Five+one people who assumed Cam and Eric were dating.

On the list of "Things Karkat Needs to Remember To Pack for Surviving This Fucking Game, In Order of Priority," hair styling utensils fell somewhere between "rubble that crushed my lusus" and "last sweep's decomposable trash, recently unburied from the back lawnring, along with all those bodies of the undead I had to kill." In other words, somebody needs to give that boy a brush.

"The biceps peeking out of the sleeves, stretching the material thin and tight, are a lot more impressive than Geno remembers. He would have remembered if Sid had arms like that."

Sydney Crosby had never thought that breaking the NHL’s gender barrier was going to be easy. She just hadn’t expected it to be so hard.

The first girl Sid ever falls in love with is named Rachel Forbes. When he first meets her, she’s four weeks old, pink, and squishy-looking. Objectively, she’s kind of ugly, but she’s so tiny when he sees her in the incubator at NICU, and he’s never seen a baby that small.

“Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”

[He's gotten good at not touching people, and he knows that his methods are considered weird by the internet and most of the world, but they keep him sane and focused on hockey. It's not so bad on the ice, when hockey's the only thing, and there are inches of pads and cloth between skin and skin. Off ice, he developed a habit of shoving his hands as far into his pockets as they could go, until a PR agent told him in high school that it made him look sullen and untouchable. After that, he took to just barely sticking his fingers in his pockets, a more subtle "don't touch me" that doesn't make him slouch too badly. He's beginning to realize that that the action is possibly more awkward than just sticking his hands all the way into his pockets, but it's habit now, and hard to break.] Or, Sidney is telepathic, which explains 95% of his idiosyncrasies.

Eric’s always been pretty discreet about hooking up with people, Cam can’t remember ever actually seeing him leave with anyone on these team outings. Most of the time he seems perfectly content to hang out with the team, hang out with Cam, even though he could hook up with just about anyone easily enough. Very easily, Cam thinks, a little grimly, as Eric ducks his head a little and the lights catch in his hair.

Sidney Crosby has known a few things for most of his life: he knows that he loves hockey more than anything, he knows that 87 is his lucky number, and he knows that he’s gay.

By the fourth time Crosby has hung up on him, Alex has to admit that this has gone from funny to, frankly, a little hurtful.

“I’ve had that since I was eighteen,” Sidney moans. “My grandma gave it to me after the draft. It’s my good luck necklace.”

So ‘Zhenya’ is a private name. It’s something Sid says to wake Geno up late at night when he’s half-asleep on the couch and needs to be cajoled to bed. It’s something Sid calls him first thing in the morning when Geno's made him breakfast instead of letting Sid eat his sad granola another day. It’s the name Sid whispers when he hugs Geno after a win and tells him he’s proud.

Brent doesn't understand why his linemate and roommate is being so weird about his Olympic fling with Johnny Weir.

Being telepathic saves a ton of money on phone bills. In which Jeff and Mike develop telepathy after they're traded from Philadelphia.

Sidney's drunk when he orders a Russian bride. He doesn't expect anyone to show up - and he definitely doesn't expect that person to be an awkward-looking guy who barely speaks English.

Sidney groans, because this is ridiculous. “I think I’m having an allergic reaction,” he says.

"For fuck's sake, Gibbs — is this some kind of exchange program that I don't know about?"

"For fuck's sake, Gibbs — is this some kind of exchange program that I don't know about?"

Gibbs sometimes wonders what he did to deserve these morons, but then he looks through the one-way window at three naked and extremely uncomfortable-looking Marines and figures it could be worse.

Cloud has an accident with a Time materia. If he wants to save the world, there's a person who has to die.

Elle Woods, "I always did like a challenge"

Dave knows his bro is into some weird stuff. Knows he runs a questionable paysite with a smorgasbord of kinks. And yeah─ that’s really… something. Something he tries not to think over too much. But when he comes home one night to find Dirk in a dress and a deal on the table, he can’t ignore it any longer.

“Chuck,” Becky said, slowly and carefully and very, very seriously. “I think someone is trying to communicate with us through the fanfic.”

Stiles would have asked who in their right mind thought a kissing booth was a good idea for a fundraiser, except – oh, right – he’s on a lacrosse team populated entirely by male models.

Laura and Derek are together a lot; Stiles doesn’t think anyone at Beacon Hills High School hasn’t had a naughty thought about their relationship at least once.

"He's a collector," Neal said. // "Just don't get into trouble while we're gone," Nate said.

It is a well-established fact in marine biology that the octopus is the drunk texter of the cephalopod family.

Geno can't. Sidney won't.

Dave and Karkat have a little fight over who pushed the buttons that swapped their species, and it turns into extensive scientific experimentation of a different kind altogether.

on occasion of the strider-pyrope wedding

Iron Man is the Red Ranger, naturally, Captain America is Blue, Hulk is Green… and then it gets tricky. Let’s say Thor is Yellow, because of his blonde hair; Black Widow has to be black because of her outfit and her name, which means Hawkeye by default is the Pink Ranger.

“We should have sober sex,” Patrick says, rolling his neck until it pops loudly. He really should be thinking about getting up off of the floor. “Why would we do that?” Jonny asks, twisting to look down at Patrick like he just suggested that they throw puppies into traffic.

Last week Sidney had said, "We're totally fucked," and started hyperventilating; Geno had made calming noises for the next hour. Then Sidney'd gone out and had to deliver semi-positive soundbites, since apparently he is now the face of the "we can still have a season, please don't give up on us, we are trying so fucking hard" contingent.

Wherein Sidney Crosby gets laid, and Russian diplomacy saves the day.

Trades suck. One way to avoid them? Marrying your best friend.

Unexplained, unapologetic species-swap PWPs. First two are mainly porn, last two will be mainly feelings.

It's one thing to know that Kaner and Tazer are weird about each other, and another thing to actually see it. (or: several people who unfortunately had to interact with them, and one time they got to be alone).

BUT WHAT IF INVESTIGATION FOR MARRIAGE FRAUD:

In which Sidney Crosby goes for a walk one day, and somehow most of the NHL ends up worshipping a defaced Winnipegian brick. It's all Jonny Toews' fault.

Some things are trickier than expected when you've had surgery on both wrists.

P.K. finally gets Carey to come hang out over the summer.

The third time, Sidney is taking out the trash, and the boy is having a staring match with a raccoon.

When the Beacon Hills lacrosse team made a bet with the Beacon Hills cheerleading squad, Stiles should have recognized the smirks on the girls' faces and stopped the whole thing right there.

“Hey, Scott, so, I uh, there’s this amazingly hot guy and I’m uh, gonna spend the weekend with him but, you know, just to be careful, I’m sending you his picture, so if by some terrible chance my bloated corpse shows up sometime Monday, just, y’know pass this along to the authorities.” He pauses. “Uh. Kidding?” and then hangs up with a rush of air. “That is the worst voicemail in the history of voicemails,” Derek says.

Multifandom rec blog

Sidney Crosby gets hit on the head and wakes up with extra memories.

Geno can't. Sidney won't.

You push yourself up to a sitting position. "Bro," you say. "Long time no see." You manage to keep your voice almost totally steady, even. He's sitting cross-legged in the sand, his elbows on his knees, his katana planted point-down next to him. His horns echo the shape of his shades, jagged outward-facing points. You wonder what yours look like, but you think you'd lose points for reaching up to cop a feel of your own headgear. "Come on. We don't exactly have the high ground out here."

Kakashi distracts Iruka from work for a while. Written for the Porn Battle prompt: Kakashi/Iruka, authority. Porn with Characterization. Vaguely associated with the Avalanche 'verse, but not actually part of the arc.

Stiles is in an imminent sexual situation and, being the awkward virgin that he is, has no idea how to go about getting condoms or what size to get. Rather than asking Scott, he calls Danny. Because you don't talk to your best friend about what your penis is up to or who it's going to be in. And Danny's smart, right? Good plan?