"Do you think this is still a training exercise, or did we just get our asses handed to us by actual bad guys?" asked Clint. Tony, Steve, Clint and Bruce spend quality time together in a cave. Tony does not build another arc reactor (even if he sort of needs one). Steve is all Protective Leader. Clint is terrifyingly good with a knife. Bruce bleeds and snarks. There is banter and embarassing amounts of schmoop and the boys get very touchy-feely.

"Okay. So. Kids. It can't be too hard, right? People dumber than us raise kids all the time. Not much to them. Just feed them, water them, distract them with shiny things and make sure they aren't unsupervised for too long. Speaking of which, how long has tiny-spawn been alone in your kitchen?" Steve and Tony (and The Avengers!) from the movie!cast + child!Peter Parker with a very AU backstory involving genetic experimentation aboard an abandoned space station (but that doesn't--strangely enough--feature all that heavily).