"Yes, Kaner," Sharpy's saying as Jonny sits down next to them with a beer. "It would indeed be gay to measure your teammates' dicks to find out whose is biggest."

"Penis doodles are encouraged on all homework. Awful innuendos are allowed. Extra credit if you can get me to laugh at them. And don't hit on me unless you're legal, 'cause I got crazy shit for that last time." (or, what Patrick Kane would be like as a sex ed instructor)

"Does it change you, being turned?" Patrick asks. "I mean, obviously the physical stuff, but does it change who you are?" Erica takes off her helmet, then leans forward to rest her elbows on her knees. "It depends on how much the physical stuff makes you who you are, I guess."

"Yes, Kaner," Sharpy's saying as Jonny sits down next to them with a beer. "It would indeed be gay to measure your teammates' dicks to find out whose is biggest."

Carts acts all shocked about Mike being willing to live with him, which, seriously. "Where did you pick up this idea that I'm a douchebag?" demands Mike. "If anything, you should be the one skeeved out about living with a dom." Carts snorts. "I've built up an immunity to your skeeviness." "Then we don't have a problem," says Mike. "Come on, Arnold's gonna flip his shit."

Kane blows past Toews' D and circles around, looking for an opening... and he finds one, taking a hard slapper, and Toews gets a piece of that.

Patrick is actually rooting against the Blackhawks the day he wins the contest, which makes it kind of embarrassing when the jumbotron shows him going nuts about it in his Sabres jersey. (AU in which Kaner is a Blackhawks fan who wins a contest to spend a week with the team.)