Phil Coulson, kindergarten teacher at S. L. Shields Elementary School, a wealthy, upper-middle class suburb has just gotten his new class of students. Like every class he has, they have their ups and downs, and life is never dull. Phil does his best to give all his kids a good foundation, and help out those who need a little extra from him. And if things sometimes get a little crazy, well, he's used to that.

So, Captain America effectively manages to cockblock Tony for a year. It's not Steve's fault. Well, actually, it is. But he was just proving a point - that if a superhero is gay, how can it be wrong? Steve just picked the wrong superhero to make the point with. Now America will think they're dating - and Tony's not going to be the guy to break Captain America's heart. There's only one way out. To save face, Steve and Tony have to become fake boyfriends. Steve thinks the "boyfriends" bit will be the hardest to act... but maybe it's the "fake" part that will be the hardest act of all...

"Okay. So. Kids. It can't be too hard, right? People dumber than us raise kids all the time. Not much to them. Just feed them, water them, distract them with shiny things and make sure they aren't unsupervised for too long. Speaking of which, how long has tiny-spawn been alone in your kitchen?" Steve and Tony (and The Avengers!) from the movie!cast + child!Peter Parker with a very AU backstory involving genetic experimentation aboard an abandoned space station (but that doesn't--strangely enough--feature all that heavily).

"That little shit," Jasper snarls, throwing himself in the seat across from Phil in the mess hall, glasses slightly askew and eyes sporting that look Phil has come to associate with a certain specialist recently collected into SHIELD's fold.

Tony Stark finds himself as a de-aged Loki Odinsson's temporarily designated parental figure, through no fault of his own. Responsible superhero co-parenting doesn't just involve feeding, housing and clothing a tiny Asgardian, it involves rubber ducks, transdimensional vortexes at bathtime, fruit parties, pictures of robots that draw other robots and hoverboards (eventually), as the team keep Loki safe while they look for a solution.

Someone is stealing Stark Tech and using it to fight the Avengers, which offends Pepper on every level. So when Phil asks her to team up with Natasha to root out the traitor she's more than happy to—even if it means reopening some old and not-so-old wounds.

Tony takes Steve (along with Phil, Clint and Thor) to look for America.

Some nights, Steve still has trouble breathing.

It's Fashion Week in New York and everyone who matters is here to judge and be judged. Clint's been steadfastly ignoring the gnawing anxiety in the pit of his stomach all day. He adjusts the silvery gray jacket Tony had thrust at him earlier and smooths out an imaginary crease in his linen pants. Tony is an amazing artist, not just when it comes to fashion, but in everything he does. Clint has no doubt he'll be fine. But try telling Tony that today and you'll get hit. Hard.

Steve stares at Thor. Then down at the children. It isn't that he doesn't understand what Thor is saying; it's just that he's sure that isn't possible. "Are you saying that those kids are Coulson and Stark?" Natasha demands. Steve is so glad that someone other than him asked that question. Thor nods encouragingly. "I am. Is that not a relief?" "Um," Clint says. He sounds as though he's going to freak out any second. "No?"

When the Avengers raid a very dubious scientific installation, they come across something they'd never expected to find. Their discovery turns out to be even more surprising than first suspected, and it leads the team - especially Steve and Tony - to some new and very undiscovered territory.

Frigga is sure that her youngest son is not lost to her forever. He just needs one chance to prove that he can be saved, that he is worthy of being saved. Midgard was the making of Thor, perhaps that may be where some of the answers lie . . . there and in the heart of Jotunheim.

Summer camp is the best place for friendship, adventures, and most of all, science!

24 facts about Tony Stark (for varying definitions of the word "fact")

He's met Toni Stark. He's seen the best that this century has to offer, dolled up in impenetrable sunglasses and a lipstick-stained grin, and he knows that this world isn't going to save itself.

When he takes the rap for a crime committed by Barney and the Swordsman, Clint is charged as an adult at 17 and spends the next four years of his life without protection in prison. Enter one Neal Caffrey, who knows how to charm his way to whatever he wants or needs, and Clint's life gets a lot more interesting. Pretty much, the story of Clint in prison, Clint getting out, and Clint, like always, finding his way to SHIELD, and Phil.

Tony's life is almost perfect. He lives in a converted warehouse full of friends (and one frenemy), has a job that leaves him plenty of time to think about other things and a regular Friday night campaign. If his best friend, Steve Rogers, hadn't moved away to New York and left him behind, then perfection would've been achieved. Tony can roll with the punches though and he's almost all the way over that little bump in the road (shut up Bruce, he totally is) when Steve moves back, looking taller and broader and more confident than ever and Tony's left with a converted warehouse full of friends (and one frenemy), a job that leaves him plenty of time to think about other things, a regular Friday night campaign and the uncomfortable realization that maybe he's in love with his best friend and has been since he was sixteen.

Because Loki is a contrary asshole, he gifts Clint Barton with wings, of all things, during battle. The wings in and of themselves are one thing, but the way they react to Phil is another.

When diplomats around the world are murdered in a series of mysterious explosions, it's up to Natasha Romanov and her special team of badass ladies to find the culprit and save the day.

Natasha becomes an internet phenomenon. It's nothing that she was ever trained for.