"So what's the problem?" Elizabeth asked. "They won't talk to us unless we sing first," John said.

The team descends on the Miller household. (No turkeys were harmed in the making of this story. Much to Ronon and Rodney's disappointment.)

Challenge: Tony's testing out some new armor, but he's late getting home -- which means Pepper has every reason to experiment with some of his armor's more interesting systems.

take superheroes, add baby, stir (until what have I done)

Steve finds the Iron Man plushie on a table in the middle of the city, sitting between a stack of sunglasses and DVD cases. He chuckles when he picks it up, noting the uneven stitches and the red places that ought to be gold. It looks a little like a high school home economics project made by an apathetic student, but it’s still undeniably Iron Man and Steve is tickled.

As it turns out, the Extremis hadn't quite finished rewriting Tony's brain. The only potential fix has...consequences.

Where Steve and Darcy are platonic BFFs and Tony and Clint just aren't buying it. & Darcy Lewis has tased a literal God but that didn't help her last week. That's where the Avengers come in. Darcy has a lot to learn but she's got the best teachers. & Darcy's life is weird, but she kind of likes it.

Zack wants Cloud's help, but passing notes in front of the whole of ShinRa while the president is giving a speech probably isn't the way to ask. & "The movie that we watched for this was Thor: Hammer of the Gods, on Scifi. I mean, Syfy. (Except that I’m a couple hours behind the other two and so I got most of the MSTing before watching it.) [info]artimusdin started it with her OMG EIR’S!CLOUD WOULD BE HORRIFIED AT THIS and my LOL HE TOTALLY WOULD, and [info]chofi got some input of her own."

Tony, Steve, Clint and Bruce spend quality time together in a cave. Tony does not build another arc reactor (even if he sort of needs one). Steve is all Protective Leader. Clint is terrifyingly good with a knife. Bruce bleeds and snarks. There is banter and embarassing amounts of schmoop and the boys get very touchy-feely.

So gyzym wrote a bunch of Steve/Tony kidfics on tumblr, and I podficced them, because they're adorable and lovely and squee-ful and just so, so perfect. And then there were four more and I pounced on them!

He's not a bird. He's a human. He just likes to be alone.

In which Coulson is his frighteningly competent self, but this time, the Avengers notice.

Few So Generous: After Odin falls into the Odinsleep, Frigga takes up her husband’s spear and the rule of Asgard. For Children: It's crept up on Natasha without her realizing it. Her Boss's Keeper: Diana has been working for the White Collar division for all of a week before she figures out that her new boss is, in fact, a thin shell of grouch over a marshmallow center. Five People Who Caught Darcy Doodling: Darcy can't always taser people to work out her frustration. Bros!: In which Darcy remembers something that Tony (mostly) doesn't, Jane is rendered awkward, and there is some snarking about polka-dot bras.

The story of how Darcy Lewis accidentally helps found the Avengers while having an epic, failboaty romance with that dude she nailed in a bar two years ago. Tasers, jackbooted thugs, Tony Stark, and life-altering job offers are par for the course when you help discover an alien/god dude with amazing pecs.

Tony begins to notice that things are going missing from his workshop... and discovers that his bots have been hiding a very, very big secret from him. Or rather, a very, very small one. In which Dummy is a kleptomaniac, You is painfully shy, Butterfingers is a programming genius, JARVIS is a sarcastic sonofabitch, Pepper takes care of Tony outside of the workshop, Bruce is Tony's boo, Thor is Tony's favourite, Clint is actually kind of smart, Steve has terrible timing, and problem-solving is never simple or easy.

"If the explanation for making me late for work is that you guys were using me as a human stick in an epic game of werewolf fetch," he says, "I am going to be pissed." --- Four times the pack used Stiles as a stick, and once he got them to fetch Derek.

Gyzym's not!fics are addictive, I swear. So here are four more, kinda-sorta in the Bedtime Stories 'verse, but this time with bonus Teen Wolf! The titles are pretty self-explanatory, the links are to the texts on gyzym's tumblr, and I haven't linked to their individual downloads because that made the page really confusing - the files are clearly labelled, so if you don't want one, you can just delete it from the group folder.

Taking care of Tony is a lot of work. Especially when you’ve only got one arm. And your code dates back to the 1980s.

"Tony. I can't be a superhero." Darcy is pretty sure about this. (Sequel to Gift of Asylum)

Gyzym's not!fics are addictive, I swear. So much so, in fact, that I've done... sixteen more XD Since there are so many of them, I've put streaming in for all of them on my LJ, and all sixteen can be downloaded from the link below. All are rated G except the one marked otherwise

Some things are true and some are not.

Everyone thinks Peter Burke has only caught Neal Caffrey twice. Everyone is wrong.

Fury's a beautiful princess. Clint's plotting a Communist revolution. Rhodey's not sexy. Wall-E's not a documentary. Clint's not gay but he does give a great blowjob. This fic is not an AU.

The Mending That You Need: “He’s not my boyfriend, Stiles. He’s a man from a club. I couldn’t call him, if I wanted to.” The One Where Derek Almost Dies: "You remember that one time you got shot and almost died in my car? And that other time when... well, you were shot then too and almost died in my car... again. What is it with you and almost dying in my car?""

Five times John and Sherlock kissed because of a case and one time they kissed for real.

In hindsight, maybe introducing the local werewolf contingent to the wonderful world of online gaming hadn't exactly been Stiles' best idea.

Coming home from a long business trip, Tony stumbles on Steve listening to Glenn Miller in the library.

“Blue Wolf, come in, Blue Wolf. You should really thank me for suggesting the pink tie, as it’s clearly bringing all the ladies to the yard.”

. . . composed from a great number of actual surveys; and other materials regulated by many new scientifick observations of their Affections and Masculine Virtues. Drawn up from the Journals which were kept by the several Commanders, And from the Papers of M. Rodney McKay, Esq., FRS; In One Volume, written by A Lady of Quality. September 1811, Halifax, Nova Scotia: His Majesty's Aerial Corps stand ready to welcome new additions to their number; an expedition late of the Antipodes.

All Our Exploring: "We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot, Little Gidding. sometimes i feel: "I think I've missed a crucial turn in this conversation," Stiles says, practically into Scott's mouth because holy shit they are so so close now what is this, is this real. in a shower of: jonny washes patrick's hair; patrick doesn't hate it. Keep an Open Mind: They’ve had this connection for nearly as long as they’ve known each other; Patrick doesn’t know why it happened, what made it so that out of all the people in the world, it’s Johnny and only Johnny whose thoughts he can read, but there it is. One day it was just Patrick in his head, and the next, he’d woken up with the background awareness of Johnny in there too, and a panicked, thumping voice saying, Oh, shit. You too? Strange Days: "I don't want to talk to Deaton. I don't want to be another supernatural problem to be dealt with." No Business Like Show Business: In which Merlin is promoted from production intern to talent, is easily mortified, and has Post-It arguments with Arthur while the art department watches in glee. Also, there are gay dragons. Gone to the Dogs: Jonathan Toews turns into a puppy. Then some other stuff happens. what i'm saying is i need you here: Pat’s been carrying around these feelings for Johnny like an extra limb for years, now. It sucks, a little bit, but mostly it’s not too bad. Sometimes it blindsides her, though, like when the lockout ends and she comes back home. The Law of Conservation of Pants: Or, Five Things Darcy Lewis Thought She Knew Before She Met the Avengers (And One Thing That Will Always Be True). In which Darcy is put in charge of Social Media relations for the Avengers and finds that 5/6th of them challenge the things she thought she believed.

In a world where Sentinels, people with five heightened senses, bond mentally and spiritually with Guides, people gifted with empathetic powers, Tony Stark has spent thirty-three years overwhelmed by the emotions of those around him and running from his own. Sentinel Steve Rogers wakes up sixty years out of his own time and struggles to deal with the massive amount of new sensory input while trying to find his footing in a New York very different from the one he knew. When they finally find each other, how will their bond change them?

rule!63 Derek, and how that plays out

YOU MIGHT BE DEREK HALE: a two-voiced chat fic in which kalakirya and somnolentblue MIGHT BE DEREK HALE Better Than Rocketship Underpants: a two-voiced chat fic in which kalakirya and somnolentblue giggle over scott and stiles and allison and pancakes and Derek not being allowed to be angsty

At the end of Advent Children, Cloud is offered a choice.

In which Stiles explores a few off-label uses of mountain ash.

In which El is a vampire slayer, Peter is a watcher, and Neal is a wayward sorcerer.

"For fuck's sake, Gibbs — is this some kind of exchange program that I don't know about?"

Gibbs sometimes wonders what he did to deserve these morons, but then he looks through the one-way window at three naked and extremely uncomfortable-looking Marines and figures it could be worse.

Fusion with Ursula le Guin's planet O. In a world with very different marriage rules, a noble wedding and a magical threat still can't make Merlin, Arthur, Gwen and Morgana talk about their feelings.

Welcome to the Lee Jordan show on the Wizarding Wireless Network, the best show for news, interviews, sports coverage, and entertainment on air! Tune in now!

In one's home, clothes are optional. Housemates, however, may disagree.

So Alec had randomly mentioned that he was actually just gonna stay home on Thanksgiving and yes, as Eliot so awesomely put it, "play stupid video games."

"Hierarchical triple systems comprise a close binary and a more distant component." - www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov Darcy’s been cagey in regards to the whole 'bi' topic, because it’s complicated. Or, okay, people think it’s complicated, but it really isn't and she doesn't want to handle the barrage of inevitable questions. Especially not from Jane, who asks questions like it’s her job (which it kinda is) and might cotton on to the fact that Darcy thinks she’s hot. Like, 'Jodie Foster in Contact' hot, except without the interstellar daddy issues. (Later, Darcy will remember this thought and laugh and laugh. And maybe also want to cry.)

waking up to ash and dust: Eliot doesn't like hospitals. There are a few reasons for that. like you know i am better than the worst thing i ever did: “I’m goin’ to die for them,” he says to Sophie, before he ever says it to Nate, and it is not a simple statement of fact but a barebones confession, the helpless bleeding of a wound that he was too smart to not know had been made but he’d been putting pressure of for years, hoping that with spit and a prayer that he could make it heal, but he never could, isn’t sure that the stitches that could close that wound have even been invented. “Yes,” she says, “And how long have you known that?”

Fuyumi can read between the lines of Mako’s file. The justification for having Mako on the base is paper thin -- strings have been pulled and favours have been bartered, and somewhere along the line someone decided Fuyumi was the perfect combination of talent and expendability to be brought into this mess. It’s only slightly closer to a compliment than an insult -- the balance tipped by the child at the centre of this, nine years old and heart-breakingly brave. -- Scenes from the year after Stacker and Mako first meet.

Four times they worshipped each other, and one time someone else did.

podfic of a tumblr fic by idyll

podfic of a tumblr fic by idyll

tumblr fic by idyll

Five things the Leverage team know about each other.