Lan Zhan is glaring at him. That's probably fair. The last time they'd seen each other, Wei Ying had been digging through Lan Zhan's garbage. They'd made eye contact over the shredded bags, the week's trash scattered around him like stinky, oversized Lego. Lan Zhan's eyes had been wide with horror, and Wei Ying's had been equally wide with feigned innocence. He'd reached out slowly, maintaining the eye contact, and then flipped over the food waste bin full of onion peel and carrot skin as a distraction and slunk off into the night. Probably not his finest moment. - Modern AU dragon!LWJ meets fox!WWX.

“He’s so beautiful,” Lan Zhan says, tongue loosened by the weed. Besides, Mianmian’s room is his safe space. He can say what he likes here, so he does. “I want to know what his mouth tastes like. I want him to put his mouth on my—” “No, no, no, no,” Jin Zixuan says, making an X with his arms. “For the love of Christ, keep it PG-13, please.” — In which Lan Zhan gets high, slides into Wei Ying's DMs, and somehow ends up having the harmonica played to him at 2am in the morning.

Song Lan likes Xue Yang, obviously. Song Lan likes folding laundry too. Xue Yang is not sure where he ranks in Song Lan’s likes, along the scale from folding laundry to Xiao Xingchen.

soft, domestic friends-to-lovers modern/celebrity au ft. musician jiang cheng & artist nie huaisang

Li Bowen can have a little intimacy. As a treat. (Or: the one where the Yi City actors have a threesome in a hotel room.)

“Maybe we could just – not talk. Until the effect wears off.” “It shouldn’t be that hard,” Lan Xichen said encouragingly. “Given that it’s us.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Nie Mingjue asked suspiciously. “Well, it’s not like the three of us ever talk anymore,” he said, and then slapped his hand over his mouth. Jin Guangyao could not wait for the truth-compelling effects of the smoke to wear off.

nyargles)

Wei Ying was sprawled on the floor in front of the oscillating fan when Lan Zhan got home from work.

There once was a man who traveled free And the name of the man was Lan Wangji The winds blew all around his guan Blow, me bully boys, blow Soon may Hanguang-jun come So our juniors won't be overrun One day when the night hunt is done We'll take our leave and go

Mingjue hadn't even realised Meng Yao still had her number when she texts to invite herself over at eleven o'clock at night.

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian got together, of course. They're still figuring things out. Just gratuitous porn. Sometimes that's all you need.

“- and in one generation, they were all women, every single one of them!” “That seems remarkably unlikely,” Wen Ruohan remarked, and looked sidelong at Lan Qiren. “Don’t you think, Sect Leader Lan?” Lan Qiren had no idea the trouble his answer was about to cause.

modern au Lotus Pier is a company that Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan started together when they got married

You seem kind of evil, Baxia remarked when she first met the flute. Yeah? The flute responded without first bothering to extend her perceptive aura out to see who was talking to her, sounding like a little punk, arrogant and bold. Well, you seem kind of – oh fuck oh fuck you’re terrifying! This was true. Baxia was terrifying. Please don’t destroy me! My master needs me! Baxia said nothing, enjoying how the flute squirmed, and nudged her own master pointedly. Do not destroy Chenqing, her master responded with a sigh. He knew Baxia well. Her master is on our side.

Qin Su makes her own decision.

He knew the instant the flowers went away.

“For as long as I can remember, a spirit has followed and assisted me,” Meng Yao said.

“Sect Leader Lan,” he said. “Please help me.” Lan Qiren stared down at him in horror, quickly crouching to pull Nie Mingjue up again. “Me? You can’t be serious!” “It has to be you,” Nie Mingjue said. “Sect Leader Lan, please. Please. It can’t be Wen Ruohan. It can’t.”

Nie Mingjue keeps trying to talk to Jin Guangyao, and Jin Guangyao doesn't know quite what to make of it. Still less did he know what to make of Nie Mingjue, of all people, being insightful about the difficulties of being a bastard son of the sect leader, recognized but never accepted. Has the world turned upside down? Maybe it had.

Wei Wuxian had been obsessed with the idea of a resonant bond ever since he first learned about it. The idea that he could one day, if he were very lucky, form an unbreakable connection to another person - a connection that generally manifested, it was said, as a mental bond that could not be severed, a tie that would keep them bound together no matter the distance. A bond that would mean he need never fear abandonment, to never need to worry about someone going out only for a little and then never coming back. It would be amazing, he thought - right up until he punched Jin Zixuan in the face for insulting his shijie and something just – Clicked.

Two children, Meng Shi decides, cannot possibly be that much more work than one. On the run from the Jin, Meng Shi encounters another young boy in need of love, a family and a home.

A day in the life of one happily married couple: in which Jiang Yanli dresses her husband in lingerie, ties him to the headboard, and pegs him until he comes (multiple times) and cries.

Five years after the death of the Yiling Patriarch, Jin Guangyao calls Jiang Cheng to Carp Tower, to involve him in a plot. It doesn't go the way Jin Guangyao thinks it's going to go.

Two gremlins, their husbands, and the horrible HOA board. As long as nobody gets arrested for arson or murder, we're gonna call it a win.

Art/Comics

“But I didn’t mean to wish him away!” Nie Huaisang cried out. “That’s really too bad,” the goblin king said, looking pleasant and humble and charming the way he always did, even in his cape of glittering gold and high-browed hat. “I wish there was something I could do for you, but the rules are the rules. You wished him away, and I took him.” Nie Huaisang wrung his hands. “You don’t understand, the last thing I said to him was that I hated him! Meng Yao, please!” “It’s Jin Guangyao,” the goblin king corrected. His smile looked a bit strained. “Listen, do you think I’m happy about this? He’s my sworn brother! I’m only doing what I have to –” “Oh, save it for Lan Xichen,” Nie Huaisang growled. “Show me the labyrinth already.” “You’re going to face the labyrinth,” the goblin king said. His voice was very polite, and yet still expressed significant doubt. “You.”

“I’ll be there,” Jiang Cheng said suddenly, and Nie Mingjue blinked. “At – at the Nightless City. After you kill him, after we take the city…I’ll come find you, to make sure you’re all right.” That was stupid, he thought to himself as soon as he said it. Nie Mingjue had an entire sect, and friends, and all that – he didn’t need Jiang Cheng hounding him with his insecurities, his worries, his fear that Nie Mingjue would die, too, die and leave him behind just like all the others. Why should he be the exception? But Nie Mingjue smiled. “I look forward to seeing you then.”

Rumor had already made the entire cultivation world aware that Jiang Fengmian had found the orphaned son of Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze, and that he had taken him into his home as his ward, allowing him to become a Jiang sect disciple – treating him almost as one of the family, even. That much was known, so it didn’t come as much of a surprise when Jiang Fengmian proudly introduced him or even more proudly showed him off, praising him to the high heavens. What did come as a surprise was how little he praised his own son standing beside him, despite them being only a few days apart in age. It was as if Jiang Fengmian had simply forgotten that such a creature existed, much less that he had himself contributed to its spawning, and the constant looks of hope – invariably crushed – the child sent him made it clear that the present situation had been going on for some time. Fuck you, Nie Mingjue thought, seeing red, seeing instead Nie Huaisang in his failed saber classes, struggling so desperately to keep up with the rest even though his body wouldn’t allow for it, being told he was useless and a good-for-nothing and fit for nothing but marriage. Fuck you, Jiang Fengmian.

From Delight in Misery by nirejseki: "There was a period when da-ge’s temper was getting worse and worse, and A-Yao was doing everything he could to irritate him while pretending he’d never done anything wrong in his life, which of course irritated da-ge even more…I honestly thought one of them might try to kill the other. But then I ended up having a small fit while the two of them were bickering, and by the time I recovered they’d somehow managed to get over the worst of it.” Lan Wangji raised his eyebrows. “I think they realized that I couldn’t handle losing either of them at that time,” Lan Xichen said with a shrug, indicating clearly that the fit in question was not a subject that was open for discussion. “I’d had the abrupt realization that I really might never see you again, if not even they could locate you...it really was a surprise that Jiang Cheng turned out to be such an accomplished liar.” What did that "small fit" look like?

During his time rebuilding the Jiang sect and the Lotus Pier from the ground up, Jiang Cheng meets a lot of people. Some of them he keeps. (5+1 Jiang Cheng adopting stray cultivators after the Sunshot Campaign)

“No, I don’t want anything,” Nie Mingjue said, deeply relieved to have identified that he had not, in fact, forgotten to fill out his calendar. “I’m stuck in a time loop.” “…ah,” the guard said, looking taken aback – he must be new to Qinghe, like many of the cultivators in the army. Like Meng Yao, for that matter. “Is that…bad?” “No, it’s fantastic. I’m going back to sleep. No one is to bother me all day.”

Well, shit, Nie Huaisang thought, even as he comforted Jin Rusong, petting the toddler’s back to try to get him to calm down. What do I do now?

It's finally time for Nie Mingjue to give Nie Huaisang the Sex Talk. Pity no one ever thought to give one to Nie Mingjue.

“You want me to what,” Lan Qiren said. “Be the father of my child,” Cangse Sanren said. Simply and straightforwardly, as if that were just a thing people said.

Nie Mingjue has had a very shitty week. His brother concocts an elaborate scheme to help him relax.

“Hey,” Lao Nie protested mildly. “Who’s the father here, me or you?” “If a-die wants a new wife, little uncle will find one that isn’t inclined to kill him.” That sounded like a recitation. “Then what’s even the point,” Lao Nie grumbled, and reached out to ruffle his son’s hair, enjoying how Nie Mingjue yelped when he did, glaring up at him with offended dignity.

“My lady,” the midwife said. “Congratulations. You have a daughter.” Madame Jin shook her head. “I need a son,” she said. “My lady –” “I’m not doing that again,” Madame Jin said, her voice getting stronger. “I need a son.” “But –” She looked at her loyal maid, who inclined her head. A knife flashed. “Congratulations, my lady,” her maid said, pushing aside the midwife’s body with her foot. “You have a son.” Madame Jin smiled.

JIANG CHENG: I’m passing the phone to someone who once did a cannonball into the lake before ever learning how to swim and puked up water for a week.

Parenting is hard, but it's especially hard when it's not actually your kid and your sister who raised you died three years ago and you have to deal with your own abandonment issues at the same time as your new kid's abandonment issues and the guy who's raising the kid with you won't stop being a better parent than you. Or: Jiang Cheng has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week of birthday party planning.

Prompt: We keep hearing little bits about the Nie bros dad, but what about their moms?

prompt: The junior generation is full of girls

Prompt: NMJ and JGY spend an entire banquet on the same page and in perfect agreement on something - and that something is that the random, minor sect leader's daughter that is CLEARLY trying to get with LXC is Not Good Enough For Him and they both need to make sure the OTHER doesn't accidentally maim and/or poison her throughout the night.

“You’re going to stay in this cave,” Jiang Cheng says, arms spread wide to block the mouth of it, “or i will beat you until you are physically incapable of leaving it!” Jiang Cheng does, in fact, beat a Liu Qingge weakened by sex pollen. Then he beats... his meat (jk they smash)

“There’s still time to back out, you know,” Wei Ying says, quiet enough that even the attendants waiting at the corners of their table won’t hear. Lan Wangji pauses in the middle of reaching for the sash on Wei Ying’s—on his husband’s—outer robes. A pit opens in his stomach. His hand falls to his lap, and he lifts his eyes to meet Wei Ying’s. “Is that what you want?” --- The components of the marriage ceremony are easy in theory. The handfasting, the bows, the feast... and the Taking.

“I wanna learn!” A-Song asks. Daddy smiles at him. “You want to learn demonic cultivation for shadow puppets?” “Please!” A-Song begs. He loves the puppets. Daddy shrugs and says it’s as good a reason as any. Xue Yang raises Jin Rusong AU.

What did the nice, attractive man from the grocery store ever do to you, cat? Let Mingjue live, this date had been going so well.... -- Modern NieYao, cat!Baxia, and a bit of a rocky 4th date that has more blood in it than Mingjue anticipated

Nie Huaisang’s rooms in the Unclean Realm had a little side door that no one but him ever used. Years after he’d put it out of his mind entirely, there came a terrible banging noise at that little side door, like someone was kicking at it furiously from the outside. Lan Wangji, white robes stained with blood and cheeks bright with fever, shoved something into his arms. “You have a child now,” he said through bitten lips. “Congratulations. He is called A-Yuan. I entrust you with his care, for my sect cannot be trusted with it.”

Jin Guangshan has a certain reputation when it comes to bastard children - a reputation he lives up to when Meng Yao arrives at, and is summarily thrown out of, Jinlin Tower. Unfortunately for Jin Guangshan, his actions are witnessed by all the other sect leaders of the time...and Lan Qiren, at least, has some objections.

There's a mermaid bleeding in the lifeboat. Wei Ying stands over the mermaid on the ship deck with his thumbs hooked into his own belt, coat swung back behind him. The mermaid looks at him like he’s a particularly pathetic bug, even though Wei Ying isn’t the one laying flat-out on the deck looking like a- well. A fish out of water, basically. Wei Ying crouches in front of him and the mermaid bares his teeth, presumably to warn him off of touching or coming closer. Wei Ying holds his hands up, but frowns severely to establish dominance. “Hey, buddy,” He says. “It’s not my fault you decided to bleed all over a lifeboat. We need those.”

Wei Wuxian is ready, waiting. The front and back doors of the Jingshi wait open, allowing the early summer breeze to pass through the house, bringing with it the scent of the flowers from the back garden. He has rope, crimson and smooth and well-worn, coiled in a neat pile. He has tea, perfectly brewed, the lightly flavored (nearly tasteless) kind that Lan Zhan likes, waiting in a pot with a warming talisman. There’s a comb, fine-toothed of carved white jade. There’s fruit, for later, perfectly ripe. There’s a small knife with a curved blade, still sharp as anything but stained with years of sap. There’s the garden, lovingly tended and fully in bloom in waves of pinks and purples and whites. There’s him, lounging against the frame of the back door, limbs sprawled about in the languid way that looks careless to an outsider but is actually carefully choreographed to put as much of himself on display as possible. He’s technically fully dressed, red inner robe and black outer, but the black outer robe is unbelted, half-hanging off one shoulder, and he’s decidedly not wearing trousers. His bare feet poke out the red folds, pale against the wood of the Jingshi deck. Or: Rope bondage as the deepest expression of affection.