“Well,” Luo Binghe says, looking at Liu Qingge with a complicated expression on his face. Liu Qingge glares, spitting the blood out of his mouth, and goes to suck at on the wound on his arm again, trying to draw out as much of the poison as possible. “I could cure it, but you’re not going to like it.”

Shen Qingqiu has seen porn, okay? Back in the days when he was online for approximately 85% of his waking hours, there were popups all over the place. Sure, most of them were animated (poorly); most of them were gay male porn, for some reason (some reason); but there was some disconcerting real life stuff as well! He’s seen a vagina. At least a few times! He knows what they look like! Liu Qingge, on the other hand… Shen Qingqiu is 99% sure that this man hasn’t seen a vagina since the day he came out of one, if the way he’s staring down his pants in horror is any indication. ...Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu, and Liu Qingge are all infected by a terrible pollen that gives them a ~woman's body~ and can only be cured through orgasm. They, uh, work together, as um, a team, to- uh- to- orgasms are involved

Shen Yuan never thought that he would transmigrate into a web novel. But, if he had… maybe he would have chosen a role with slightly more… narrative weight, than this one? Like sure, it’s all well and good to be the fancy top healer of a cultivation sect! But even though he- “Mu Qingfang”- has a sword, he barely ever uses it. What the heck! And did he accidentally... accept the protagonist as his disciple? Mr Protagonist Bingge sir… this humble man promises he wasn’t trying to steal your tragic coming up through misery backstory from you!

Agen Kolar is many things, but prepared to play babysitter for a repentant Sith is definitely not among them. However, Vader holds the keys to a conspiracy that could bring down the Jedi, and in light of that, Agen has to make allowances. (Anakin Skywalker just wants another chance. One more chance to make the right choices this time around, and save the galaxy he once destroyed. And if a weird, surly Zabrak Jedi Master with a penchant for punching people and a talent for finding trouble can help him, he'll take it.)

“Who’s in the next room?” Obi-Wan asks, low and soft right next to Hardcase’s ear.

“There’s still time to back out, you know,” Wei Ying says, quiet enough that even the attendants waiting at the corners of their table won’t hear. Lan Wangji pauses in the middle of reaching for the sash on Wei Ying’s—on his husband’s—outer robes. A pit opens in his stomach. His hand falls to his lap, and he lifts his eyes to meet Wei Ying’s. “Is that what you want?” --- The components of the marriage ceremony are easy in theory. The handfasting, the bows, the feast... and the Taking.

The Force speaks in mysterious ways. A young Leia Organa listens. Unfortunately, she doesn't quite know what she's hearing. This changes things.

Maul is going to make himself a widower in short order.

Obi-Wan went over thirty years without a heat. It was hardly unusual or unexpected. Everyone knew omega reproductive systems were finicky. Omegas were incredibly fertile while in heat. Nature had, perhaps, compensated for the situation by ensuring they only went into heat when...conditions were correct. OR, the Dark Side AU where the Empire is already in power, the Jedi are long gone, and Obi-Wan Kenobi ends up leading an army to wipe out the Emperor's enemies. Things get more complicated when he goes into heat.

Absurdity, what if the people in the Qui-gon Jinn Hate Squad from ArianaDeralte's How a Romance Novel Saved the Galaxy decided to send Qui-gon a glitter-bomb card?

In one galaxy, the novel was never read. In another, it starts a landslide. Or what happens when the Mandalorians learn that the Jedi are exactly what most of them look for in a partner.

“I wanna learn!” A-Song asks. Daddy smiles at him. “You want to learn demonic cultivation for shadow puppets?” “Please!” A-Song begs. He loves the puppets. Daddy shrugs and says it’s as good a reason as any. Xue Yang raises Jin Rusong AU.

What did the nice, attractive man from the grocery store ever do to you, cat? Let Mingjue live, this date had been going so well.... -- Modern NieYao, cat!Baxia, and a bit of a rocky 4th date that has more blood in it than Mingjue anticipated

“You scored very highly—” “As fuckin’ usual.” “—but your interpersonal skills are still unbelievably low. If you are going to be a pro hero you need to be capable of working on a team—sometimes even one composed of people you don’t like.” Aizawa seemed to have roused himself from the edge of sleep long enough to impart this wisdom to Blasty. “Whatever. Just tell me what I’m doing.” Bakugou didn’t seem very moved. Mina thought one might need a backhoe to achieve such a thing. Aizawa zipped himself up in his sleeping bag. “Go around the classroom and give everyone an honest compliment.”

“Would you fuck off already?” Bakugou’s voice rang out over the sounds of the party, prompting several members of 1A to look over in concern. Izuku bit his lip and joined them, peering around Uraraka’s shoulder where she sat beside him on the couch. Iida frowned and stood, ready to step in before Bakugou could start a fight. “Hey, man, no need to yell, we were just—” “You were just being a fucking creep. She’s obviously not fucking interested, jackass.” Izuku blinked

“Queen Miraj is going to betray you,” Feral says, and Cody practically jumps out of his own skin.

Kaci knows what a privilege this is, that they came to her for this interview, for this coming-out talk, and she will do everything in her power to make them feel safe. An interview after the relationship between N0tail and Ceb has been made public.

Nie Huaisang’s rooms in the Unclean Realm had a little side door that no one but him ever used. Years after he’d put it out of his mind entirely, there came a terrible banging noise at that little side door, like someone was kicking at it furiously from the outside. Lan Wangji, white robes stained with blood and cheeks bright with fever, shoved something into his arms. “You have a child now,” he said through bitten lips. “Congratulations. He is called A-Yuan. I entrust you with his care, for my sect cannot be trusted with it.”

“Are you sure about this?” Jon asks a little warily.

This, Fox thinks, staring up at the fabric of the tent above him, is absolutely not what he remembers from before he closed his eyes. Right along with the realization comes the desperate, sinking sort of feeling that what he was most afraid of happened again. One step down the hallway in the Senate, heading somewhere, and then—

“Shh, shh, we’re almost there,” Feemor murmurs, and the trembling teenage girl pressed tight to his side gives a jerky nod, though she doesn’t release her death grip on his belt.

“He hasn’t noticed yet, has he?” the little Chalactan girl asks cheerfully, pulling herself up to sit on the table. Myles, currently face-down on the wood and despairing of every moment he’s spent devoting his life and honor to an idiot, groans loudly.

“It’s Chancellor Palpatine,” he says clearly, as steadily as he’s able to. “Chancellor Palpatine is the Sith Lord. I need your help to kill him.” There's one beat of stunned, frozen silence. Then, careful, Thire clears his throat. “You want us to kill the Supreme Chancellor?” he asks. “Yes,” Mace says, and when he sits back, all three commanders are staring at him. Something in his chest sinks, grim and resigned. “I can't—” “Thire, get those damn boxes open,” Fox orders. “Stone, we need some kind of distraction. Grab some detonators.”

When Loki and Thor are caught attempting to steal from a Temple they discover that the hushed stories about the the cruelty and perversion of its punishments are all true. But when Loki is involved, things are never quite as they seem.

Jin Guangshan has a certain reputation when it comes to bastard children - a reputation he lives up to when Meng Yao arrives at, and is summarily thrown out of, Jinlin Tower. Unfortunately for Jin Guangshan, his actions are witnessed by all the other sect leaders of the time...and Lan Qiren, at least, has some objections.

Fans of Proud Immortal Demon Way attempt to make sense of recent Twitter interactions between Peerless Cucumber and Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky. (siskyverse)

When Jon Antilles takes command of the 501st Legion, he brings a whole host of secrets along with him. They're not his secrets alone, however, and when Jesse starts to dig, in the name of getting to know their new general, he very quickly finds himself tangled up in matters that could reshape the entire galaxy.

In the first months of the war, A'Sharad finds a whole tribe of his people viciously slaughtered, with only one survivor. What begins as an investigation to find the culprit and a mission from the Council to support Tatooine's petition to enter the Republic rapidly turns into something else entirely, though, and A'Sharad, his padawan, and their tiny clone squad find themselves caught up in mysteries that can be traced all the way back to the start of the Republic.

When Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing stage an ambush to save Gao Chong and Zhang Chengling from Tian Chuang, they soon realize Wen Kexing has been poisoned, and only Han Ying can help him. Written for the following kink meme prompt: WKX gets hit by sex pollen or similar plot device that requires he get fucked but ZZS can't get it up because of the nails [...]

There's a mermaid bleeding in the lifeboat. Wei Ying stands over the mermaid on the ship deck with his thumbs hooked into his own belt, coat swung back behind him. The mermaid looks at him like he’s a particularly pathetic bug, even though Wei Ying isn’t the one laying flat-out on the deck looking like a- well. A fish out of water, basically. Wei Ying crouches in front of him and the mermaid bares his teeth, presumably to warn him off of touching or coming closer. Wei Ying holds his hands up, but frowns severely to establish dominance. “Hey, buddy,” He says. “It’s not my fault you decided to bleed all over a lifeboat. We need those.”

“You’ve won,” Liu Qingge says stiffly, after a long moment. “I cede.” “Oh?” Luo Binghe says, smirk spreading across his lips. “You’ll pay the forfeit?” “Didn’t you just hear me?” He's trying to keep his temper in check, with Shen Qingqiu watching him so closely. He’s only one monster short; it would take two more to break past even. “Very well then,” Luo Binghe says, grin stretching his lips irritatingly. “Strip.”

In which the five members of OG struggle to deal with A/B/O related bullshit before TI8, and celebrate after their win. Lots and lots of platonic cuddling and comfort ensues.

Maria can’t recall the last time she slept.

Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua are stuck in a pit. With a curse. And they are not happy.

Along with pining pathetically until he dies, Shang Qinghua's expectations for this post-canon world of Cucumber-bro's making are simple. They include managing the Ice Palace, eating, and maybe penning a few (less shitty) novels in his limited spare time. Retirement, boring and not fraught in the slightest. It's the least this old man deserves. The System, of course, has other ideas. 【Request received! More side quests will be made available to the Host. Please keep working hard!! ヽ(>∀

Wei Wuxian is ready, waiting. The front and back doors of the Jingshi wait open, allowing the early summer breeze to pass through the house, bringing with it the scent of the flowers from the back garden. He has rope, crimson and smooth and well-worn, coiled in a neat pile. He has tea, perfectly brewed, the lightly flavored (nearly tasteless) kind that Lan Zhan likes, waiting in a pot with a warming talisman. There’s a comb, fine-toothed of carved white jade. There’s fruit, for later, perfectly ripe. There’s a small knife with a curved blade, still sharp as anything but stained with years of sap. There’s the garden, lovingly tended and fully in bloom in waves of pinks and purples and whites. There’s him, lounging against the frame of the back door, limbs sprawled about in the languid way that looks careless to an outsider but is actually carefully choreographed to put as much of himself on display as possible. He’s technically fully dressed, red inner robe and black outer, but the black outer robe is unbelted, half-hanging off one shoulder, and he’s decidedly not wearing trousers. His bare feet poke out the red folds, pale against the wood of the Jingshi deck. Or: Rope bondage as the deepest expression of affection.

There’s the quiet knock of his assistant, Su She, at the door. He likes to hover anxiously outside the glass walls of his office as if Meng Yao can’t see him. This is usually followed by Meng Yao waving him in wordlessly, taking something or filing something or approving something whilst Su She wrings his hands. Today, Meng Yao has to balance the phone between his ear and shoulder as Su She passes him a baby. *** Yet another illegitimate Jin baby appears and Jin Guangshan takes no responsibility. Meng Yao has to do everything around here.

“Did you break the ward to come in?” Lan Wangji asks, point-blank. He has his sword out and pointed at Wei Wuxian, no bothering with niceties like hello I’m Lan Wangji, and you are? Wei Wuxian eyes the sword, but doesn’t react. He keeps lazing back on the roof, casually drinking his wine, as if this is the usual way he meets new people. (And maybe it is! I don’t know your life, Wei Wuxian!) Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian meet on Season 8 of The Cultivation World. Ouyang Zizhen writes the recaps.

Personal logs from a datapad, early Empire era. Property of the University of Ainac, department of History, Archives, YGE (years of the Galactic Empire) 27.ca.38

In which there was a picture of Wang Yibo looking very smart in a skirt on twitter, and it made me write my first fic in a year. aka: waxing, and spanking, and love, oh my.

If a little fondness slips through, it apparently only makes Han Ying bolder. “Would you allow me to call you Valley Master, if we did?” Wen Kexing laughs under his breath at the brazen request, tipping Han Ying’s face back with two fingers beneath his chin. Narrows his eyes and looks down at him, assuming an air of cold indifference. “Are you a ghost, Han Ying?” “I could be,” Han Ying says quietly. “If you wanted me to be.”

“I cannot believe you,” Jaster says, muffled where his face is buried in his hands. “One week of leave and this—this—this is how you come back?” Myles weighs whether he should be ashamed of himself, considers that last time Jaster got himself kidnapped because he pissed off a culty group of guardians around an ancient shrine, and promptly decides he regrets nothing. “I was only the Sith Emperor for three days before true love’s kiss broke the spell, it was fine.”

“Clan Wren sends its regards,” Ursa says, bowing, and by all rights Jaster should be paying attention to the Countess’s daughter, should pay his own respects to the heir to Krownest, but— He only has eyes for Ursa's brother, steady at her side.

Dorian and Bull experiment with a little spice. (Bull puts ginger up Dorian's butt).

The juniors squad gets an apartment together at university and hijinks ensue. Or, how Jingyi and Sizhui finally got their shit together, Zizhen figured himself out, and Jin Ling had a really good time.

AU based on The Dreamer in the Spring Boudoir (familiarity with that story's not required). Wherein Shen Yuan transmigrates into a harem intrigues romance novel (gay edition), Yue Qingyuan really fucks up, Liu Qingge is not suitable for his job, and no one even remotely sees Luo Binghe coming.

“Don’t worry A-Cheng, this is the kind of party that expects everyone to be using fake names. It would be horribly against the rules for anyone to acknowledge who you actually are, even if they do recognise either of you. Trust me, there will be far more interesting things going on than watching Chifeng-zun and Sandu Shengshou tonight. All you have to do is play it cool, make it seem like you’re there for the same reasons as everyone else, and nobody will meet your eyes. Piece of cake!” Huaisang sounds positively chipper, which means Jiang Cheng is almost certainly going to have the worst night of his life tonight. Or: Jiang Cheng and Nie Mingjue steal a sex party

Prompt: Nie Huaisang buys Jiang Cheng a “baby on sword” (like baby on board lmao) pendant as a joke but Jiang Cheng actually uses it

Jiang Cheng is sort of having a complicated night. She tilts her chin up, moving to the beat of the track, and her eyes slide over him, top to bottom. The beat goes dirty and buzzing and she has to raise her voice to say, “I don’t do straight guys.” Someone grinds against him and he looks down at the prettiest girl he’s ever seen and says, stupid with something to prove, “Good thing I’m not straight, then.” He sounds like he’s sure of it, even though he’s not, but his best decisions have always been forced out of him by people bolder than he is.

Having a crush on your roommate is really embarrassing, except that's apparently the opposite of a problem. Jiang Cheng can't deny that's pretty convenient. Wei Ying holds it up, a series of straps and buckles and velcro and wow, really a lot of leather. It has absolutely no conceivable form beyond tangled. Nie Huaisang opens the door at exactly the moment that Wei Ying holds the thing up to Jiang Cheng’s chest, as if he’s trying to imagine how exactly it would fit onto a person, and it falls into a tangled pile between them while they stare at Huaisang in mild mortification.