Karkat Vantas, despite numerous protests, has just joined Alternia High's Gay-Straight Alliance. Shenanigans ensue.

The Coalition states for the record that it considers Her Imperial Condescension, Empress of Alternia and its conquered territories a Criminal, a Liability to her own people, an immature brat unfit for power, a Crazy Old Bat and an Abuser, and we do hereby charge her with Corruption, Corruption of Minors, Exploitation, Exploitation of Minors, Slavery, Slavery of Minors, Indoctrination, Indoctrination of Minors, Violation of the Prime Directive and Violation of seventy percent of the Chart of Universal Rights for the Sapient Species, and we declare to unanimously hold her in Contempt.

Anonymous asked: Dave/Karkat/Jade urban fantasy. Dave is a vampire, Jade is a werewolf, and Karkat is so done with all this supernatural bullshit. (not super urban hahaha)

He felt like the naked girl who'd just been a white wolf and the half-naked guy who'd just been a mangled corpse dragged into his barn by a wolf completely deserved his screaming. The ~magical~ turd-licking fence-fuckers masquerading as his classmates had been sneak-flirting with him for weeks. "Is my life actually a shitty supernatural romance?! Am I going to develop more special than you powers that somehow never matter half as much as who I fuck? Am I supposed to arbitrate your little game of which one of you is the sexiest alpha male by gracing them with my boy cooch?" -- now with sequel pesterlog silliness.