"If you three don't stop bickering," Sophie continued, just barely loud enough for the mic to pick up, "no one will ever find the bodies."

In which Sokka muses, Jit Sang has a very sharp knife, Hakoda braids his beard and mediates, Aang shaves expertly, Zuko rejoins the Ponytail Club, and Haru nearly cries, to the amusement of all. Post Boiling Rock. Fluffity!

Spoony is offered some help in the inevitable fight against the Black Lantern Spoony...but is he willing to accept it?

IT HAS RECENTLY COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT INTERSPECIES RELATIONS ARE RAPIDLY DEVOLVING INTO SLOPPY MAKEOUTS THAT THREATEN TO BECOME DISGUSTINGLY MORE INTIMATE. IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP YOU IDIOTS FROM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT OVER WEIRD XENOBIOLOGY AND EMBARRASSING EVERYONE IN THE WORST WAYS POSSIBLE, I HAVE COMPILED THIS GUIDE, WHICH SHOULD BE SHORT ENOUGH THAT EVEN THOSE OF YOU WITH THE ATTENTION SPANS OF SMALL INSECTS SHOULD BE ABLE TO READ IT ALL IN ONE SITTING.

There are some staff changes going on at SHIELD.

Steve had body-modesty trained out of him in boot camp, and apparently his attitude is infectious.

The Coalition states for the record that it considers Her Imperial Condescension, Empress of Alternia and its conquered territories a Criminal, a Liability to her own people, an immature brat unfit for power, a Crazy Old Bat and an Abuser, and we do hereby charge her with Corruption, Corruption of Minors, Exploitation, Exploitation of Minors, Slavery, Slavery of Minors, Indoctrination, Indoctrination of Minors, Violation of the Prime Directive and Violation of seventy percent of the Chart of Universal Rights for the Sapient Species, and we declare to unanimously hold her in Contempt.

What if Castiel had taken a different vessel?

“You’re Captain America!” I said, because he was. “Uh, hulloooo, standing right here,” Tony told me. He was using his obnoxious voice. “I know you’re there,” I said. “But Captain America! You didn’t tell me Captain America was going to be here!” A sequel to 'A Connection Is a Thing Which Requires Maintenance.'

"Yeah. Thanks. Just what I need. Black lipstick."

How DID their fearless captain save the Haus from the entire football team? Five possible scenarios in which Jack Zimmermann saves the day, sometimes even on purpose.

In which people with floofy pauldrons like Cullen should probably not stand so close to the woman waving around a lit candle on the end of a board.

A terrible portrait of the Inquisitor is painted for her birthday. She thinks it's atrocious, Krem thinks it's a little hilarious. Drinking ensues to help cope.

"...any of your parent’s friends have any kids of less than, say, six years of age?" "No, not that I know of." "Huh-huh.” A suspicion suddenly crystallized in Tsunade’s mind. Between her fingers, her punch glass started to crack.

aka Steve Accidentally Joins the NY Pride Parade. He had just meant to go to the grocer’s. They needed eggs.

Yamamoto Genryūsai Shigekuni is a wise and terrifying warrior, the titan who has ruled the Gotei 13 for over a thousand years. But, at heart, he’s an old man who likes his tea prepared a certain way and has a soft spot for talented youngsters. It started with Ukitake and Kyoraku, and his latest fledgling seems to be one Kurosaki Ichigo, substitute soul reaper. (Alternatively, a story in which Yamamoto is a crafty old man, Ichigo grows up to be utterly terrifying, and Aizen doesn’t stand a chance.)

Konoha is an experience, and that’s just about the politest way Ine can phrase it.

It's the job of the captain to pick the crew, and the duty of the first mate to test them for worthiness. How Zoro came to accept each of the straw hats as nakama.

Kurama just wants to finish his nap in peace. A particularly idiotic human is making that rather hard.

or alternatively titled "The Space Power Rangers Try to Figure Out If Shiro Has a Natural Winged Eyeliner Look Going On Because He's Fly Like That or Not and End Up Failing"

Bruce Wayne is either really bad at Twitter, or really, really good.

"Well, you can't ALL be the space prostitute." Coran protested, then appeared to muse it over. "Although..."

"Yes, this isn't all that interesting anymore," Sanji agreed with a longing look at the corridor down which the beautiful girls had fled with their stuffed alligator. "My beautiful Nami-swan should be docking the Merry in that hidden harbour right about now. I hope she didn't suffer too dreadfully from my absence." "Do they even know where we are?" "No." "Good. That'll give us time to go and meet them at the docks rather than see them tumbling through that door any second now. I don't want Luffy anywhere near this place."

Dr Kureha pounded some more monkshood beneath the pestle. "The name of a rabbit disease that infects humans. Causes ulcerations-"

"Zoro!" Luffy gave him a happy grin, looked out at sea...swung his head about to give his first mate a slightly longer look centered on the latter's new bust line, then back up at Zoro's face as he waved excitedly. "Hurry up! Nami says the log pose will set here if we wait too long, and then we won't be able to sail to Merman Island because we'll be set on another course. Hey, do you know your clothes are too big?"

Luffy, challenge, really big maze, treasure if he wins, death if he loses. Are any more explanations required?

The Batfamily go to see Hamilton.

Yamamoto and Gokudera have lunch together every Saturday. Tsuna can't decide if this is a good thing or just the cause of more ridiculous problems.

In which Tsuna’s the Corpse Whisperer. (Or: In the months he spends at the Varia Compound at Timoteo’s behest, Tsuna manages to stumble across enough forgotten dead bodies to fill entire cemeteries. And everyone is terribly amused. Except, y’know, for him.)

"This is the fortieth time." Jason says, "Just to point that out. I'm not complaining, or anything."

Hibari Kyouya travels in time and takes over the world. Basically crack.

The plan was simple, as good a plan as a clan of shipwreckers and bounty-hunters could ever come up with. Capture one of the weaker Straw Hats, the ones without bounties, and make them beg for mercy until the stronger ones surrendered. Nothing can possibly go wrong with such an easy, straightforward scheme. Time to make some money!

Once Edward became legal, the number of office outings to the pub went up exponentially. Possibly this was because Edward was really fun to take to a pub.

FMA best case scenario. But the Elrics, even at peace and completely happy in themselves, are still kind of alarming to bystanders.

in which Tsukiyama is conned into having dinner with Hannibal and is delightfully surprised to find out that it is not in fact beef

Nami's nakama were certifiable. Loony-bin material, every last one of them.

"Seriously. How does this not bother you," Alec said, staring at the mirror as he tugged the hem of his primary-colored overtunic into place.

"Hey there, ghosts," Midoriya says, "it's me, ya boy." The dorms are haunted. Shenanigans ensue.

“-my mother was not Lyanna fucking Stark!” Jon exclaimed, before turning and kicking, vehemently at the sofa, enough to leave brown dustmarks on the purple cloth. He turned back to her, lifting a finger threateningly. “I don’t care what you say. But our father would never- never- sleep with his sister, in fact I don’t even know why I’m telling you this because guess what, Sansa? You should already know that!” [Sansa tries to tell Jon who his mother is. Jon thinks he’s an incest-baby. Which........ isn’t wrong.]

In which Minato is a Sky, Obito is his Guardian, and everything gets fucked beyond measure.

Kakashi is being trolled. He doesn’t know how that can be, but he knows with utmost certainty that he’s being trolled somehow. OR Kakashi gets saddled with the cheekiest little brats ever and wonders if it's too late to become a missing nin.

Obito turns himself into the Whomping Willow. It goes great, right up until people start making a nuisance of themselves under his roots.

While everyone in Suna concerns themselves with Gaara, terrified that the One-Tail might break free and rampage through their Village, they forget a few key facts. First, that just because Shukaku is the largest demon in Suna does not make the Bijuu the only demon in Wind Country, or even the only demon sealed away in Hidden Sand. Second, that Raza has two elder children that are just as capable of ushering in Suna's doom as their youngest sibling is. Third, Kankurou is the overlooked middle child who just wants to play with his baby brother. Remember these facts. They're important. Especially the third one.

It’s rather disappointing, Reborn thinks. He was a much cuter toddler the first time round.

Growing up was bad enough the first time. Going through a speed run was a special kind of hell.

Peter cut in with his hands raised, placating, “We’re here because –” “You’re in mortal danger,” Noir said. “-we have something to...tell…you – okay well, I was going to be a little less blunt about it, but I suppose that’s-” “The truth!” Ham said with vigor. (Miles doesn't know who or what Venom is, but according to his friends he's about to find out.)

After much deliberation, careful study, and scientific analysis, Wes Janson decides that the Fate Of The Galaxy is entirely dependent on the state of Senator-Princess Leia Organa's hair.

Fenris has dedicated himself to hunting slavers, but there's one inevitable outcome that comes from such a profession. And that is freeing mages.

The thing that most people who are not sect leaders fail to understand is that being a sect leader is hard. It’s not the countless duties and obligations, or the crushing weight of responsibility, or even the hours of meetings spent trying not to fall asleep as some stupid merchant who’s never experienced any hardship in his entire overly-fed life drones on and on about how Lanling Jin should compensate him because a stray fierce corpse scared him and made him spill his tea. Or something. It’s that sometimes, despite being a sect leader, there’s still nothing Jin Ling can do to help people. In which Jin Ling turns to masked vigilantism as a way to more effectively help people. Somehow it doesn't all end in disaster.

What if when Nie Huaisang went back in time to save his brother, he brought not only himself but the rest of the Sect? AKA the fic where the Nie Sect is very overprotective of their Sect Leader and Nie Mingjue is very confused.