Notes: The Helicarrier! You want hysterical and perfect characterization, look no further. This fic was just begging to be read. It has such amazing dialogue, and it genuinely made me laugh out loud while I was reading it, and it also happens to be by one of my favorite folks on tumblr (seriously if you are not following lucy re-evaluate your life).

The thing is, Derek’s really, really hot. Like, insane levels of attraction. What with the leather and the cheekbones and the stubble and the ass — oh god, that ass — Stiles can’t really be blamed, at all for freaking bragging. Now if only his college friends actually believed Derek existed.

Rose said later that "I was really fucking bored" was insufficient explanation or indeed justification for the First Triennial Human/Troll Flashstepping Competition. (Now with a tiny sequel!)

Every Tuesday, Head Auror Harry Potter gets a new secretary, until one day he hires Draco Malfoy, who is oddly determined to find out why.

Let it be known that Yuri Plisetsky is killed by his first friend, and possibly, if given more time—and if he could just admit it deep down in his heart that yes, he has a crush on Otabek the size of St. Petersburg—his first boyfriend, during the exhibition gala of Trophee de France. Oh, what’s the murder weapon, you ask? The goddamn hoodie. Or: Otabek dresses sexy for his EX Gala and Yuri loses his shit.

Give Yamamoto an inch, and he'll try to take a mile. Hibari's not entirely sure he approves of that.

“I’m…uh….a retired competitive figure skater?” he asks, his voice going higher with embarrassment. “And I…uh…got 2 golds in the Grand Prix…and 2 golds in Worlds….and maybe a silver in Pyeongchang?”

Piecing together the stories of the past from the things that were left behind is not always an easy task. Chapter 1 - In which historians really don't get it at all. Chapter 2 - In which Par Vollen releases some historical documents and the Dawnstone Dragon fandom goes wild. Chapter 3 - Political fallout, historical recipes, more on the Museum of Vashoth Culture's resident Simulacrum, and so on... Chapter 4 - In which Nigel makes a discovery.

Harmon knows how this goes. He's from Nevarra, and he's read books. Plural. If you want to fight a dragon you need to find a Kindly Mentor who can teach you all their Secret Strategies. So all he needs to do is find this old Tal-Vashoth dragonslayer his cousin keeps going on about, get him to teach Harmon about dragons, convince everyone else to go along with his dragon-hunting plans, fight a dragon, and win. Easy, right? Starring one cheerful qunari grandpa, one grumpy necromancer grandpa, and a bunch of Nevarran mercenaries who are about to have a very educational experience.

Neji is nineteen. He’s Hokage. The House system has officially been demolished, and the key to his seal, to every Caged Bird Seal, is sitting on the desk in front of him. It feels like freedom, and maybe a little like terror.

"This is a manly bonding experience. Living off the land, hunting, fishing. Very manly." For the Canadian Shack challenge.

“What is that,” Obito says flatly. “It is a cactus,” Gaara says, like that’s the only question here. Deftly, with an air of ceremony, he sets the pot in Obito's hands, and then tells him, “It reminded me of you.”

The thing that most people who are not sect leaders fail to understand is that being a sect leader is hard. It’s not the countless duties and obligations, or the crushing weight of responsibility, or even the hours of meetings spent trying not to fall asleep as some stupid merchant who’s never experienced any hardship in his entire overly-fed life drones on and on about how Lanling Jin should compensate him because a stray fierce corpse scared him and made him spill his tea. Or something. It’s that sometimes, despite being a sect leader, there’s still nothing Jin Ling can do to help people. In which Jin Ling turns to masked vigilantism as a way to more effectively help people. Somehow it doesn't all end in disaster.

A month and a half into his duties, a letter arrives. Lan Zhan, it reads, I miss you already. Throw over your responsibilities and meet me at the western ridge at Qixi. Yours, Wei WuXian. -- Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi parted ways after Yunping — but not forever. [!!CQL verse!!]

Sandu Shengshou and Hanguang-Jun had, infamously, long since mastered the art of existing in the same space without ever acknowledging one another directly, and Wei Wuxian, having never in either of his lives met a delicate social situation he didn't blithely barrel through if it suited him, happily chattered enough to fill what might have been awkward silences in any other company. But in the end it was not Wei Wuxian who ultimately prompted the cessation of the cultivation world's coldest and most famous feud. or: The Badass Teamup of Jiang Cheng and Lan Wangji

Shen Yuan was born to be Reviewer 2. Decades after his marriage, Empress Shen Qingqiu is living his best life at the entire demonic civil service's expense.

"I know I'm going to regret asking this," Jiang Cheng says, already sounding resigned, "but what on earth are you doing?" -- Jiang Cheng encounters the Juniors being undignified on the pier.

Derek’s had a rough life up until this point. He’s beginning to learn perspective, and in the scheme of things, being a temporary woman is pretty minor.

“Oh my God, shut up Danny, you went to play for the Habs, you don’t know my pain.” Or, Claude Giroux gets traded to the Penguins.

This started with @whoacanada‘s wholly addictive NHL Bitty fics - one of which was an AU where Bitty didn’t go to the Seattle Schooners but the Pittsburgh Penguins. I hadn’t actually intended to write anything because (1) I don’t really write much these days and (2) I have weird, twitchy feelings about RPF (parts of which are completely hypocritical given I have read RPF before). If I had to attribute blame, though, it’s because of @itsybittle whose original reply was the one that made think of an actual story and sequence of events rather than just funny tags. In any case, here is a story about Eric Bittle and the Pittsburgh Penguins. I’m hoping you enjoy it and that none of the ‘you’ here involves anybody actually in this incredibly fictional (and no doubt out of character) depiction of real people (if it does, I apologise pre-emptively and would like to wish you luck in game 6!). PS. @itsybittle, hope you enjoy ;) PPS. yes, some of the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins mentioned are completely made up.

“Oi, Deku!” Bakugou shouted, eyes meeting startled green. “How often do fucking heroes contact students for internships?” Deku looked startled, floundering a tad under the attention. “I- uh- never?” “Huh,” Bakugou said, reading over the letter again. “What?” Kirishima gaped. “Did a hero mail you a letter?” Bakugou rolled his eyes. “Fuck no. I think that bitch Miruko-whatever sent me a fucking death threat and her number.”

alvarez91: guys have you seen the new article about jean lailah: NO tell me what's in it alvarez91: i want you to imagine the most 'no homo' statement ever by a student athlete. and then i want you to imagine there's a two page spread written in that style. (or; jean and jeremy are no homo'd beyond belief by the press, the fans go wild, and somehow neil josten appears.)

all hail the raven king @onetwopunch Counting down the hours til Kevin Day returns to the coup #cawcawmothafuckers wifey @fckevinday looks like someone is still holding out for the impossible @onetwopunch all hail the raven king @onetwopunch @fckevinday I’m being a realist, Kevin ditching the Ravens for the PU Foxes was a mistake _____ The Foxes and Ravens play in the NCAA Exy Championships. The Internet reacts.

Neil and Andrew handle press duty, and Neil is asked about his relationship status.

An full length ficlet extension of my tumblr headcanon which ends with Andrew revealing Neil has a neck fetish on live television. -- Written for the anon who asked: omfg can i pleASE get an extension of the last part of your andreil and subtle touches headcanon? the part where andrew's like "josten has a fucking neck fetish"

When Robbie's vision cleared, his father, King Joffrey Baratheon, first of his name, lay unconscious upon the floor in a puddle of spilt wine. Robb Stark lived. Many things followed as a result - some impressive, several insane, and quite a few straight out of tales of the Age of Heroes. Perhaps the only unfortunate one among them was Joffrey remaining on the Iron Throne, his worst impulses and tendencies only barely held in check by those around him. Until the day he goes too far, and gets hit over the head with a pitcher of wine as a result.