"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. “Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian.

A fic based lightly on a reddit post— "I (21f) have a crush on my roommate (20f). I can't figure out if she actually likes me back or not or is just being friendly. She cooks for me and knows all my favorite foods, and brings me lunch. She buys me anything I want, and her family all joke about our wedding. I once fell asleep on her lap and when I woke up she was stroking my hair and I almost had a stroke. I can't figure out if she's flirting with me or not. Help!"

It’s a really unfortunate thing, developing a crush on your husband. Wei Ying had assumed this would be easy. Lan Zhan had been so icy and unpleasant to him, it had never occurred to him that he might end up spending the next however many years with this dumb, burning feeling in his chest whenever he looks at him. “Okay,” says Wei Ying. “But tell me if I…if the pretending gets to be too hard, okay?” “It will not,” says Lan Zhan, quietly certain.

"请原谅我多情的打扰" Lan Wangji is, for some contrived reason, dragged to a strip club and forced to confront his own repression. Wei Wuxian is, due to Lan Wangji's inexplicably terrible luck, also in his class.

The reason Wei Wuxian had told him to look at this on the plane, Lan Xichen realizes, is that Lan Xichen will find it difficult to murder him from cruising altitude. Or, Lan Xichen finds his dating life taken out of his own hands.

A fake relationship for the sake of revenge had sounded like a good idea to Wanyin at the time.

Wei Wuxian can’t sleep. Luckily, Hanguang-jun’s ASMR videos help. A modern AU in which they are all video bloggers and Wei Wuxian cries a lot.

In an effort to become the 'beauty' that is part of Jiang Cheng's type, Nie Huaisang decides to give putting on makeup a whirl. It's purely an accident he becomes youtube and instagram famous in the process. And Jiang Cheng remains oblivious.

“You know, you’re the one to beat this year,” Jiang Cheng offers helpfully, having seen the glare from right next to him. “Hanguang-jun’s been through juniors with the rest of us, he knows all of our tics. You’re an unknown variable, since he’s never competed against you before.” “Thanks,” says Wei Wuxian drily. “That’s very comforting.” Or: five nighthunting competitions where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were rivals, and one where they weren't.

In the wake of intracity warfare, Jiang Cheng finds himself engaged by proxy to Nie Huaisang in an effort to build ties between their sects. The fragile peace is short-lived, however, and with the strands of magic and the alliances that hold the city together fraying apart, Jiang Cheng must decide where he stands in order to save what he loves.

Dark eyes catch his from across the room and Nie Huaisang pauses as Jiang Cheng spreads an arm across the back of the couch he occupies alone, idly swirling his drink in his other hand. The lush fabric of the sofa looks almost magenta in this light and plays beautifully off the deep purple and sharp lines of Jiang Cheng’s suit, making him a splash of vibrancy in a room otherwise dominated by boring blacks and muted tones. The sofa is also the sole piece of furniture in the room, besides the bar and the high tables. The message is unmistakable: this is Jiang territory, and everyone else is a visitor. Receptions are good for seeing and being seen, and Nie Huaisang likes what he sees at this one.

Modern AU: Nie Huaisang is at University, studying business (as is his duty) rather than Fine Arts (his passion). He is also, however, moonlighting as a photographic artist anonymously posting a series of high-end erotic self portraits, under the nom de guerre of FanBoy, in which his face is never visible. He's posting porn online, basically. But it's none of your trashy amateur shit - it's GORGEOUS. Nie Mingjue has a certain "type" (the details of which he chooses very carefully not to reflect upon) and as such he very swiftly becomes the number one fan of this mysterious photographer/model. Identity porn and actual porn and angst and more porn ensue.

The first time Lan Huan sees him, he thinks it’s a trick of the light. The sea glimmers like translucent pearls off of the man’s pectorals, polishes his long wavy hair like jet. But the most fascinating part of him must be the thousands of tiny glittering scales lining his lower abdomen, down, down, down to a pair of translucent olive fins that shimmer like gold in the summer light. Lan Huan breathes in, but the salt spray somehow tangles in his lungs. (Mermaid AU)

Wen Ning has always fallen way too easily for the kind ones.

Irrationally, he feels like he’s been caught. But Jiang Yanli knows. She’s known for a while; she knew even before he himself knew. But they’ve never - they’ve never actually talked about it, let alone… this. Whatever this is. Is he a bad husband? He feels like he should be, but Jiang Yanli isn't upset at him for it. If anything she's - she keeps pushing him toward Wen Ning, making excuses for Wen Ning to spend more time with them, and more bewilderingly, with him. He doesn’t get it, but he’s grateful - grateful that she loves him and trusts him like this, that she’s so unbothered by his... His odd, misplaced attraction to their flatmate. -- A companion piece/alternate POV for the first scene in Soft touch, soft heart by Verse.

A series of one-shots and multi-chapter works, for a WangXian & XiCheng universe where morals are absent, and our boys are (literally) crazy in love. This AU is a Mafia/Gang universe set in Shanghai - a little fucked up (this is an understatement) and shows a lot of morally degenerate, obsessive behaviour between our four main men. Expect a lot blood, murder, possessive relationships that border on unhealthy, a stupid amount of life-threatening situations, along with gore and lovemaking.

Thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian brought scandal and shame down upon his head and was thrown out of the competitive ballroom dance circuit. He vanished, never to be heard from again. Lan Wangji aches when he remembers the way Wei Ying danced--like a laugh given movement and form. He has never stopped searching for him.

Wei Wuxian meets his soulmate when they reach for the same bunch of daffodils at the local bodega. Too bad he immediately puts his foot in his mouth. How can he repair the damage and convince this beautiful man to date him? Let the group text conversation begin! (for the 50 Meetcutes meme - You reach for the same bouquet in a flower shop)

Four times Lan Zhan walks in on his roommate masturbating.

Wei Ying wants to rob him, but it wouldn’t even be satisfying, since this guy is just—giving away money. With his nice fingers. Maybe Wei Ying will just bite his fingers, and that will give the same endorphin rush as robbing him. / a day told across five parts.

When his brother had sent him the appointment confirmation, Lan Wangji had assumed it had been for Lan Xichen’s oft-praised and highly recommended acupuncturist. It is not, he soon found out—standing inside the lobby of a studio lit by soft, warm light and faced with a beautiful man in well-worn, rumpled clothing and with a lopsided bun on top of his head, wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket and wearing no shoes at all—an acupuncturist. “Cuddle therapy,” Lan Wangji says, his voice drawn carefully flat over the overwhelming panic welling up inside his belly. He had not thought his brother so cruel. This must be some sort of horrible mistake. ----- In which Wei Wuxian cuddles people for money, Lan Xichen takes matters into his own hands, and Lan Wangji is doomed.

"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. “Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian

An AU where Wei Ying was raised by the Jin family as a courtesan.

Lan Zhan has been in love with his best friend for nearly a decade and despite his attempts, has never managed to confess. Now that Wei Ying's lease is almost up, there's a chance he'll be moving in with him soon, and Lan Zhan isn't sure that's something he'll survive... The impending stress leads to a drink, which in turn leads to a desperate Reddit post that goes viral and attracts attention and advice from... well, none other than Wei Ying, resulting in a series of failed attempts at getting Wei Ying to realize just how Lan Zhan feels about him.

It’s possible that letting go of this crush on Wei Ying would have been easier for Lan Zhan if he didn’t know that Wei Ying and his lover, Mo Xuanyu, often took thirds to bed. It is almost certain that letting go of this crush would have been easier had Lan Zhan not become one of them.

The cascade of events that lead to this moment—Nie Mingjue in a mesh crop top and billowing pants and a snake shaped chain that connects the neck bit to his trousers, good god—started, like all chaotic things in Mingjue’s life do, with Huaisang. With Huaisang’s new boyfriend, to be precise. And Huaisang’s boyfriend’s brother’s boyfriend’s brother. Who just happened to be Mingjue’s high school almost-sweetheart. - in which Huaisang has an art show, Xichen wears a suit, and there are. Shenanigans.

“And here you are,” Yibo agrees. “What’s next?” Xiao Zhan shrugs. “Another flight, further out. A ship if I can sign on to one.” He grins at the thought, then peeks at Yibo. “I don’t suppose you know a crew who’s looking for a mechanic? I’m good with my hands,” he says, wiggling his fingers. Yibo raises his eyebrows and Xiao Zhan feels his ears turn hot. “Why not a ship of your own?” Yibo asks. Xiao Zhan snorts. “I didn’t cash in that much.” “You might be surprised,” Yibo says, and Xiao Zhan deflates a little. “And you were doing so good at not being a salesman,” he says resignedly, and Yibo grins. Xiao Zhan leaves the quiet, stable life of a shipyard mechanic for adventure in the stars; adventure finds him after the third drink.

This AU invaded my brain last night while I was trying to fall asleep, so here’s a bullet list of headcanons so I can get them out of my head/record them somewhere for potential later usefulness. Born out of me reading a thread on Twitter (that I of course can’t find anymore) about the punk group active in Chicago (I think? probably more than one city, but specifically where the author lived) in the ’90s that was organized specifically to keep fascists out of punk clubs. Just zero tolerance for bigotry at punk shows, threw them out of the club immediately, with violence as necessary.

@stultiloquentia correctly pointed out to me that I forgot to include our discussion of LWJ and WWX’s fashion in my headcanons post from yesterday, which was a grievous oversight that must be corrected, plus I’ve had some more thoughts that need to be recorded.

After the dramatic bodega courtship saga, our favorite duo finally have a date scheduled. Naturally, the rest of the squad needs to weigh in on the first-date preparations. And during the date itself, the group chat discussion is hot and heavy! (Sequel to 'Bodega Love')

Jiang Cheng has been told that anal sex is a great; however, he doesn't know quite how to go about doing that. Nie Huaisang, dutiful as always in his role as best friend, helps him figure it out. (And then helps him figure out something else, too.)

A series of comic pages set in a modern college AU, featuring disaster lesbians, dumb little brothers, and couch makeouts.

It was difficult not to think about it, at least a little, as Sizhui pulled his sweater off in the same move he used to sweep Jingyi down onto the bed. Sizhui threw it somewhere and then started tackling the buttons of his own shirt, and without his mouth or hands causing a distraction, Jingyi had a terrifying moment of clarity over the fact that Dr. Lan and Dr. Wei had been the pillars of his young life, and now he was repaying their kindness by letting their son sprawl him naked across their marital bed while they were on vacation, celebrating their enduring years of union. Their son, who was bare chested now above him and very clearly wearing nothing but his own wedding ring. Lan Jingyi attends his high school class reunion, reuniting with his childhood best friend more closely than he anticipated.

“All you need to do is be a good boy. Can you do that for me?” With Lan Wangji’s eyes covered, Wei Wuxian cannot help but take note of the way it highlights his other features, such as the gentle slope of his nose, the sharp angle of his jawline, and his plush full lips, just waiting to be kissed. “Yes,” Lan Wangji replies, a beat quicker than usual. He tilts his head up in a silent request. “Wei Ying?” Wei Wuxian crawls up Lan Wangji’s body until he hovers above him, close but not enough to touch. Despite still being fully clothed, Wei Wuxian can feel Lan Wangji’s bare skin radiating heat. “What do good boys say when there’s something they want?” “...Please.”

Dating Xiao Xingchen came with something called the Fuck-it List. or; Song Lan arranges a gangbang for his boyfriend.

Xiao Xingchen’s hip jerked toward the wand, but against the wide fix of the spreader bar between his knees, he had little leverage. Song Lan just moved the wand with him.

This has to count as some sort of sexual harassment, right? It’s got to be his idea of a joke, to subject Jiang Cheng to this “massage parlor”…! Massage parlor Jiang Cheng’s left buttcheek, this place is clearly sketchy as hell! If his masseuse doesn’t ask him if he wants a “happy ending” tonight, Jiang Cheng will gladly eat his shoe. -- Jiang Cheng has a Happy Ending

“Something happened at the Lotus Pier.” “Oh? What does Fengmian have to say?” “Nothing,” Wei Changze said, and that’s when Cangse Sanren noticed that her husband was an unhealthy shade of pale. “He’s – he’s dead.” “What?” She snatched the letter away from him. “What – him and Yu Ziyuan both? Impossible! They’re – they’re sect leaders. Of a Great Sect! What happened?”

modern au wen ning wears exclusively t shirts for metal bands with horrific names but he is so sweet and kind and quiet and accommodating that people forget to really think about this after a while, and then he’ll be listening to music looking peaceful and shy and someone will be like “what are you listening to” and he’ll be like oh :)! and extract an earbud to reveal loud, relentless screaming

When Nie Huaisang gets paired with straight porn star Jiang Cheng for a five-part series, he’s sure it will be an utter disaster. Until the cameras start rolling and their chemistry alights like wildfire. (Or, the five times Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng have sex for their job, and the first time they have sex outside of it.)

once more i am thinking abt wei ying introducing himself to lan zhan as a sub(stitute teacher) at a formal gathering, & lan zhan, surprised that this cute guy he kinda recognizes from the community center would just introduce himself as a sub(missive) like that at a public event!

Possibly some of these will become longer, but not yet. Currently featuring (among others): - child!Jin Ling gets himself kidnapped by a well-meaning Wen Ning - truth serum trope - Nie Huaisang steals the Ghost General - Nie sect adopts the Yiling Patriarch - a variety of arranged marriages - crossover (Leverage, Naruto, Legends of Tomorrow) - dragons dragons everywhere - unintentional black widow WWX - Jiang Cheng is thrown into the burial mounds - NHS wields a fan as a weapon - JC interferes with the events on the Qiongqi Path - Lan Sizhui is Wen Ruohan's son and meets him unknowingly - WWX is named chief cultivator - Jiang Yanli's spirit responds to Lan Wangji's constant playing of Inquiry - WWX & LWJ locked away behind the Wall - LWJ stays in the burial mounds but it affects him - JC does impossible things

Listen. A-Qing loved food as much as any other self-respecting person of the global era, but this? This was about more than food. This was about art. This was about humor and science and culture and—and okay, two of the hottest men she'd ever seen in her life. --- A Youtube cooking channel au of Wangxian lmao --- Bonus channel descriptions: suibian, 6.39M subscribers: [太辣？不认识!] not a pro chef >:3c Cloud Recesses, 9.74M subscribers: Cloud Recesses is a food and entertainment media company based in Suzhou City. Our aim is to share one of the eight famous Chinese culinary art forms, 苏菜 (Su cuisine), with the world. WangXian Week 2020: Day Three: Celebrity | Rebirth | Mementos

The image file is of LWJ's beautiful, elegant hands petting a bunny that's sleeping in the hollow of his crossed legs. At the bottom of the frame, just barely visible, is uh, visual proof that LWJ was not wearing anything under his sweatpants.

Wei Ying had been saying something. “I didn’t even like him! It’s just --” “His dick was so big, yes, you’ve said. Several times.” Lan Zhan’s voice was a little strained, probably because he was holding him up while they waited for the elevator in Wei Ying’s building.

Lan Xichen's boyfriend comes over all the time, but he doesn't stay long. (Or, Wei Wuxian is the only one anyone knows who is comfortable showing himself in a dispensary. This leads to an obvious misunderstanding with big stoner Lan Xichen's straight-edge brother.) (Or: Lan Zhan finds out the fun way that he likes to fuck stoned.)

The boy came to UCR_1669321_QH with the night shuttle. This was significant only because the ID he showed to Auntie Huaifeng on paperwork duty is clearly fake, and he didn’t leave with the next shuttle outbound—he wandered further into the belly of the station instead, asking about work. Auntie Huaifeng reports this all to Mingjue through the comm right from her rickety booth overlooking the station shuttleport in gleeful, cracking bursts.

“Let’s play a game,” Xingchen says. Song Lan and Xue Yang share a look.

When the Yiling River rages out of control, the townsfolk decide that a living human sacrifice is needed to appease the dragon that dwells in the river, and Lan Zhan bows to his fate.

so what if modern nie sect BUT with tattoos (and nmj’s got “dage” tattooed on his forearm with baby nhs’s writing) (nhs started with making projects for his friends and afmily and for fun and eventually became tattoo artist himself)