In which the Bull is one of the Ben-Hassrath's best agents, ready to give himself piece by piece to the fighting on Seheron, and Dorian is cursed, irritated, and stuck in a cave. An AU where the Iron Bull meets Dorian on Seheron, with Beauty & the Beast elements.

You really can buy anything on the internet.

Dorian is a mechanic in the modern city of Skyhold. Iron Bull and his Chargers are a motorcycle gang. What more do you need to know to click on this story?

At the age of thirty-seven, Dorian of House Pavus could now say that the worst day of his life was his wedding day... After a failed blood-magic ritual from his father, Dorian's body is forever changed. However Halward isn't about to let that get in the way as he offers his only son up as a bargaining chip for peace in Seheron. Dorian, son of one of the most powerful Magisters in the Imperium, is now being forced to marry a Qunari. And to add to the man's frustrations, he must be pregnant within a year.

In order to save his home, The Iron Bull returns to work as a professional Dom for a company known only as Inquisition. Dorian Pavus, known by the code name of Urthemiel within the Inqusition's carefully guarded walls, is considered a difficult client, and placed with The Iron Bull in the hopes that he can help. Together, they build something better than they were before.

possible subtitle: and other reasons The Iron Bull is no longer allowed to suggest titles for his films In which Dorian is just getting used to his new life in Ferelden, when he discovers that his upstairs neighbour is somebody he knows. And by knows he means recognises from the movies, and by movies he means porn, and by recognises he means has had a slight obsession with since Rilienus taught him the twin joys of proxy servers and sites that charge their subscription to your credit card under names like ART FILMS, INC. (also: in which Halward is an asshole, as always, Rilienus is kinda a jerk, Felix remains perfect because Felix, and Sera is the mystical goddess who grad students pray to when they want free leftover sandwiches to turn up)

Dorian Pavus needs out of Tevinter. The Iron Bull, a relatively well off rancher, is in want of a husband. It may as well be a perfect match. After answering The Iron Bull's ad in the newspaper, Dorian is whisked out of Tevinter and into the rugged beauty of Western Orlais to become a farm husband. Together, they learn how to love among the wildflowers.