A story about not!Russians, the Atlantis Hockey League, accidental offworld marriages (of course) and the intergalactic sex appeal of the mullet.

Patrick sighs and sinks further in his seat. “So I was playing truth or dare with my sisters the other day,” he says, eyeing Johnny challengingly like he’s daring him to make something of it. Johnny’s mouth twitches, but he keeps his smile tamped down for now; if Patrick’s giving Johnny an opening like that to make fun of him, then that means there’s something even better coming. “Uh-huh,” he says, makes a go on motion.