The body of the email just says, “don’t fuck seguin” because Jonny doesn’t know what capital letters are and he’s a controlling asshole even when he’s miles away, and attached to it is a spreadsheet that Patrick reluctantly opens. It’s color-coded with tabs and he’s not sure whether he wants to punch Jonny in the mouth or laugh in his face. Calling him in the middle of the airport is a really bad fucking idea and Patrick knows something about those, so he settles for sending Jonny a message. YOU SENT ME A JERK-OFF SCHEDULE FOR SWITZERLAND?!

AKA the one where Jonny learns to love Halloween and Patrick Kane discovers the powers of Vinyl Gloss 550 (Lovesick).

Kaner's really excited about getting a room of his own on road trips now, but the first night alone isn't as much fun as he'd hoped.