Genma is a very good assassin. He takes a job, takes a life, comes home, repeats. Then one day a stray genin shows up on his doorstep. And then another. Lonely assassin? Not so much. Try resident shinobi den mother. [In which Genma is a (very manly) mother hen, his apartment attracts strays, and all of his (bastard) friends are quite amused.]

Orochimaru is on the edge of breaking when someone unexpected pulls him back to solid ground. When the time comes, he returns the favor.

“He’s pretty, isn’t he?” Mito asks thoughtfully.

No one in their right minds would ever expect it of him, and that’s why he’s the one best-suited to the job.

Fate has always had a love-hate relationship with the members of Team 7, and Sai is just now realizing that's he's most definitely not exempt.

Sakumo loses a bet and has to cover the fashion beat for a week. It's not nearly the trial he expected it to be.

The first person Kakashi meets when he staggers out of the house, covered in blood, is Uchiha Obito.

All of this, Kakashi would like it noted, is because he has terrible friends.

Sentinel, Genma thinks, and it’s not really a surprise—the Shiranui Clan have always produced about equal numbers of Guides and Sentinels—but… Guide, something in him whispers, and it’s desperate, grasping, clinging to the beat of the man’s heart. Guide, Guide, Guide, and Genma breathes him in, feels the stirring deep in his soul that tastes of old things and instincts and wants to reach—

“What,” Kakuzu says flatly. The redheaded witch who foiled his assassination sips her tea, for all the world like Kakuzu isn't trussed up like a sacrificial offering at her feet. “I said my husband thinks you're handsome,” she repeats, as if that will remove the sheer insanity from those five words. “I tried to kill him,” Kakuzu says incredulously. “I stabbed him in the chest.”

“Oh my god,” Jiraiya says, staring up at the ceiling.

Ameyuri and Zabuza get locked in a closet. It's maybe not an entirely terrible thing.

Tobirama loved Itama enough to go against the natural laws in an attempt to bring him back. For Itama, it’s time to return the favor.

“Are those even practical?” Iruka hisses, unable to tear his eyes away from his mission partner.

Adrift in a strange universe, Marc gets hired to take out a Jedi general. He agrees, even knowing it won't be an easy mission. What he doesn't expect is the interference of one Commander Cody, which throws him into a tailspin and sets off a cascade of events that absolutely no one could have predicted. At least Khonshu is having one hell of a time.

“Well,” Kit says lightly. “This does seem to be a predicament, doesn’t it?” Pressed right up against him, gauntlets digging bruises into his almost-bare hips, Dogma squeezes his eyes tightly shut. “I'm going to kill my whole squad,” he says, perfectly certain and resigned to it.

When one of Hondo's lieutenants unloads three kidnapped clones on him, Xanatos expects nothing but a massive headache and one more problem to deal with. He doesn't expect Kix, Jesse, and Tup to be the key to a power struggle that has been killing him by inches, and he most certainly doesn't expect all the shadows of his own past that Kix stirs up, even when they're supposed to be enemies.

Agen digs his fingers into the silver-veined bark, smiling a little. Pushes upright, flicking his hair back behind his shoulder, and pulls his outer robe off, draping it over a branch. “A trooper in distress,” he says, stepping forward. “I believe Jedi are supposed to rectify such things.” Two pairs of dark eyes snap to him, and Fives's widen with glee. He wriggles harder under Echo's pinning weight, like a landed fish, and cries, “General Kolar, help! I'm being overrun!”

Nyx wakes up on an alien world, the imprint of the Ring of the Lucii burned into his finger. It's still not the weirdest thing that's happened to him in the last twenty-four hours.

Agen Kolar is many things, but prepared to play babysitter for a repentant Sith is definitely not among them. However, Vader holds the keys to a conspiracy that could bring down the Jedi, and in light of that, Agen has to make allowances. (Anakin Skywalker just wants another chance. One more chance to make the right choices this time around, and save the galaxy he once destroyed. And if a weird, surly Zabrak Jedi Master with a penchant for punching people and a talent for finding trouble can help him, he'll take it.)

Upending a base full of slavers was supposed to be a straightforward mission. Agen was unprepared for abduction, cloned armies, and the dark edges of the mystery that surrounds them, stretching back a thousand years. Though, in fairness, Alpha wasn't at all prepared for Agen, either.

Aka Darth Talon, Arla Fett, and Xanatos break the timestream. It isn't the worst thing that could happen.

Fox has the galaxy’s greatest hero in his bed, he’s well-fed, he’s astonishingly well-rested, and he has a whole week of leave saved up that starts in about six hours, during which no one is allowed to bother him with anything work-related even if Coruscant gets invaded by brain-stealing worms. Again. He made sure Thorn and Thire both knew that. Which makes it ten times as unpleasant to wake up to someone bypassing the chime entirely and just pounding right on his door.

In the middle of her grief over Alderaan's destruction, Leia manages to hurl herself, her father, and her twin brother back to the start of the Clone Wars. It's not an opportunity any of them are about to pass up.

On a border world caught between the Sith and Mandalorian Empires, Mace and his padawan seek a vanished Council member. They aren't the only ones looking for something lost, though, and Jaster Mereel is a force all his own - one Mace is hard-pressed to resist.

It wasn't solely Jango Fett's DNA that went into making Domino Squad. Palpatine had other plans for them. Thankfully, so does their second genetic donor, and he has just as few qualms about murder as a Sith Lord.