There’s the quiet knock of his assistant, Su She, at the door. He likes to hover anxiously outside the glass walls of his office as if Meng Yao can’t see him. This is usually followed by Meng Yao waving him in wordlessly, taking something or filing something or approving something whilst Su She wrings his hands. Today, Meng Yao has to balance the phone between his ear and shoulder as Su She passes him a baby. *** Yet another illegitimate Jin baby appears and Jin Guangshan takes no responsibility. Meng Yao has to do everything around here.

“Did you break the ward to come in?” Lan Wangji asks, point-blank. He has his sword out and pointed at Wei Wuxian, no bothering with niceties like hello I’m Lan Wangji, and you are? Wei Wuxian eyes the sword, but doesn’t react. He keeps lazing back on the roof, casually drinking his wine, as if this is the usual way he meets new people. (And maybe it is! I don’t know your life, Wei Wuxian!) Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian meet on Season 8 of The Cultivation World. Ouyang Zizhen writes the recaps.

In which there was a picture of Wang Yibo looking very smart in a skirt on twitter, and it made me write my first fic in a year. aka: waxing, and spanking, and love, oh my.

The juniors squad gets an apartment together at university and hijinks ensue. Or, how Jingyi and Sizhui finally got their shit together, Zizhen figured himself out, and Jin Ling had a really good time.

“Don’t worry A-Cheng, this is the kind of party that expects everyone to be using fake names. It would be horribly against the rules for anyone to acknowledge who you actually are, even if they do recognise either of you. Trust me, there will be far more interesting things going on than watching Chifeng-zun and Sandu Shengshou tonight. All you have to do is play it cool, make it seem like you’re there for the same reasons as everyone else, and nobody will meet your eyes. Piece of cake!” Huaisang sounds positively chipper, which means Jiang Cheng is almost certainly going to have the worst night of his life tonight. Or: Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue steal a sex party

"Hi, I'm Wei Wuxian. I'm a Career Omega and this is my fourth season on the show. I like spicy food, archery and alphas who are funny. Or maybe I don't, I haven't rolled over for one yet." On-screen, Wei Wuxian winks at the audience laughter. Hot or Knot is the world's most popular reality TV show. Part dating show, part survival show, Hot or Knot is everyone's guilty pleasure - and Wei Wuxian is a fan favourite. - The Love Island/Hunger Games reality dating tv show A/B/O au

Prompt: Nie Huaisang buys Jiang Cheng a “baby on sword” (like baby on board lmao) pendant as a joke but Jiang Cheng actually uses it

Jiang Cheng is sort of having a complicated night. She tilts her chin up, moving to the beat of the track, and her eyes slide over him, top to bottom. The beat goes dirty and buzzing and she has to raise her voice to say, “I don’t do straight guys.” Someone grinds against him and he looks down at the prettiest girl he’s ever seen and says, stupid with something to prove, “Good thing I’m not straight, then.” He sounds like he’s sure of it, even though he’s not, but his best decisions have always been forced out of him by people bolder than he is.

Having a crush on your roommate is really embarrassing, except that's apparently the opposite of a problem. Jiang Cheng can't deny that's pretty convenient. Wei Ying holds it up, a series of straps and buckles and velcro and wow, really a lot of leather. It has absolutely no conceivable form beyond tangled. Nie Huaisang opens the door at exactly the moment that Wei Ying holds the thing up to Jiang Cheng’s chest, as if he’s trying to imagine how exactly it would fit onto a person, and it falls into a tangled pile between them while they stare at Huaisang in mild mortification.

Thursdays are for boxing. Thursdays are for Nie Mingjue. He pretends, sometimes, that they’re peers, even though they’re in different weight classes and always will be. He likes spitting and snarling at Nie Mingjue just to see what he’ll do, to push and shove at the boundaries. Nie Mingjue, it feels like sometimes, has self control the way that ponds have ice in the late fall- delicately and temporarily and easily disturbed.

It feels, sometimes, like Jiang Cheng's waiting to have a bad day so he has an excuse. It’s a Tuesday and Jiang Cheng finds himself huddled under the portico in front of Nie Mingjue’s impressive double-doors, wondering what the fuck he’s doing with his life. He’s drenched to the bone, all of his formal clothes sticking to all of his skin, waiting for someone to answer the door before he freezes to death. Or maybe he’ll just freeze to death! Maybe that’s the option at play here. Considering how the rest of his night is going, he doesn’t think it’d actually be all that surprising.

Sometimes Jin Zixuan's life is complicated. When it comes to Jiang Yanli, though, things just seem to make perfect sense. Jin Zixuan loves his wife very much, but it is undeniable that she’s a little evil. Considering how terrible her brothers are, he counts himself lucky that her evil manifests, generally, in the form of playful mischief as opposed to, for example, putting beetles in his sheets. Unlike some Jiang siblings he could name.

Xue Yang's pretty sure that he could be a better girlfriend to Song Lan than whoever the fuck he's actually dating. Like, pretty sure. Almost certain. (xue yang and song lan go to the same gym, and xue yang has never been good at resisting temptation)

It doesn't take an especially strategic mind to recognize that a poorly-maintained weapon is no weapon at all. Nie Mingjue can fix that.

Wen Ning has lived as a sentient fierce corpse for about four hundred years. Going back in time could have been an accident, but isn't.

If Wen Qing had realized sooner that she wasn’t in the afterlife or hallucinating, but had actually traveled back in time, she’d have done things differently. There’d have been less murder, for one thing.

“No, please repeat that,” Lao Nie said. He had his fingers drilled into his temples and was rubbing them in nice, calming circular motions that were doing absolutely nothing to stem his headache. “I’m not sure I heard you correctly. What was that about...did you really say 'enrichment and stimulation'?” “It’s about Wen Zhuliu,” Nie Huaisang chirped, and Nie Mingjue, standing next to him and holding his hand in encouragement, nodded in agreement. “And how he's been ever since he joined the Nie sect. We haven’t been using him enough, or at least not in the way he’s accustomed to being used. So we’re worried that he’s starting to feel like we don’t appreciate him.” “Don’t appreciate him.” “Uh-huh. Because he did all that work to learn the Core-Melting Technique, and you almost never let him use it, so we’re worried that maybe he’s – you know – da-ge, what’s the word…” “Unfulfilled.”

The first time Jin Guangshan mentioned it, Jin Guangyao felt a great surge of relief – at last, he thought. At last someone else that isn’t me notices it!

Wei Ying might be an alpha but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to get fucked and knotted sometimes, okay? So, after buying herself a knotting dildo, she sets out to make her dreams come true. Unfortunately, the dildo gets a little... stuck... Luckily, her roommate, Lan Zhan, is home to lend a helping hand!

Meet the Queens of Gusu’s Drag Race Season 5! by QIN SU Oh my god, we’re back again. Hot on the heels of the shocking finale of season 4, Gusu’s Drag Race is back, with perennial judge Lan Qiren, Gusu’s grumpiest shufu, and featuring the return of the grandmother of drag Baoshan Sanren. And this season is already promising one. “We’ve never had such a strong cast of refined, professional queens. It has the makings to be the greatest season of Drag Race yet.” Big talk for the Emmy-award-winning show that has shot dozens of queens to fame, bringing drag to the mainstream. “The mainstream may be taking notice, but there’s nothing mainstream about drag done right,” says co-host Baoshan Sanren. “Drag is about disobedience. It’s rebellious and anti-mainstream by its very definition, and we’ve got some queens this season with the chops to prove it.” With all that to look forward to, let’s Meet the Queens who’ve already captivated our judges.

A generous allowance from his parents or Wei Wuxian in his life: Jiang Cheng would make the same choice a thousand times over, but his grad school stipend is barely enough to support himself, let alone the two of them. An arrangement with an older man might keep his head above water—if he doesn't wade in too deep.

Meng Shi was no ordinary prostitute; she was a Courtesan. When Sect Leader Jin threw her out she knew better than to think he was worth her, or her baby's, time. Meng Yao knows this and take a different route to gain influence in the Cultivation world. One that leads him to some similar places, and people, and some very different outcomes.

“Would you believe that I’m a saber spirit?” the ghost asked. “Or maybe an ancestor?” “No,” Nie Mingjue said. He did not put down the exorcism talisman. The ghost sighed. “Well, it was worth a shot.” Before Nie Mingjue could do anything more, the ghost rushed at him – taken aback, Nie Mingjue flinched, and when he opened his eyes again the ghost was gone. He still pinned the talisman onto the swaddling wrapped around his baby brother, who was grumbling in sleepy dissatisfaction at having been nearly woken up. He wasn’t taking any chances with his brother’s health.

Wen Ning has lived as a sentient fierce corpse for about four hundred years. Going back in time could have been an accident, but isn't.

Prompt: JZX/JYL/NHS: JZX is the noble one, trying to make the Jin Sect a better place. JYL is the strong one, in a quiet but significant way. NHS is the gremlin monster who will destroy anyone who even looks at them wrong. (Bonus for Jin Ling ! )

Prompt: Along with forming a golden core most cultivators gain the ability to shapeshift. What they shift into depends on the cultivator, but there are certain tendencies in bloodlines. Jiang Cheng has shifted exactly once in absolute privacy. He didn't stay shifted after finding scales and claws instead of feathers and wings, some sort of reptile from the Yu bloodline. He's since been pretending not to be able to shift at all, but you can only deny your nature for so long.

Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng have a...decent sex life. It's okay! And she loves him so much they could have no sex life at all and it would, of course, be fine. But what if what they do have could be better? It's worth finding out anyway, and Jiang Cheng seems to have somethng in mind that he won't pluck up the courage to tell her. // “I thought you might fuck me, when you started kissing me like that,” Jiang Cheng says in a rush, letting go of Wen Qing's hips to clap his hands over his eyes as his next exhale rattles on its way out. “I thought - but you said before that you don’t - so I never asked you to and I won’t ask you to because your reasons are so valid and it’s not important as long as I can keep you in my life but I’m not good enough this way -“ “What part of it do you need the most?” she asks, petting his hair slowly. “Do you need me inside of you or do you need me to take care of you, or is it both? What’s the most important part?” He stops to genuinely think on it. But then..“I’m fine with what we have,” he replies finally, an echo of her own words weeks ago when this all started.

“Well!” Wei Wuxian exclaims with deliberate cheer, clapping his hands together once. “This is terrible! But it could be much worse. You could be stuck here going into heat all alone!” “I would prefer that,” Lan Zhan says, flat. “You say that…” He wags an admonishing finger at Lan Zhan. “But it’s actually your very, very great good fortune to be stuck here in this cave with me specifically, because I am an expert at having your heat in the middle of nowhere, with no one around, and no supplies.”

Jin Zixuan has been in love with Jiang Yanli for years, even if he knows she isn't human, but he knows he has no chance with her because of how terribly he treated her back in high school... or so he thinks. One night at a party they meet and end up hooking up, and uh, it might be a little more than he bargained for (but he isn't complaining).

Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan's first vacation after their wedding takes them to the Unclean Realm. Away from their parents and with a handsome man like Nie Mingjue by their side, their nights are spend fruitfully.

Jiang Yanli takes Jin Zixuan apart in their bed.