“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

So ‘Zhenya’ is a private name. It’s something Sid says to wake Geno up late at night when he’s half-asleep on the couch and needs to be cajoled to bed. It’s something Sid calls him first thing in the morning when Geno's made him breakfast instead of letting Sid eat his sad granola another day. It’s the name Sid whispers when he hugs Geno after a win and tells him he’s proud.

It’s safe to say that fatherhood seems to suit Evgeni Malkin.

Or: Five Times Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin Acted Super Married (And One Time They Sort Of Were Super Married).

“You having cock-sucking competition?” he teases. “Very good. You win. Ten points.” Sid blushes and smacks Geno’s arm. “No, I - I want to be the best at this.” “You are best,” Geno assures him. “Really?” Sid says, all-too-shrewdly. “The best you’ve ever had?”