Sidney is starting to get a reputation amongst the Pens for being the go-to guy for free childcare. Or, five times Sidney babysat and one time someone babysat for him.

"I think we've encountered something that's more in line with your job description than ours," Eliot said. "Could you get out to DC soon? Like now?"

"You will not encounter any rustic taverns, bards, or bowls of stew on these tours! Instead, expect nightclubs, rock singers, and lots of gourmet coffee."

There is something dangerous inside of Q.

Derek Hale is one half of indie duo Girls and the Dogs. He spent his late teens drinking and fucking his way around small clubs over the world, but now he is sober, sick of touring, and has rules. Or one rule at least, no hook ups on tour. When the guy with the impossibly tight t-shirt who calls himself Stiles follows him back to his bus one night after a show in London, he’s in no danger of breaking his rules because as Stiles quite categorically states, he is straight. Right… good luck with that Derek… Tagged with: Boy band AU, human AU, Europe, Coming Out, First Time, Romance, powerbottom!Derek, Indie Music

It's one thing to attract the attention of the alpha pack moving in on Beacon Hills, but when Stiles' magic reveals he's not just the resident magic user in town, he realizes there might be more to the Little Red nickname he's adopted as his own.

“Vancouver!” Sid turns and shouts at the last second as she goes through the doors. “Vancouver!” Geno yells back.

It all began when Ms. Frizzle got the letter from her niece.

SUCK IT, TJ OSHIE.

Of course he’d have his big gay revelation about his former teammate, in Columbus, during the middle of the fucking zombie apocalypse. That is the life of Jeff fucking Carter, as fucked up and pathetic as humanly possible.

Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

Totally, of course. A sex alien named Gerard dropped out of the sky to watch him jerk off. No way is his brain making this shit up.

One criminal consultant. One consulting detective. One serial killer. And one perhaps inadvisable bet...

Tazer gives it a couple of days and the beginning of a visit from Kaner's mom that exiles him back to his own condo before he says, "You're going to need a nanny."

Nice things begin to happen to Derek Hale and it kind of freaks him out.

25, openly bisexual and even more openly disinclined to stick around for breakfast, blond, and possessed of a college education that passed through 3 Ivies before ending up at a State campus that has a new Kane-funded Economics building, Patrick Kane is an open book. Less of a mystery novel and more of a cartoon pamphlet on avoiding STDs. Jon wishes he’d listened to his mom when she told him George Devereux from down the street had work going in his lawnmower repair business.

Seven ways Tony's personal jet gets demoted to 'transatlantic taxicab'. (Nobody believes him when he claims to mind.)

At the end of Advent Children, Cloud is offered a choice.

Kaner tries to fuck his way out of love. That goes as well as you might imagine. That's my summary. But liketheroad's summary is also applicable: In which THERE IS A BACHELOR AUCTION TO SAVE ALL THE PUPPIES OF CHICAGO AND TAZER IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO SAVE THOSE PUPPIES AND KANER TRIES TO FUCK HIS WAY OUT OF LOVE BUT OH TOO BAD FOR YOU KANER, YOU HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS FOR THAT.

Tony's not surprised Cap is the only one of them who had gotten a dose of the red stuff--he'd been in the middle of everything, as per usual--saving civilians and agents and kicking robot ass for the Free World. He's a little more surprised to discover that Darcy had been one of those agents. And by the time they're all stuck in the elevator together--Steve and Darcy pressed together in one corner, everybody else in the other—it doesn’t take long to figure out why the stupid villain they’d been fighting had stopped to fondle one of his bots

In a world where Sentinels, people with five heightened senses, bond mentally and spiritually with Guides, people gifted with empathetic powers, Tony Stark has spent thirty-three years overwhelmed by the emotions of those around him and running from his own. Sentinel Steve Rogers wakes up sixty years out of his own time and struggles to deal with the massive amount of new sensory input while trying to find his footing in a New York very different from the one he knew. When they finally find each other, how will their bond change them?

Okay, she thinks, in a zen-like state of calm: given a chump assignment, she not only managed to fall in a well, she somehow dragged Captain America--living legend, supersoldier, level 7 SHIELD consultant, and Avenger--down with her. This means two things: 1) Captain America knows who she is now, and thinks she’s a dumbass, and 2) SHIELD is probably going to make her disappear as punishment (likely by throwing her in another, deeper well and pretending she never existed). “Don’t mind me,” she says faintly. “I’m just gonna drown myself now.”

“You should come with me, you know,” Kaner says slowly, unclear how many drinks they’ve had at this point, or when they’d actually ditched the rest of the guys at the bar and ended up cabbing it to Johnny’s place. New Moon Shine: Stiles loves new moon nights. That One Time Tazer Got a Black Eye: That one time Tazer got a black eye. It takes an ocean not to break: “Come with you where?” “To the bathroom, Johnny,” Kaner says, rolling his eyes. “To Europe, ass.”

#no seriously #where’s the au #where some witches or warlocks or something turn stiles into a cat #and he lurks in wait in the abandoned train station #waiting for derek to walk by so stiles can blitz-attack his ankles

Stiles has been getting gifts lately… a lot of them.

Movie nights with Kaner become a thing once they begin to get recognized enough that physically going to the movies means he spends a couple of days waiting for the Deadspin exposé entitled Jonathan Toews and Patrick Kane Have Terrible Taste in Movies, Each Other to hit the internet.

Geno and Ovie move to America. Speaking English all the time is a little difficult; falling head over heels for Sidney Crosby is a lot harder. Especially since Geno can't seem to make himself talk to Sidney to save his life.

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

YOU MIGHT BE DEREK HALE: a two-voiced chat fic in which kalakirya and somnolentblue MIGHT BE DEREK HALE Better Than Rocketship Underpants: a two-voiced chat fic in which kalakirya and somnolentblue giggle over scott and stiles and allison and pancakes and Derek not being allowed to be angsty

rule!63 Derek, and how that plays out

Extremis has a few unexpected benefits.

Natasha hadn't exactly planned on ending the evening stuck inside a disused SHIELD bunker, but here they were, and they'd have to make the best of it.

" Clint and Steve have both seen Natasha’s report on Tony and expect him to be a certain way. With Pepper now out of the picture, Bruce in India and Thor is Asgard they have no one to show them just how wrong first impressions can be."

"When Tony is pinned down, armourless, in a workshop during an assault on Stark/Avengers Tower, Clint is meant to be the cavalry. When he arrives, though, he finds that the enemy may have picked the wrong workshop to try and take Tony in. JARVIS, it turns out, really doesn't take prisoners. Author's Note: Clint and Tony, Tony and his babies, basically. Came out ... rather darker and more violent than I anticipated -_-; No, seriously. VIOLENT."

"Request is for trolls having 'opposite parts'. I know it doesn't really make sense with all the references to bone bulges, but let's pretend that troll men have vaginas and troll ladies have cocks. I want to see a troll and and one of the kids hook up and have lots of "oh god wtf you're backwards" confusion and alarm. I don't really care which pairing it is, but there's a lot of them it could be hilarious/cute with (John/Karkat, Rose/Kanaya, Dave/Terezi, Jade/Tavros, etc.) If it ends up being a troll girl with a human guy, bonus points for pegging!"

Stiles would have asked who in their right mind thought a kissing booth was a good idea for a fundraiser, except – oh, right – he’s on a lacrosse team populated entirely by male models.

Dave knows his bro is into some weird stuff. Knows he runs a questionable paysite with a smorgasbord of kinks. And yeah─ that’s really… something. Something he tries not to think over too much. But when he comes home one night to find Dirk in a dress and a deal on the table, he can’t ignore it any longer.

The Darkness does not mix well with paradox space, nor does Craft mesh smoothly with the game mechanics of Sburb. Jade Harley makes plans to keep her friends safe despite the coming alteration of the natural laws they've relied on all their lives.

Between the kanima, the Argents, and Peter's untimely return from the dead, everything has fallen apart. Stiles and Derek try to put their lives back together once the crisis has passed. Stiles deals with the aftermath of being tortured, and the distance growing between him and Scott. Derek attempts to become a stronger alpha and keep his pack safe, and that includes Stiles.

After a hard shift saving the world, Stark - in his infinite wisdom - has decided to bond with Steve by talking about his favorite subject. Well, third favorite, after building things and smart-mouthing people. Steve is pretty sure none of his experiences really count. Tony is starting to wonder what Steve's definition of "is" is.

See title.

Dean goes to pick Sam up from Stanford and ends up finding more than he bargained for.

Steve is adapting well to the new millennium, and he has the dictionary to prove it.

The band thinks Patrick lost his tattoo virginity.

It all starts with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pez dispenser.

In which Derek and Stiles are essentially a married couple. Except they're not actually dating.

Make A Down Payment on a Bigger Bone: Danny had watched the way Stiles’ cheeks colored when Coach handed him back his condom. He had watched the proud little nod of his head when Scott looked at him like he was impressed. He had watched the way he walked, nay swaggered, up to the front of the classroom to take his shot at risk and reward. Give Me Just a Little Bit More: “I’m just being ridiculous. I mean, we agreed on it at the beginning. That this was strictly a no-strings fuck-a-friend kind of thing.” Stiles keeps talking like Danny isn’t standing beside him trying to rewrite all his views on Stiles with this new information. It’s... a little intense. “Is it wrong of me to feel like I deserve more than that?” He Wakes When He Dreams: Stiles huffs. “Come on, Danny! Just do this one little thing for me and I swear I’ll never bother you about anything ever again.” “One little thi-? Stiles, this is not a little thing!”

sometimes you have to go down before you can go out.

You're my best friend now. So you know." A collection of comical short stories about Cloud, Zack and Sephiroth while they were working for Shin-Ra.

Steve is instantly taken with this idea of having the picture of the person calling you flash on your screen when they ring your cell. Feedback: wuved and hugged and called George