Honestly, Pat isn't sure how they got here. He's had a lot to drink, and they've been engaged in about four hours of what was Mario Kart war but turned into an epic Smash Bros. tournament, and somewhere along the way bets that required badges of honour were made, except instead of badges of honour somebody—okay, probably Pat—decided they were to be badges of shame, and somebody—again, probably Pat—decided the winner got to mark the loser so everybody could heckle him until it faded.

Patrick is a priest of Aphrodite and Jonathan has a debt to pay.

Emotionally constipated dudes expressing love through making out and deciding to have a kid. In front of the Stanley Cup. #thatsit #thatsthefic

Hockey players make excellent roller derby girls.

Bitty glances up from the kitchen - that’s a new voice - just in time to see Shitty fling himself across the room at a tall brunette girl. “Hils! Fucking shit, man, so great to see you! You didn’t say you were coming!” OR: The one in which Hilary Knight is Shitty's big sister.

Sidney’s wedding day doesn’t go quite as he’d planned. When he’d bothered to imagine it at all, he’d thought of a nice June wedding in Nova Scotia, outdoors with the sun streaming down. He hadn’t imagined this hurried affair on the tarmac on a rainy and unseasonably cool day in early September, a month after his twenty-fifth birthday.

Beneath the ice, dread things lie dreaming. Or listening to One Direction, whatever.

Making sure to stand in profile, Jon watches Kaner take in the sight of him in the too-tight swim trunks. Kaner's fingers twitch at his sides and his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard, but Jon can't read his expression. "Jeez," Kaner says after a moment. "It's like two bowling balls stuffed inside a tube sock."

“I’m not doing you in the seats,” Pat says, tilting his head back to grin up at Jonny’s red face. “Turn around.” [Timestamp for put your money where your mouth is]

Sublimation 1. Passing from one phase to another without transitioning through an intermediate phase. 2. Where socially unacceptable impulses or idealizations are consciously transformed into socially acceptable actions or behavior, possibly resulting in a long-term conversion of the initial impulse. Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews should probably have figured out the first time what this type of behavior meant.

Pepper Potts inherits a failing hockey team at 25. She builds her staff and team her way, screw what anyone else thinks. She wants a Stanley Cup.

That's the end of the talking for a while, but it's only the beginning of Patrick thinking about it. He does some research, but it turns out that googling "what does it mean that I like getting held down during sex" doesn't provide much helpful information, and he can't bring it up with anyone, so he just – thinks about it, instead. It's probably more thought than he's put into anything before in his life other than hockey, but it leads him to some pretty interesting conclusions.