There's a lot of different ways this summary could go, like: Patrick Kane gets more than a gold medal in Sochi. Or, the classic: It's too late to pull out now. Or: Patrick Kane continues to thrive in high pressure situations. Or: Patrick Kane gets knocked up, goes to White Castle, and finds love, not necessarily in that order. But, ultimately, all that really matters is this: Patrick Kane is keeping his baby.

Beneath the ice, dread things lie dreaming. Or listening to One Direction, whatever.

“You know how I said I, uh. Spend a lot of time in the lake? Back home?” “Yes,” Zhenya said cautiously. Yes, Sid had told Zhenya that he was an inhuman fish creature. Zhenya had mostly recovered.

Sid came over for dinner a few nights later with an unanticipated bouquet of pink roses and hovered by the kitchen island while Zhenya put the flowers in water. Zhenya’s heart pounded in his chest. Flowers were a clutching gift; pink flowers— “Geno, uh,” Sid said, and Zhenya’s hands trembled slightly as he fussed with the blossoms. “I know it’s way too soon, but. Do you want to?”

Instead of coming back from his concussion right away, Sidney takes some time to have a baby by accident.

Sid is smitten. He was smitten from the start, he thinks. The first time he saw Zhenya's dark eyes and hair and smooth skin. The way his cheeks flush the same color as his mouth with exertion, or passion. Sid knows that people make comments about his own mouth, the way it would be more suited on a childbearing male, but he thinks that they can’t possibly have seen Zhenya's. The perfect, sweet cupid's bow of his upper lip and the plush, fat pout of the bottom one.

Probably, Phil should call his mom. Bozie should call his mom. They should have called a bunch of people already. Bozie is currently buying furniture off the internet and Phil is watching Ancient Aliens on the History Channel. This is the episode about the pyramids that Phil's seen at least three times.

“I love being an omega,” Mitch says. He’s trying to stick his hair up into soapy spikes as Auston watches him tiredly from the other end of the bathtub. “I don’t have to do things I don’t wanna do and people take care of me. What’s not to like?” He pauses. “Plus, heats are sick.” “Really?” Auston asks, mind racing. Maybe it’s not too surprising. Mitch adores being taken care of, likes being babied and coddled; given gifts and affection. Marty got him a four foot stuffed bear from the cinema arcade a few weeks ago and his whole face lit up when he received it. "You like heat?" “Yeah,” Mitch says, and pats all his hair down before wading through the water, bending over Auston and bumping their noses together. He's smiling all sweet but Auston still feels like prey. “I really like it. You just lie there and take it and it feels so good ‘cause your body wants it so bad.”

A viral pandemic takes the world by storm, transforming the infected with new anatomy and instincts and forcing Sid and Ovi together -- even though Sid's in love with and committed to Geno. Needless to say, it gets complicated.

Out of every one hundred thousand births, less than one hundred are the result of male pregnancy, the box says. Connor’s either very lucky or very unlucky, it seems.

Having babies gives you dad power. Dad power helps put hockey teams on the road to Sir Stanley. Sid sired a herd of little Penguins before Pittsburgh won its Cup. Toews might as well be running a Blackhawks baby factory. Now it's Ovi's turn. If only someone had told him that impregnating your fuckbuddy might make things a little weird.

It’s okay to be a wolf in the NHL now. That’s what everyone tells Dylan, anyway. To Podfic: "I Love the Riddles That You Speak" & "Race Like Falcons to Crash and Burn"

Every player must spend a little time offering their body to the will of the gods.

Zach has always had a sweet tooth, and Dylan has always been willing to abide.

You’ve got all this new equipment, bud," Sid said. "I need to figure out what I’m doing.” Sid’s curiosity was a horrible opponent. It had gotten them in this mess; had Sid not looked at Zhenya all those years ago with undisguised lust and said I’ve never kissed a guy, but…, then they would never have arrived in this tense standoff. Sid looked at Zhenya’s slit like he wanted to touch it, and Zhenya did not trust himself to stop that from happening.

Smut ficlets, mostly Mpreg related, but knowing me it will likely spiral.