"I think we've encountered something that's more in line with your job description than ours," Eliot said. "Could you get out to DC soon? Like now?"

Sidney is starting to get a reputation amongst the Pens for being the go-to guy for free childcare. Or, five times Sidney babysat and one time someone babysat for him.

Parker walks in on Eliot pleasuring himself but doesn't realize. She decides to stay and chat. Eliot isn't happy

N/A (title really says it all)

Yeah, Billy's a superhero, and that's awesome. But he's still a teenager, and that means answering to his folks.

The Avengers hold interventions a la How I Met Your Mother.

kalpurna: is it weird that I want an original character to call Stiles a cock tease and Stiles is like WHAT and Derek is like what. drunktuesdays: lol that's so specific! why? kalpurna: BECAUSE YOU MADE A TUMBLR POST THAT USED THAT PHRASE AND EVERYTHING IS ABOUT TEEN WOLF + PEOPLE SHOULD TRY TO GET ON STILES'S DICK AND DEREK SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT???? MAYBE I JUST LIKE TO THINK ABOUT STILES TEASING COCKS????????????????

“I’ve had that since I was eighteen,” Sidney moans. “My grandma gave it to me after the draft. It’s my good luck necklace.”

"Watching Stiles heal someone has always been a little uncomfortable for Derek, like he's seeing something intimate and private that shouldn't have an audience. That's nothing compared to how it feels." This is an AU in which Stiles has magical healing powers.

All Our Exploring: "We shall not cease from exploration And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we started And know the place for the first time." - T.S. Eliot, Little Gidding. sometimes i feel: "I think I've missed a crucial turn in this conversation," Stiles says, practically into Scott's mouth because holy shit they are so so close now what is this, is this real. in a shower of: jonny washes patrick's hair; patrick doesn't hate it. Keep an Open Mind: They’ve had this connection for nearly as long as they’ve known each other; Patrick doesn’t know why it happened, what made it so that out of all the people in the world, it’s Johnny and only Johnny whose thoughts he can read, but there it is. One day it was just Patrick in his head, and the next, he’d woken up with the background awareness of Johnny in there too, and a panicked, thumping voice saying, Oh, shit. You too? Strange Days: "I don't want to talk to Deaton. I don't want to be another supernatural problem to be dealt with." No Business Like Show Business: In which Merlin is promoted from production intern to talent, is easily mortified, and has Post-It arguments with Arthur while the art department watches in glee. Also, there are gay dragons. Gone to the Dogs: Jonathan Toews turns into a puppy. Then some other stuff happens. what i'm saying is i need you here: Pat’s been carrying around these feelings for Johnny like an extra limb for years, now. It sucks, a little bit, but mostly it’s not too bad. Sometimes it blindsides her, though, like when the lockout ends and she comes back home. The Law of Conservation of Pants: Or, Five Things Darcy Lewis Thought She Knew Before She Met the Avengers (And One Thing That Will Always Be True). In which Darcy is put in charge of Social Media relations for the Avengers and finds that 5/6th of them challenge the things she thought she believed.

TFLN: My dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for Sunday brunch next week. You in?

All hail Stiles, the Fixer of Wolves.

“I called you a slave-driver!” Stiles cried hysterically. “I called you an ogre! I stole all the blue paperclips!” Derek raised an eyebrow at him. “That’s company property!” he shouted, waving his arms madly in distress. Derek ran a hand over his face. “It’s not theft if the vice president of the company gives you permission.” (Otherwise known as the Elevator AU)

Stiles had plenty of experience with putting himself out there and getting shot down.

Derek thinks he's doing alright in life, with his family at his side and a job he loves. Despite his family's concerns he remains adamant that he doesn't need a mate, afraid to take the risk of letting anyone close enough to try to hurt his family again. That is until he realizes that his true mate has been right under his nose for years, and that now through his inaction he may lose him.

Avatar Toph does not like the North Pole. AU.

In which El is a vampire slayer, Peter is a watcher, and Neal is a wayward sorcerer.

In which Stiles explores a few off-label uses of mountain ash.

A story about not!Russians, the Atlantis Hockey League, accidental offworld marriages (of course) and the intergalactic sex appeal of the mullet.

Modern AU. Arthur and Morgana are Metropolitan police officers drawn into a strange case involving robbery of ancient artifacts. Merlin is a graduate student at Imperial College studying the healing plants of Ancient Britain under Gaius – or at least that's what he tells everyone. Soon they, along with Gwen, Lancelot and Uther, will be facing a battle for the future of the country. Can they defend the realm from those who would seek to destroy it?

“I’m not his date,” John snaps, for what must be the fucking umpteenth time in the fucking week.

It certainly wasn't the first time he'd been woken up at ridiculous o'clock; it wasn't even the first time he'd been woken up at ridiculous o'clock in London, in the comfort of his own flat. But as John Watson's fingers closed reflexively over the handle of the bedside drawer, yanked, and then plunged inside to close around the familiar weight of his side arm, he realised that it was the first time he'd been woken up by Sherlock Holmes silhouetted on the threshold of his room, with a feather in his hair, snapping his fingers peremptorily and announcing: “Gun. Now.”

One would think being a famous astronaut, the darling of the Royal Spacefaring Corps and the heir to the throne besides, would afford him certain privileges. But oh, no, of course not; because he was the best pilot (or so they told him, and who was he to argue?) he got tasked with the most dangerous operations in the most experimental spacecraft. Which would not normally be a problem – after all, it wasn’t a boast that Arthur could fly anything with a fusion engine – but clearly the new Excalibur craft had been cobbled together out of spare parts and welded into a whole with chewed-up Maynard’s Wine Gums, because he was only halfway to Epsilon Eridani when bits began to fly off the bloody thing and he had to ditch on the nearest planet before the entire cockpit fell apart around him...

"The likelihood of finding a cab on Christmas Eve is fast approaching nil." "So was the likelihood of you kissing me in the middle of the pavement, and yet."

Uther fears his son's power, and Merlin has helped Arthur flee to escape imprisonment. Now the two of them must fight to regain Arthur's rightful place in Camelot.

A few months have passed since the Avengers fought the Chitauri, and the team is coming together, except for Tony, who seems to be coming apart. At first, Steve assumes that he's just being irresponsible and annoying, but then JARVIS clues him in.

"Because I promise you, if this happens again, which I know it won't, this place will burn."

Stark is arrogant, offensive, insensitive and everything Steve Rogers hates about the twenty first century, but not everything is as it seems. Companion piece to Iron Man Yes, Tony Stark…Not Recommended and runs simultaneously with those events.

Snow is the beginner's substance of choice for all cave-ins and trapped-in-the-wilderness scenarios. Why couldn't it have been snow?

"The SHIELD interceptor spaceship Avenger is under final attack. Aboard her, sitting in his cell, the war criminal Tony Stark gets ready for the confrontation, and the revelation, that he knows is about to come. Roughly 6000 words of a random Space Opera AU."

To marry an Addams means taking marriage very seriously. After all, it is till death do you part. And even then, sometimes they come back.

The first thing Merlin Emrys thought when he was born, was "Oh, hell no."

One criminal consultant. One consulting detective. One serial killer. And one perhaps inadvisable bet...

Steve takes things like personal responsibility and respect seriously. Tony's got people he pays to take care of that kind of thing, and anyway, he's pretty sure that he's going to die of some exotic disease in his workshop, because Dummy's still a little spotty about what is 'clean' enough to put on an open wound. The rest of the Avengers are in this for personal gain, except for Clint, he just enjoys being a dick. And some things shouldn't be a chore.

"You've got a hickey on the back of your neck!" A Neckz 'n Throats story.

Tazer gives it a couple of days and the beginning of a visit from Kaner's mom that exiles him back to his own condo before he says, "You're going to need a nanny."

In breaking news, surprising no one, Sharpy is a dick.

It takes 140 characters or less and one absolute fucking moron to change Jon's entire life forever. He should have known all along it would be Kaner. It always is.

Nice things begin to happen to Derek Hale and it kind of freaks him out.

25, openly bisexual and even more openly disinclined to stick around for breakfast, blond, and possessed of a college education that passed through 3 Ivies before ending up at a State campus that has a new Kane-funded Economics building, Patrick Kane is an open book. Less of a mystery novel and more of a cartoon pamphlet on avoiding STDs. Jon wishes he’d listened to his mom when she told him George Devereux from down the street had work going in his lawnmower repair business.

Seven ways Tony's personal jet gets demoted to 'transatlantic taxicab'. (Nobody believes him when he claims to mind.)

At the end of Advent Children, Cloud is offered a choice.

Kaner tries to fuck his way out of love. That goes as well as you might imagine. That's my summary. But liketheroad's summary is also applicable: In which THERE IS A BACHELOR AUCTION TO SAVE ALL THE PUPPIES OF CHICAGO AND TAZER IS THE ONE WHO HAS TO SAVE THOSE PUPPIES AND KANER TRIES TO FUCK HIS WAY OUT OF LOVE BUT OH TOO BAD FOR YOU KANER, YOU HAVE TOO MANY FEELINGS FOR THAT.

Tony's not surprised Cap is the only one of them who had gotten a dose of the red stuff--he'd been in the middle of everything, as per usual--saving civilians and agents and kicking robot ass for the Free World. He's a little more surprised to discover that Darcy had been one of those agents. And by the time they're all stuck in the elevator together--Steve and Darcy pressed together in one corner, everybody else in the other—it doesn’t take long to figure out why the stupid villain they’d been fighting had stopped to fondle one of his bots

By the fourth time Crosby has hung up on him, Alex has to admit that this has gone from funny to, frankly, a little hurtful.

In a world where Sentinels, people with five heightened senses, bond mentally and spiritually with Guides, people gifted with empathetic powers, Tony Stark has spent thirty-three years overwhelmed by the emotions of those around him and running from his own. Sentinel Steve Rogers wakes up sixty years out of his own time and struggles to deal with the massive amount of new sensory input while trying to find his footing in a New York very different from the one he knew. When they finally find each other, how will their bond change them?

Okay, she thinks, in a zen-like state of calm: given a chump assignment, she not only managed to fall in a well, she somehow dragged Captain America--living legend, supersoldier, level 7 SHIELD consultant, and Avenger--down with her. This means two things: 1) Captain America knows who she is now, and thinks she’s a dumbass, and 2) SHIELD is probably going to make her disappear as punishment (likely by throwing her in another, deeper well and pretending she never existed). “Don’t mind me,” she says faintly. “I’m just gonna drown myself now.”

Derek is thrown into a violent heat in the wake of Lydia and Peter's actions at the end of Party Guessed. Debilitated by his own needs, Derek reaches out to Stiles, the only person he wants and can hope to trust.

rule!63 Derek, and how that plays out

“You like happy endings, huh?” Stiles says, lying pressed in against his back, sliding his fingers along the edge of Derek’s chest, along his ribs and up his sternum.