Fighting crime and wanton hero-on-hero violence is far safer for the world at large than the Avengers bored.

Steve had body-modesty trained out of him in boot camp, and apparently his attitude is infectious.

“I dunno, I just—” Tony wrung his hands and dropped his head as tears began to well up, overwhelmed. “I don’t—” “Oh, baby boy,” Steve said. “Why didn’tcha come ‘ta me earlier?” Tony whimpered, frustrated. Steve sighed and began to unbuckle his pants. "Don't ya worry now," he promised, rucking up Tony's dress. "I give it ta you, promise."

“𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑖𝑠 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝐶𝑎𝑝𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛! 𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑠𝑢𝑏𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑖𝑏𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑒𝑛𝑗𝑜𝑦 𝑡𝑜𝑑𝑎𝑦’𝑠 𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚! ;)”