Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one. ~Jane Howard

Trades suck. One way to avoid them? Marrying your best friend.

Sidney Crosby has known a few things for most of his life: he knows that he loves hockey more than anything, he knows that 87 is his lucky number, and he knows that he’s gay.

Ryan supposes that’s fair, if he was dating someone, he wouldn’t have put so much thought into choreographing a threesome either.

Evgeni doesn't want to be responsible for a slave. (AKA The Eagle AU that spends almost ZERO time north of the wall)

Kaner tries to fuck his way out of love. That goes as well as you might imagine. That's my summary. But liketheroad's summary is also applicable: In which THERE IS A BACHELOR AUCTION TO SAVE ALL THE PUPPIES OF CHICAGO AND TAZER IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO SAVE THOSE PUPPIES AND KANER TRIES TO FUCK HIS WAY OUT OF LOVE BUT OH TOO BAD FOR YOU KANER, YOU HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS FOR THAT.

Patrick knows the Blackhawks have been not-so-subtly shopping around for someone who could bond with number-three-draft-pick Jonathan Toews, but it’s still a little weird for him to be sitting down with a couple of their suits in a conference room he didn’t even know existed.

“Patrick wonders idly what Toews' daemon is; something like a python, maybe, or a bird of prey. It would just figure if it were a hawk, Patrick thinks in disgust; he's already starting to hate Toews a little so he tries to dial it back. Then he notices a big cat—some kind of, like, mountain lion—sitting well apart from the other daemons. It's watching the ice intently, and if Patrick had anyone to bet with, he knows where he'd put his money.”

Kaner kicks off his twenty-eighth birthday party with an exponential crisis. Jonny frowns at him. “You’re having a crisis of ever-more-rapidly-increasing numbers?”

Pat's relationship with the media has been fraught since she was drafted, second round, home to Buffalo. Her relationship with her new Captain, when she eventually winds up in Chicago a couple of years later, doesn't start off a whole lot better. But by the time she's flying back from Biel, she's willing to admit that she had missed their thing just a little, weird as he's always been around her.

Sidney takes care of his wolves.

Sid strips to finance his hockey habit. Geno attempts to tip with hockey gear. Somehow, they make it work.

Crosby’s Biggest Secret! For years, Crosby has been famously quiet about his personal life. But now sources close to Crosby have confirmed that the secretive star has been keeping an even bigger secret than we thought! Meet the heir to his hockey throne—a son! Geno almost drops his phone.

There was a kid in Geno's yard.

Geno keeps the mental door closed to his teammates in the summer, at least when he can help it; he doesn’t always check in like Sid does. They have other ways of doing that, text and email and social media, and now is the time when they’re supposed to have a break from each other. Geno likes having his head to himself. It’s good for him to get it in order for the next season.

Sidney is not living out a Hellish version of The Little Mermaid, except for the parts where he kind of is.

The locker room chatter started up almost at once, providing a screen of background noise. Zhenya sat down beside the ghost. “I’m captain. Evgeni Malkin.” “Sidney Crosby,” the ghost said. He didn’t offer his hand, which made Zhenya think he had been dead for a while, long enough to shed the ingrained habits of the living. “I’m, uh. Is it really 2018?”

“I’m gonna be a groomsman,” Mitch says, then flops dramatically into the chair across from Auston, grabs Auston’s glass of whiskey, and takes a long sip. It burns as it goes down, and he makes a face. “Again.”

The program finally starts and she can’t stop herself from grinning stupidly when she hears his voice. They ask about her and she leans forward, listening avidly. “We’re very happy to be together for the next eight years,” he tells them. Connor punches the air. “Hell yeah we are,” she tells the screen. “Have you guys just been texting each other happy faces emojis constantly?” Sid asks. “Yeah, lots of kisses,” Leon says and Connor freezes.

Some things in life are certain. Roses are red, violets are blue, Connor McDavid excels at hockey and he really—really—doesn't like sex.

Set after Madison, in a BDSM world, where management decides that sub Patrick needs a Dom to keep him in line. Jonny might be chirped a lot in the locker room for his "soft Dom" techniques, but he's not going to leave his best friends to the hands of a stranger... and maybe, just maybe, a little gentleness is what Patrick's needed all along...