In another universe, the Imperial Fleet came to Earth without warning, in the early years of the Cold War. Just as suddenly, nuclear warfare served as the ultimate warning to stay away, and the Earth was safe. The crashed ships full of abandoned officers and slaves, not so much. Fast forward to present day, and the Earthbound troll population has been forced to survive in a human-dominated society that doesn't take kindly to their decades-long presence. Between having to resort to archaic and undignified methods of reproduction, legally-mandated drugs to suppress their more trollish attributes, and clashes between Alternian and Earth-hatched generations, survival looks to be a difficult task, indeed.

Terezi Pyrope is a Neophyte Legislacerator looking to lease an administrative assistant. She was not expecting to find Dave Strider, a secretarial asset with a sense of integrity as strong as her own. Dave Strider is a secretarial asset with "personality problems" that would have gotten him culled if not for his otherwise exemplary administrative abilities. He finds himself drawn into the quadrants of the would-be social reformer who leased him. He finds he is surprisingly Okay with this. Both their lives become interesting (in the curse sense) when the Heiress retains Pyrope and her team.

It's a whirlwind pale romance, unbelievable even by Troll Hollywood standards.

The first rule of Troll Fight Club is : you don't talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Troll Fight Club is : you don't. Talk. About Fight Club. And you sure as hell don't let humans join.

He leers. "Princess." Your spine stiffens. "It's Empress now." "Is that the motherfucking truth," he says coolly. "You takin' up everything my fine fin-sister had?" He levers himself up out of his throne, and up, and up, and your fins flare out defensively but you stand your ground. He's huge, a towering hulk of corded muscle and bone trophies and wild hair. But you grew up with Gl'bgolyb. It takes more than sheer size to intimidate you. "Everyfin worth having," you retort.

He pushes off the bed in one smooth motion, and your bloodpusher skips a beat as he takes a step towards you. “Really.” “If, if you’re trying to imply anything lewd—” “Lewd? Seriously? You sound like Zahhak.” Another step. Your voice is too shrill when you ask, “But are you?” He braces one hand against the wall over your shoulder, tilts his head to the side, and smirks in that infuriating, awful way. “What do you think?”

Sollux is invited to 'tentacle night' by his kismesis Roxy. He's a little confused when she shows up with more tentacles than him.