"Lan Zhan!” Wuxian exclaims as soon as the door to Lan Wangji's apartment opens. “Fake-date me!” The door slams shut in his face. or, The Best Laid Plans of Wei Wuxian.

Lan Zhan looked too old, sometimes, staring into the blinding sun of dawn. He looked like he had gone somewhere Wei Wuxian couldn’t follow, beyond the scope of the horizon. Resentful energy swirled black and terrible at that thought, and Wei Wuxian laughed it to shattering pieces. Lan Zhan had stayed, but that didn’t mean he would forever.

A fic based lightly on a reddit post— "I (21f) have a crush on my roommate (20f). I can't figure out if she actually likes me back or not or is just being friendly. She cooks for me and knows all my favorite foods, and brings me lunch. She buys me anything I want, and her family all joke about our wedding. I once fell asleep on her lap and when I woke up she was stroking my hair and I almost had a stroke. I can't figure out if she's flirting with me or not. Help!"

It’s a really unfortunate thing, developing a crush on your husband. Wei Ying had assumed this would be easy. Lan Zhan had been so icy and unpleasant to him, it had never occurred to him that he might end up spending the next however many years with this dumb, burning feeling in his chest whenever he looks at him. “Okay,” says Wei Ying. “But tell me if I…if the pretending gets to be too hard, okay?” “It will not,” says Lan Zhan, quietly certain.

"请原谅我多情的打扰" Lan Wangji is, for some contrived reason, dragged to a strip club and forced to confront his own repression. Wei Wuxian is, due to Lan Wangji's inexplicably terrible luck, also in his class.

Wei Wuxian can’t sleep. Luckily, Hanguang-jun’s ASMR videos help. A modern AU in which they are all video bloggers and Wei Wuxian cries a lot.

"Zewu-Jun. You once told me about a house surrounded by gentians, where you visited once a month, and how Lan Zhan still waited there, even when the door no longer opened." Xichen feels light-headed. He feels shocked, and angry. He has never told anyone such a thing, but Lan Zhan is giving Xichen a look of utter betrayal. "You told him?" Lan Zhan whispers. "When?" Wei Wuxian takes Lan Zhan's hand. "About twenty years from now." Wei Wuxian starts again from the beginning.

“You know, you’re the one to beat this year,” Jiang Cheng offers helpfully, having seen the glare from right next to him. “Hanguang-jun’s been through juniors with the rest of us, he knows all of our tics. You’re an unknown variable, since he’s never competed against you before.” “Thanks,” says Wei Wuxian drily. “That’s very comforting.” Or: five nighthunting competitions where Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji were rivals, and one where they weren't.

In an effort to become the 'beauty' that is part of Jiang Cheng's type, Nie Huaisang decides to give putting on makeup a whirl. It's purely an accident he becomes youtube and instagram famous in the process. And Jiang Cheng remains oblivious.

Nie Huaisang looks at him. ‘You are confusing me, Clan Leader Jiang, perhaps I misunderstand, but…’ ‘You didn’t misunderstand. You don’t misunderstand. You understand all of it.’ For six months Jiang Cheng has been mulling this over, and now with Nie Huaisang in front of him he can’t figure out if he most wants to knock him down or kneel at his feet. What he does is try and breathe. Clench his hands at his sides. ‘And now I am going to ask you to do something for me. You have to do something for me. You have to help Jin Ling.’

or, Catharsis: The Fic In which Wei Wuxian, shortly after being called into Mo Xuanyu’s body, is further forced into the past, where he proceeds to tumble his way into absolutely nailing a time travel fix-it.

‘Don’t indulge in pleasure,’ was perfectly comprehensible - at fourteen Lan Wangji already knew that that meant no second helping of stew, even if you were still hungry, and definitely no more little cakes, your mother should never have made those for you to try in the first place. - Or Five Times Lan Wangji learnt something about sex

Lan Wangji is alot of things. He is intelligent, well-mannered, loyal and unfortunately an omega.

"By the Heavens, did you hear? The Yiling Patriarch has been invited to the Discussion Conference in Qinghe!" Gossip was, by far, the fastest way for information to spread. "What! Whose idea was that!?" It was not the most accurate or most reliable method, but people were people, and the tedium of daily life would always bore them. "I heard it was the Nie Sect leader's suggestion." ---------- After thirteen years in the Burial Mounds, the Yiling Patriarch finally makes a public reappearance. Civilians are scared. Cultivators are outraged. Sect Leaders are concerned. Wei Wuxian has been too quiet, they say, and nobody knows what dark horrors the Burial Mounds may now contain. Wei Wuxian wouldn't quite call them dark horrors, but the description wasn't too far off. (tl;dr Wei Wuxian lives, raises a whole gaggle of demonic cultivator children, and the cultivation world panics.)

“Thank you, A-Ning,” she ran her fingers through his hair and felt her heart tighten as he gave her a bright smile. What wouldn’t she give for his smile to never disappear? What wouldn’t she bear for his eyes to retain their color? What wouldn’t she do for his heart to keep beating? Wen Qing dies, Wen Qing lives. A second chance to make things right.

After their end, a plea and a wish for things to have been different by Lan Xichen sends Nie Mingjue and Jin GuangYao back in time and gives them a chance to do better. With their knowledge of the 'future' they came from, they have to figure out how to deal with each other.

Nie MingJue wakes up. And that doesn't make sense, because he knows he died. Aka: After everything is said and done, Nie MingJue gets brought back Wei WuXian-style and tries to figure out just what on earth happened in the meantime. In the process he also reunites with his brother, drags Lan XiChen out of seclusion, becomes drinking buddies with Wei WuXian, learns about Jin GuangYao's downfall, meets the next generation, and features (not always intentionally) in a number of reconciliations.

In which Jiang Yanli plots for her brothers’ happiness Or: the YunMeng siblings learn about self worth

Wei Wuxian meets his soulmate when they reach for the same bunch of daffodils at the local bodega. Too bad he immediately puts his foot in his mouth. How can he repair the damage and convince this beautiful man to date him? Let the group text conversation begin! (for the 50 Meetcutes meme - You reach for the same bouquet in a flower shop)

Thirteen years ago, Wei Wuxian brought scandal and shame down upon his head and was thrown out of the competitive ballroom dance circuit. He vanished, never to be heard from again. Lan Wangji aches when he remembers the way Wei Ying danced--like a laugh given movement and form. He has never stopped searching for him.

An AU in which, after the Sunshot Campaign is over, Jin Guangshan does not legitimize Meng Yao and he goes to live at Cloud Recesses with Lan Xichen.

Lan Wangji had never had call to perform the spell of silent communication before he and Wei Wuxian joined together to fight Xuanwu. He figured it was temporary. Spoiler alert: it wasn't. Or: the AU in which Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian psychically bond in the cave, Wei Wuxian overhears Lan Wangji thinking about the fact that he actually likes him, and after several minutes of confusion, is fully on board with this.

Wei Wuxian has an idea and makes a talisman. A sexy talisman.

AU in which Nie Huaisang and Jin Guangyao work together to take down Jin Guangshan from the beginning. Or: the story in which Nie Huaisang just wants to paint fans and feed birds and he doesn't understand why this is so much to ask.

Lan Wangji was dreadfully concerned when he learnt his best friend's brother was a ghoul. Jiang Cheng really wished his brother's new stalker wasn't a dove. Wei Wuxian was just happy his friends and family seemed to care so much about him. No wonder it took them all so long to figure out what Qishan Wen were up too.

“I once heard a rumour that this is how Lan An and his cultivation partner did it,” Ma Qiao piped up. “Which, I mean, if anyone could…” “The Lans are far too boring and repressed for something like this,” Wei Wuxian said, with the authority of one who had been resoundingly ignored by a Lan for the past month. “Can you imagine Lan Wangji dual cultivating?” Everyone knows that dual cultivation is a myth that only works in porn. Wei Wuxian discovers differently.

Jīn Líng received a request for aid from a remote village under his Sect's protection. As Sect Leader, he goes personally and call his allies for help. He won't fail his people like the previous leaders have, but he's got a lot of work to do. Or: Jīn Líng goes on a little cross-country trip, finds out how badly his Sect has been handled, and goes from being a distant, uncaring ruler to "that nice young man who swore his friendship with those other polite boys over breakfast. It was so cute." Day 3: Prompt, Goodwill

Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?” “Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.” “There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly. In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.

Essentially: LWJ's mom and WWX's mom ON THE RUN with THEIR KIDS. (...and also MY's mom. And any other goddamn moms who need help. Get in the fucking car, ladies, we're saving everybody) Because here's the thing: LWJ's mother was a cultivator who killed her future-husband's teacher. And I think we all have a pretty damn good idea what might have gone down to provoke that, and why the Lan menfolk never actually explain what precipitated this act of extreme violence, and thus we can probably take a stab at why a perhaps-newly-pregnant lady* might end up agreeing to a marriage of convenience with some guy she really wasn't into, who was determined to keep her locked up in a pleasant little prison in Gusu. And I'd like to say "aww, bless him, he saved his unrequited crush all selflessly like, even though they didn't then live together as husband and wife"....but he subsequently knocked her up with a second child. :/ The ladies in MDZS tend to have a pretty shitty time, so this fic is pulling a goddamn Fury Road and scooping them up and taking them off to form their own Ye Olde Themyscira-ish Rogue Sect of ladies looking out for other ladies. (*obvs this is my headcanon.)

Modern AU: Nie Huaisang is at University, studying business (as is his duty) rather than Fine Arts (his passion). He is also, however, moonlighting as a photographic artist anonymously posting a series of high-end erotic self portraits, under the nom de guerre of FanBoy, in which his face is never visible. He's posting porn online, basically. But it's none of your trashy amateur shit - it's GORGEOUS. Nie Mingjue has a certain "type" (the details of which he chooses very carefully not to reflect upon) and as such he very swiftly becomes the number one fan of this mysterious photographer/model. Identity porn and actual porn and angst and more porn ensue.

"Where is the Pern AU in which WWX's sleek black dragon, outcast among his kind for his colour and intelligence, ends up the one to entwine LWJ's great golden queen in a mating flight so intense it's sung about Weyrwide for generations to come (never where small children can hear)?" ...and apparently teenage McCaffrey-fan me felt like this was an excellent idea, and worth interrupting the other WIPs I'm currently working on to have a quick scribble at. So, uh - yeah. Pern AU, basically, because dragons yay?

Three perspectives on three sworn brothers, at three different times in their relationship. (Or, three times 3zun got it on and some of the feelings they had along the way.)

Lan Wangji gets cursed with a ~woman's body~ and has to orgasm to go back. Since he's 1) a virgin 2) super repressed and 3) SUPER gay, he has no idea what to do. If only he had a super nosy friend who's read lots of erotic novels who could help him figure out what to do... hm...

Wen Ning has always fallen way too easily for the kind ones.

When his brother had sent him the appointment confirmation, Lan Wangji had assumed it had been for Lan Xichen’s oft-praised and highly recommended acupuncturist. It is not, he soon found out—standing inside the lobby of a studio lit by soft, warm light and faced with a beautiful man in well-worn, rumpled clothing and with a lopsided bun on top of his head, wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket and wearing no shoes at all—an acupuncturist. “Cuddle therapy,” Lan Wangji says, his voice drawn carefully flat over the overwhelming panic welling up inside his belly. He had not thought his brother so cruel. This must be some sort of horrible mistake. ----- In which Wei Wuxian cuddles people for money, Lan Xichen takes matters into his own hands, and Lan Wangji is doomed.

“I propose that we kill two birds with one stone,” Liu Mingyan said, and if her tone goes a bit theatrical, Jiang Cheng had the decency not to point it out. “I don’t follow,” Jiang Cheng deadpanned, crossing his arms. “I thought the plan was to milk this whole thing for what it’s worth and gracefully part ways when it inevitably fell apart.” “Yes, well. There’s a perfectly viable solution to the whole ‘falling apart’ part - you,” she said, pointing to Jiang Cheng, “Marry my brother.” -- Jiang Cheng gets married in the spring of his 39th year. It turns out better than he expected.

He can’t get Jin Guangyao’s words out of his head. If he’d only believed in Wei Wuxian, if he’d only been willing to stand up for him, could it all have been avoided?

It starts with a curse, Jin Guangyao’s last revenge, seeking to tarnish what he could never touch. Lan Xichen is prepared to die from it, if he must, taking the shame of it to his grave. He doesn’t expect his brother’s lover to figure out the situation, let alone that Wei Wuxian might be their best hope of dealing with the curse in a way that leaves all three of them with their self-respect intact. And he certainly doesn’t expect being slowly, carefully drawn into their relationship, and learning how to live again.

A night-hunting trip, awkward boners, and three useless teenagers who might, eventually, figure out how to be in love with two people at the same time.

A month and a half into his duties, a letter arrives. Lan Zhan, it reads, I miss you already. Throw over your responsibilities and meet me at the western ridge at Qixi. Yours, Wei WuXian. -- Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi parted ways after Yunping — but not forever. [!!CQL verse!!]

Yunmeng Jiang is housing a retinue from Qinghe, here on diplomatic grounds. Among the people gathered here is Sect Leader Nie. Maybe that’s the reason why Jiang Cheng is restless - he can never keep himself still around that man. Jiang Cheng feels so stupid to act this way - as if wartime flings aren’t just a thing that happen sometimes - but how can he help it, when the last time they’d met, all those months ago during the Sunshot Campaign, Nie Mingjue had pressed kiss after aching kiss to his mouth, to his neck, to his shoulders? Jiang Cheng bites his lip and breathes out hard through his nose. He needs to work off some of this energy, before it comes back to bite him in the ass. Before he starts expecting things that weren’t meant for him in the first place.

There was no way the old contract Jiang Cheng found arranging a marriage between the direct disciples of the Nie and Jiang sects was, as Jiang Cheng insisted, the way to solve the problem of the Yiling Patriarch - if only because there was no way the Nie sect would agree to it. Except - they did. And now they're coming to discuss terms. With Lan Wangji as the official chaperone.

A man who binds himself with so many rules is afraid of what he will do without them. When all his righteousness is not enough and his little brother is killed by one he trusted, Nie Mingjue casts aside all restraint and principle. He travels to the Burial Mounds, his brother's corpse cradled in his arms, and kneels before the Yiling Patriarch, begging him to bring his brother back - And then he goes to seek an accounting. No matter what the cost.

The Nie sect’s ancestors were butchers; that lowly heritage is well known and widely celebrated, much to the not-entirely-concealed disdain of some of the more refined, gentlemanly sects. Butchers at home and butchers at war – everyone knows that. What’s rather less well known is that the third sect leader, colloquially known among his descendants as ‘that idiot’, rather heroically saved an imperial princess in battle and then – and this was why he was that idiot – married her. She was a proper princess, too, the true-born daughter of the emperor; other sects might see that as a good thing, since for all that cultivation sects saw themselves as being above petty things like the politics of the common folk, a princess was still a princess. The Nie did not. The reason for this was quite simple. What does a cultivation style that already incorporates an increased chance of death through anger most assuredly does not need? The blood of the eight-clawed dragon, that’s what.

Wei Wuxian was fully prepared to be rejected – no matter what Jiang Cheng said about the Sunshot Campaign caring more about defeating the Wens than anything else, the fact remained that his cultivation was most decidedly abnormal and unorthodox, the sort of thing the cultivation world most scorned. He’d already decided that if they did that, he would return to his previous approach of stalking the Wens from the shadows, fighting them in his own way, on his own. Instead, he walked into the command tent, Chenqing gripped tightly in his hand, and Nie Mingjue didn’t so much as blink, just said, “Can you do anything but ambushes?” and the next thing he knew, it was three shichen later, he’d shared far more than he’d meant to about his new cultivation style, and there were eight different plans of attack that would greatly increase his effectiveness on the battlefield. It was – exhilarating, actually. (in which Nie Mingjue and Wei Wuxian become sworn brothers)

Listen. A-Qing loved food as much as any other self-respecting person of the global era, but this? This was about more than food. This was about art. This was about humor and science and culture and—and okay, two of the hottest men she'd ever seen in her life. --- A Youtube cooking channel au of Wangxian lmao --- Bonus channel descriptions: suibian, 6.39M subscribers: [太辣？不认识!] not a pro chef >:3c Cloud Recesses, 9.74M subscribers: Cloud Recesses is a food and entertainment media company based in Suzhou City. Our aim is to share one of the eight famous Chinese culinary art forms, 苏菜 (Su cuisine), with the world. WangXian Week 2020: Day Three: Celebrity | Rebirth | Mementos

Possibly some of these will become longer, but not yet. Currently featuring (among others): - child!Jin Ling gets himself kidnapped by a well-meaning Wen Ning - truth serum trope - Nie Huaisang steals the Ghost General - Nie sect adopts the Yiling Patriarch - a variety of arranged marriages - crossover (Leverage, Naruto, Legends of Tomorrow) - dragons dragons everywhere - unintentional black widow WWX - Jiang Cheng is thrown into the burial mounds - NHS wields a fan as a weapon - JC interferes with the events on the Qiongqi Path - Lan Sizhui is Wen Ruohan's son and meets him unknowingly - WWX is named chief cultivator - Jiang Yanli's spirit responds to Lan Wangji's constant playing of Inquiry - WWX & LWJ locked away behind the Wall - LWJ stays in the burial mounds but it affects him - JC does impossible things

Nie Mingjue leaves his first Discussion Conference as a Sect Leader early, desperately needing to find some fresh air and possibly something to hit. Instead he finds a small, dirty child that reminds him of his brother, cowering away from some dogs - Maybe he should take him home.

Once upon a time in Yiling, a rumor started about the Yiling Patriarch having started to collect a harem of beautiful young men from a variety of sects. (it was Nie Huaisang's fault) (to be fair, the porn didn't help)

Nie Mingjue would be the very first to admit that devious plotting was not his strong suit – but if it meant he could make things better, make it so that his brother never had to dirty his hands to avenge him, he would do his best. His best, in this instance, was a forbidden ritual that sent him back in time to before their father had died, before Wen Ruohan's perfidy was revealed, before Meng Yao was twisted by the world's cruelty, before Wei Wuxian was orphaned... Nie Mingjue had a lot to do and very little time in which to do it. Best to get started right away.