"How was I to know?" Thor demanded. "Surely a 'Justice of the Peace' is meant to sentence evildoers! And why did he not say otherwise, if it was not so?"

In which Darcy Lewis is actually Hel Lokisdottir, Queen of Helheim, and Phil Coulson is the badass secret agent we all know and love.

Cards Against Humanity is not a good game to play with the Avengers, just not for the reasons that Clint was expecting.

In which A.I.M kidnap Tony. And decide to livetweet it.

Tumblr prompt: GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY AS OUTER-SPACE 'LEVERAGE'

“Oh, fuck,” Squalo says, thankfully at about a quarter of his normal volume, as he tumbles to lean against the wall beside Xanxus. “This is like with that shitty Bronco all fucking over again, don’t you fucking dare.”

Darcy thinks maybe her new intern is a slut. Like–a big one. Big ol’ slut. Both metaphorically and literally, since he's 6’3” of Kansas beefcake and maybe the literal only human being alive who has a build remotely comparable to Thor's. So like, a billion steroids or secretly an alien, Darcy’s assuming.