Notes: The Helicarrier! You want hysterical and perfect characterization, look no further. This fic was just begging to be read. It has such amazing dialogue, and it genuinely made me laugh out loud while I was reading it, and it also happens to be by one of my favorite folks on tumblr (seriously if you are not following lucy re-evaluate your life).

The glass case that holds Captain America's uniform and shield is filled to the brim with what looks like a bright orange gelatin.

The problem with teaching someone with a deeply vindictive personality Occlumency was the inevitable problem of his using it to evil ends. Or, Remus Lupin, Sultan's Pleasure Slave.

"Things the men of the Howling Commandos are no longer allowed to do in the SSR."

"In which Sophie tells horror stories, Eliot is a princess and Nate is confused."

Havoc's first encounter with the little Elrics. Havoc had been looking forward to meeting the Elric brothers, but he’d been looking forward to it while thinking he’d have the whole office as a buffer. He hadn’t thought he’d have them all to himself in a car for half an hour in traffic. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Overjoyed was not the word.

Kon has a crisis. Tim wears pajamas.

"His life's a fucking space opera. And not even the erotic type that airs on New HBO. No, it's the animated comic type where the captain goes splat against the wall every episode and the pointy-eared bastard quirks his pointy eyebrow and steps on the captain's flattened remains."

Spock was able, at any given moment, to understand at least 50% of whatever it was Montgomery Scott was doing at any given moment.

Krem’s grin fades into a quiet smirk, his eyes warm and amused, and Cullen does not forget how to move his legs because he is a grown man, a leader of soldiers, commander of the Inquisition’s army. He breaks the silence by coughing loudly, because he is also an imbecile.

Podfic of The fic where Yuri Plisetsky is grossed out by adults by DoomedTemperament Yuri has more or less grown a begrudging respect for the other skater, and he’s not quite as fond of kicking the snot out of him like he was before (“teen angst”, Yuuri’s mother had called it in a weirdly affectionate way.) But there are still things that Yuuri does that piss him off. He’s hardly used to Victor still being in the area, and his crush has still gone unacknowledged. Maybe it’s time for Yuri to “help.” (Fic based off a tumblr prompt.)

The thing about Karkat Vantas is, he might be a pompous, noisy windbag with an inflated opinion of his own importance, and if he was suddenly struck down by some kind of vicious troll laryngitis the universe's total amount of chill and quiet would suddenly go up three levels... But turns out he's also a great fuck.

Your name is John Egbert and you know you are not a homosexual. Apparently your friends were informed otherwise.

"On the bright side," Dick says as he shimmies down the building, "You didn't raise a group of homicidal, raging, vengeful killers and sociopaths so much as you raised a group of emotionally-volatile, obsessive, spiteful vigilantes and paper pushers."

In which the technology of fake babies used to teach teenagers not to have sex has progressed to a point that they instinctively cry when Stiles touches them.

Because you don't grow back three feet of hair in less than two months through non-magical means.

Podfic of Night is Young and the Music's High by opalish "Best press conference ever," the Japanese Nationals silver medalist says when asked. “Ten out of ten, would medal again.” "I would die for Katsuki-kun," Minami declares, with terrifying sincerity.

"Congratulations on making it through one year of high school." Cassie says, holding out a cake, "We're proud of you."

Parker, Hardison, and Eliot are youtubers. And also criminals, incidentally.

From the other end of the ship, panting as though he has run from the depths of his workshop, Usopp is the next to let out a scream: “Why is there a SHARK ON THE DECK!?”

Itachi and Madara massacre the clan, but they miss one member. Obito, loyal Konoha ANBU and disowned Uchiha, suddenly finds himself out of the organization that’s been his life for eight years and raising a traumatized, orphaned child. Kakashi helps. Or watches and plays the smartass, it’s a bit of a tossup.

The door slams closed again the second Fox clears the threshold. The street crowd has largely fallen back into its normal rhythm, everyone moved on from the disruption. Which just leaves Fox, and the kid. Great.