“TMZ has enough fun spreading rumors about just the two of us; just think of all the trouble they could cause if they knew I’d invited over all your superhero friends to fuck you until you scream.”

Steve's fairly certain that he should find his current situation stranger than he does. He's still surprised, of course, and a little embarrassed, to find himself sitting with two highly trained assassins and an extraterrestrial who lends his name to a weekday while one of the world's greatest scientific minds purrs seductively to another about how they're all going to take turns fucking his ass, but not nearly as much as he'd have anticipated.