just a split second of a thing. But it’s undoubtedly the sound of Barnes moaning.

This special anniversary episode of the Avengers Weekly podcast includes news, superhero run-ins, the results of last weeks' online poll, and an interview with a very special guest.

Sam feels really cheated by history now.

Their first date is objectively pretty great. But later, when Bucky comes after Steve slides inside him and slaps him on the ass, Steve knows this is going to be fun.

Tentacle Gods: do not mix with Hydra.

While the Asset is in the middle of an experimentation session with the Chem Sci department, an emergency happens in another lab. One of the other experimental creatures escaped its containment cell and the Asset is ordered to go take care of it. He's hosed off, plugged up, geared up, and sent upstairs post-haste to deal with the problem. Unfortunately, the Asset is still flush with drugs that make him incredibly aroused. When the escaped creature notices, he takes an interest. Much to the Asset's delight.

Steve is a shy comic book artist and meets his new neighbour, Bucky Barnes. In which there are awkward longings, meddling best friends, comic conventions, heartache, lemons, video games, dorkiness, dancing and two cute boys.

In which Steve is the proud owner of Frost; a semi famous local bakery in D.C. And despite the overwhelming insistence that it’s about time he start dating, Steve swears up and down he isn’t ready for that. Or as of recently, just doesn’t have the time because of Mr. Barnes. The highly demanding wedding planner on the phone who keeps asking for nearly impossible deliveries and maybe Steve would like to personally strangle him. Maybe

Adjusting to civilian life is hard for any military veteran — especially for one ex-sniper with a cybernetic arm, a classic Harley, and friends who keep trying to ‘help.’ When Sam Wilson at the VA sends Sergeant Barnes to rent a room from the hottest guy in the DC area, Bucky thinks maybe civilian life is worth it after all. And then he finds out Captain Rogers is everything Bucky’s not: a real hero, a Medal of Honor recipient, and an all-around nice guy. Bucky doesn’t have a chance in hell with him. Sam was a huge help to Steve Rogers when he left the military. In the spirit of ‘pay it forward,’ Steve decides to rent out his basement room to a vet in need. But when Sergeant Barnes shows up on his doorstep, he knows he’s in for a world of trouble. Barnes is exactly what Steve never knew he wanted, from his bedroom eyes to his wicked innuendos. And he’s Steve’s tenant.

Steve Rogers: khaki pants and ugly tweed wearing art history professor specializing in historical queer art (by day). Is actually Captain America, vigilante and the bane of Detective Barnes’s existence (by night). Detective Bucky Barnes: A very clever cop who suspects something is up with Steve. Is frustrated that Captain America exists and is dedicated to finding him because he loves a good puzzle. So, how does Steve convince Bucky that he's too boring to be Captain America? Go on a date with him.

“What do I do?” Steve appealed into the phone. “I’m freaking out.” There was silence on the other end of the line. It lasted so long that Steve pulled the receiver away from his ear and frowned at it. Pay phones were old. Maybe this one wasn’t working despite the obvious dial tone when he picked up. “Ok,” a stranger’s voice said over the phone. “First acknowledge the fact that you dialed the wrong number, but be quick about it because my cab is a few blocks away from my own plans and I’m about to drop some truth bombs on you.”

You and me? We’re not the war.

It is like steel, the determination inside of you that tells you you will achieve this, that you will find him. Nothing will stop you. You are two sides of the same coin, you and he: he cannot escape you forever. Bucky runs. Steve follows. (Because fuck you, that's why)