Nie Huaisang flips his fan shut with a fluid pivot of his wrist and taps it to his own mouth, signalling for Jiang Cheng to lower his voice. “So you can see just how serious this is! If it’s found out, we’ll really be in some strife.” “We?” Jiang Cheng gapes at him, and does not lower his voice at all. “We?! There is no we in this! This is a problem of your own making, it can be a problem of your own solving!”

"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion." Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples. "They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean." At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.

Eight years after the death of the only person Lan Wangji has ever wanted, his dragon Bichen inexplicably rises for her first mating flight.

“And here you are,” Yibo agrees. “What’s next?” Xiao Zhan shrugs. “Another flight, further out. A ship if I can sign on to one.” He grins at the thought, then peeks at Yibo. “I don’t suppose you know a crew who’s looking for a mechanic? I’m good with my hands,” he says, wiggling his fingers. Yibo raises his eyebrows and Xiao Zhan feels his ears turn hot. “Why not a ship of your own?” Yibo asks. Xiao Zhan snorts. “I didn’t cash in that much.” “You might be surprised,” Yibo says, and Xiao Zhan deflates a little. “And you were doing so good at not being a salesman,” he says resignedly, and Yibo grins. Xiao Zhan leaves the quiet, stable life of a shipyard mechanic for adventure in the stars; adventure finds him after the third drink.

A night hunt goes wrong when the group encounters a Qiongqi. While protecting his nephew, Jiang Cheng is hit with poison by the beast. They don’t have time to research an antidote, but prolonged dual cultivation with another cultivator will neutralize the poison... When he’s chosen for the job, Wei Wuxian is surprised, and determined to give his shidi a good time. Alternatively: In Which Yunmeng Recon Happens While Wei Wuxian is Balls Deep In Jiang Cheng.

It starts with a curse, Jin Guangyao’s last revenge, seeking to tarnish what he could never touch. Lan Xichen is prepared to die from it, if he must, taking the shame of it to his grave. He doesn’t expect his brother’s lover to figure out the situation, let alone that Wei Wuxian might be their best hope of dealing with the curse in a way that leaves all three of them with their self-respect intact. And he certainly doesn’t expect being slowly, carefully drawn into their relationship, and learning how to live again.

Baxia takes the shape of a woman with the body of a tiger and three heads, each more horrifying than the next. Huaisang is standing between her and his brother. Wings of ink and ash unfurl behind him as the white-throated needletail dissolves into nothing from Huaisang’s right flank and [defend] activates. “What do you want?” he asks. Shouts, really, through the screaming of the desert wind and the never-ending hum of Baxia’s energy. You know what I want, she says with three voices all at once. You know what I want, delicious one, pretty one. Jewel-snake, ink demon, fiend. - in which a sacrifice is made.

Xiao Zhan looks up, ears twitching. Yibo's staring straight at him, mouth hanging slightly open, a towel clutched around his waist. Oh, shit, Xiao Zhan thinks, blinking slowly once, twice, and then hops right back out the window again.

the power of dick saves the cultivation world SAY HELLO TO MY DUAL CULTIVATION AGENDA

“I would still like to be kissed,” Wangji says, and his hand is very hot on Lan Xichen’s cheek. Perhaps one of them has a fever, or they both do. He opens his mouth to ask if they should open the window for some cool air. His brother kisses him as if that is what Lan Xichen had intended. He will not be sure, later, whether it was.

Saving people, hunting things: the family business. Modern AU: the Nies are hit by a demon's death curse, which is NOT fuck or die - it's fuck AND die, a kind of reverse cultivation curse that's usually directed against cultivation partners, destroying their golden cores little by little every time they fuck. NOT a clever curse to use against brothers! ...except that the curse comes with a chaser: its targets share blisteringly horny sex dreams every night, as a way of encouraging them to go ahead and give in to the whole fuck-and-die schtick. Awkward. So it makes sense to search for a cure to the curse, right? Especially since the cure might actually help stabilise Mingjue's golden core. Obviously they have no intention of actually boning once they've got rid of the whole fuck-and-die curse... (...for the life of me I can't remember who suggested a Fuck AND Die trope on Twitter many weeks ago - evidently it has been living rent free in the back of my head ever since, though, and so here we have some Niecest.)

As a twisted gift for the sworn brotherhood of Nie Mingjue, Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao, Jin Guangshan slips heat triggering poison into his son’s tea. It has the opposite effect than he hopes, and instead of isolating Jin Guangyao from his sworn brothers, it deepens their bonds, making Jin Guangyao finally decide on whose side his loyalty lays.

It isn't even an accident, precisely—that might be the most humiliating thing about it. Lan Wangji had tasted the tea, expecting it to be precisely what it revealed itself to be; Lan Wangji had wanted to feel its effects, to gauge them, although he had expected them to be mild. He had brewed the tea himself. An entirely uncoerced and foolish act. Lan Wangji has a misadventure with an aphrodisiac. It works out for everyone.

“Sect Leader Lan,” he said. “Please help me.” Lan Qiren stared down at him in horror, quickly crouching to pull Nie Mingjue up again. “Me? You can’t be serious!” “It has to be you,” Nie Mingjue said. “Sect Leader Lan, please. Please. It can’t be Wen Ruohan. It can’t.”

“You’re going to stay in this cave,” Jiang Cheng says, arms spread wide to block the mouth of it, “or i will beat you until you are physically incapable of leaving it!” Jiang Cheng does, in fact, beat a Liu Qingge weakened by sex pollen. Then he beats... his meat (jk they smash)