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dammit, put the condom on the banana
[http://archiveofourown.org/works/568297] - - public:opalsong
"Penis doodles are encouraged on all homework. Awful innuendos are allowed. Extra credit if you can get me to laugh at them. And don't hit on me unless you're legal, 'cause I got crazy shit for that last time." (or, what Patrick Kane would be like as a sex ed instructor)
A Thing of Nightmares (or of Dreams?)
[https://archiveofourown.org/works/5589496] - - public:opalsong
What is supposed to be a special night for them takes a seemingly nightmarish turn. (AKA the one where Nicky grows tentacles.)