That sort of tight-curled body almost always means pain. Bly pauses at the edge of the camp, attention caught by the last campfire before the ring of sentries. A man, Human, is seated on a rock by the fire, curled in on himself with his knees drawn up, and the length of his limbs means he’s probably tall, but he’s managed to press himself down into a knot that looks strangely vulnerable. He doesn’t have a cloak, but there's a worn pack on the ground next to him, and he wouldn’t be the first intelligence officer to look a little out of place in the middle of a battalion of clones.

After a dangerous fight, Tamaki needs a... special kind of stress relief. Kirishima is more than happy to help his Senpai out, even when he has an unusual request.

“I’ll be there,” Jiang Cheng said suddenly, and Nie Mingjue blinked. “At – at the Nightless City. After you kill him, after we take the city…I’ll come find you, to make sure you’re all right.” That was stupid, he thought to himself as soon as he said it. Nie Mingjue had an entire sect, and friends, and all that – he didn’t need Jiang Cheng hounding him with his insecurities, his worries, his fear that Nie Mingjue would die, too, die and leave him behind just like all the others. Why should he be the exception? But Nie Mingjue smiled. “I look forward to seeing you then.”

Rumor had already made the entire cultivation world aware that Jiang Fengmian had found the orphaned son of Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze, and that he had taken him into his home as his ward, allowing him to become a Jiang sect disciple – treating him almost as one of the family, even. That much was known, so it didn’t come as much of a surprise when Jiang Fengmian proudly introduced him or even more proudly showed him off, praising him to the high heavens. What did come as a surprise was how little he praised his own son standing beside him, despite them being only a few days apart in age. It was as if Jiang Fengmian had simply forgotten that such a creature existed, much less that he had himself contributed to its spawning, and the constant looks of hope – invariably crushed – the child sent him made it clear that the present situation had been going on for some time. Fuck you, Nie Mingjue thought, seeing red, seeing instead Nie Huaisang in his failed saber classes, struggling so desperately to keep up with the rest even though his body wouldn’t allow for it, being told he was useless and a good-for-nothing and fit for nothing but marriage. Fuck you, Jiang Fengmian.

From Delight in Misery by nirejseki: "There was a period when da-ge’s temper was getting worse and worse, and A-Yao was doing everything he could to irritate him while pretending he’d never done anything wrong in his life, which of course irritated da-ge even more…I honestly thought one of them might try to kill the other. But then I ended up having a small fit while the two of them were bickering, and by the time I recovered they’d somehow managed to get over the worst of it.” Lan Wangji raised his eyebrows. “I think they realized that I couldn’t handle losing either of them at that time,” Lan Xichen said with a shrug, indicating clearly that the fit in question was not a subject that was open for discussion. “I’d had the abrupt realization that I really might never see you again, if not even they could locate you...it really was a surprise that Jiang Cheng turned out to be such an accomplished liar.” What did that "small fit" look like?

“No, I don’t want anything,” Nie Mingjue said, deeply relieved to have identified that he had not, in fact, forgotten to fill out his calendar. “I’m stuck in a time loop.” “…ah,” the guard said, looking taken aback – he must be new to Qinghe, like many of the cultivators in the army. Like Meng Yao, for that matter. “Is that…bad?” “No, it’s fantastic. I’m going back to sleep. No one is to bother me all day.”

[It’s all Mai’s fault. It was never going to work out between them at the end of the day, romantically, but Zuko will love her until the day he dies, and that love is how he gets bullied into putting it on in the first place. It’s a little square of deep red lace and ribbon that weighs next to nothing. Mai presses it into his hands with a smirk and tells him to put it on. It matches her black one, she says. Hurry up. Zuko loves this woman with every drop of blood in his body. He takes the...whatever it is and hurries up. He changes in her closet—there’s no mirror in there, but Zuko doesn’t need it. He knows what this is.] Or, Zuko explores some options.

Well, shit, Nie Huaisang thought, even as he comforted Jin Rusong, petting the toddler’s back to try to get him to calm down. What do I do now?

It's finally time for Nie Mingjue to give Nie Huaisang the Sex Talk. Pity no one ever thought to give one to Nie Mingjue.

“You want me to what,” Lan Qiren said. “Be the father of my child,” Cangse Sanren said. Simply and straightforwardly, as if that were just a thing people said.

It was a beautiful field, constantly blooming with purple flowers. No weather in the human realm could stop them, and only the gods' mercy can save any human affected by them. Well, that and a demon's 'mercy' would work too. OR Sex Pollen Field Affects Local Peak Lord, Half-Demon Protagonist Lends A Helping Pillar!! Done for LQG Fuck or Die Fest (2019)!

Nie Mingjue has had a very shitty week. His brother concocts an elaborate scheme to help him relax.

‘…H-how am I still alive?’ Zuko thinks. Sokka flinches back. Whoaaa, how in Spirits name did Zuko project his voice like that? Sokka didn’t even see him move his lips. As if he can hear Sokka’s thoughts, Zuko turns his head to look directly at him, eyes bewildered. And this is where Sokka realises something is very, very wrong. Two minutes later: “No way!” Sokka shakes his head wildly, just as prince jerkbender across him curses. “I’m soul bonded- To him?! No way! That’s just spirit mumbo-jumbo!!!” -or, through some freak Spirit accident involving Zhao, the Avatar, and the continuous joke that is both their existence, Sokka and Zuko have been soul-bonded and mentally linked. Neither of them are particularly happy with this.

“Sometimes when Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu make love-” Shang Qinghua thinks of the right way to phrase it, drawing on his extensive experience- “Shen Qingqiu’s heavenly pillar descends to Luo Binghe’s ravine, if you understand me,” he says, moving his eyebrows in a way that is meant to convey deep meaning. Mobei-Jun does not make an expression of understanding, but he’s watching Shang Qinghua very, very closely. “Shang Qinghua,” he says. “You want to be inside me?”

What sort of servitude ceremony was this? — In which Shang Qinghua didn't leave.

Sure, getting fucked by tentacles was a rare, once in two lifetimes kind of experience. But honestly, once you went demon dick there's no going back. OR Shang Qinghua (and Shen Qingqiu) gets tentacle-fucked but Shang Qinghua is still helplessly horny for a certain ice demon.

“Hey,” Lao Nie protested mildly. “Who’s the father here, me or you?” “If a-die wants a new wife, little uncle will find one that isn’t inclined to kill him.” That sounded like a recitation. “Then what’s even the point,” Lao Nie grumbled, and reached out to ruffle his son’s hair, enjoying how Nie Mingjue yelped when he did, glaring up at him with offended dignity.

“He will know we are faking.” Mobei-jun says. “We’re sharing a room, how will he know?” “He has the room on the other side of the wall. We will have to share the bed.”

A Pre-Canon Canon Divergence fic. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky didn’t remember anything about Mobei-Jun having a child! He remembered Mobei-Jun having siblings, sure, but he was pretty sure that he’d alluded to Mobei-Jun’s terrible uncle doing… away with most of them. Did that mean that this demon child was supposed to… die for the plot? In which, when Airplane meets Mobei-Jun and saves the demon's life, he also meets and saves Mobei-Jun's baby brother. Hiding and helping two spoiled young demon masters is twice the trouble.

Shang Qinghua had never had a good idea - not a single good idea, not ever. In fact, this was possibly his worst idea ever. In fact, he was pretty sure he was going to die. In fact, he was - ... wait, why wasn't Binghe upset? Why was Binghe willing to do this? What sort of novel had this become!? Why was the only dying he was doing now while Mobei-jun and Luo Binghe were clearly having a good time without him?!

Mobei-Jun’s search for Shang Qinghua had taken him to many strange places. He had quickly exhausted all more familiar locations. He had come to this last strange place not because Shang Qinghua was a strange man who knew many strange things (though he was), but because… because… it was becoming evident that if he did not seek out strange methods, he would never find Shang Qinghua if he did not wish to be found. It was becoming evident that Shang Qinghua did not wish to be found. In which Mobei-Jun becomes an accidental time-traveler and gets a second shot at his life with Shang Qinghua.

Shang Qinghua had not always been the most original author out there. If there was a bandwagon to jump on that could please his readers and put more money into his account so he could eat a bit less in the way of cheap instant noodles and a bit more in the way of slightly less cheap instant noodles, he was first in line to jump on it. There was a particular trend that had just started to become popular when he started his novel, and he was all too happy to run with it, adding his own twists to it as was necessary or convenient. If he had known that it would lead to this particular situation—! Well, okay, he probably would have written it in, as a future death held down by a shirtless Mobei Jun sounded infinitely more appealing than starving to death in his dismal little apartment. But at least he would have known what he was signing up for!

Ye Baiyi must really, really want to fuck him, Xie thinks. Maybe when he’s asleep Xie can drop poison in his ear. Or steal any treasures he carries. How has he lived this long if he’s actually this stupid?

“My lady,” the midwife said. “Congratulations. You have a daughter.” Madame Jin shook her head. “I need a son,” she said. “My lady –” “I’m not doing that again,” Madame Jin said, her voice getting stronger. “I need a son.” “But –” She looked at her loyal maid, who inclined her head. A knife flashed. “Congratulations, my lady,” her maid said, pushing aside the midwife’s body with her foot. “You have a son.” Madame Jin smiled.

Shang Qinghua got hit with a sex pollen, and he knows his king won't save him. Cucumber-bro doesn't take pity on him; he calls Mobei-Jun, assured that Mobei-Jun won't let Shang Qinghua die.

“You were watching me,” the kid says, in a soft colorless voice. It could be a threat if it wanted to be, easily, but in that tone it’s just a statement of fact. “Yeah, I’m sure it’s the first time anyone’s ever looked at you,” Baiyi says. He sips his drink. “You must not get any attention in that outfit.” The corner of the kid’s red mouth quirks up. “I’m sure you get attention in those,” he says.

The Republic hasn't had a standing army in over two thousand years. Even before the Reformation, there was no war on a grand enough scale to justify the expense. It feels like a bad joke, when the Chancellor decrees it, when the Senate allows it. The Jedi aren't a military. The Jedi have never been a military. They give Obi-Wan a battalion. They give him a battlecruiser, a Marshall Commander, they knight his Padawan. He looks over all the clerical minutiae a military runs on and wishes they'd given him a secretary. cody, obi-wan, and ghost company at the beginning of the war, learning to work together, trust each other, maybe even like each other

JIANG CHENG: I’m passing the phone to someone who once did a cannonball into the lake before ever learning how to swim and puked up water for a week.

“What is that?” Thire asks, wrinkling his nose as Fox marches past him. He immediately turns to open a window. Fox snorts, lifting a boot to kick Thorn where he’s sprawled out on the couch. Thorn groans, but raises his head, and Fox jerks his head at him. “A Jedi,” he answers, and Thorn freezes, eyes widening.

fucked up if true! @fuitpodcast A podcast about organized crime, cults, and other legally questionable things! Also featuring: an improbable number of references to the power of friendship, a cat (alleged), and occasional expert interviews! Updates on a schedule known only to the people who make the academic calendar. Hosted by Enma (@10gravities) and Tsuna (twitterless and proud) academic racoon in a trenchcoat @getyerproblems Do they know they’re being recorded? Tsuna and Enma have a podcast. The fandom has a few theories, and a LOT of questions.

[“Okay, but listen,” Zuko says. “I’m listening.” “Did you forget about the capitalist scam happening tomorrow?” He asks. “You know, patron saint of shitty teddy bears and pretending that a few flowers makes up for being emotionally constipated the rest of the year?” Zuko shrugs. “Not like I lied.” “Sounds kind of like you lied.” “He said couple,” Zuko points out, “We are a couple. A couple of people who want a discount.”] Or, Zuko and Sokka work the system.

Not the Pokémon AU you asked for but the one you’re getting anyway. Featuring: full time gym leader and local cryptid Zuko, badge challenger Sokka, and Katara who can only look at so many memes before she flips.

Parenting is hard, but it's especially hard when it's not actually your kid and your sister who raised you died three years ago and you have to deal with your own abandonment issues at the same time as your new kid's abandonment issues and the guy who's raising the kid with you won't stop being a better parent than you. Or: Jiang Cheng has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week of birthday party planning.

Prompt: We keep hearing little bits about the Nie bros dad, but what about their moms?

prompt: The junior generation is full of girls

Prompt: NMJ and JGY spend an entire banquet on the same page and in perfect agreement on something - and that something is that the random, minor sect leader's daughter that is CLEARLY trying to get with LXC is Not Good Enough For Him and they both need to make sure the OTHER doesn't accidentally maim and/or poison her throughout the night.

"I accidentally created a whole real person to be my sexual plaything! And now I'm about to baby-trap him! In a trap that I also created! I'm pretty sure this isn't okay!"

“Shizun…” Shen Qingqiu looks up from where he’s kneeled at his writing desk, meeting the dark, hooded gaze of his husband standing beside him. Binghe is already dressed down to only a thin inner shirt that covers down to his upper thighs. At this angle, Shen Qingqiu can nearly see under it, blushing as Binghe’s hand slides enticingly up his thigh to drag the robe up and aside, parting just enough to display his pretty, already wet pussy. He swallows thickly, putting down his ink brush as he stares up at his husband’s shameless behaviour. Bingqiu find a flower with a unique side effect and find they really quite like the change.

“You’re going to stay in this cave,” Jiang Cheng says, arms spread wide to block the mouth of it, “or i will beat you until you are physically incapable of leaving it!” Jiang Cheng does, in fact, beat a Liu Qingge weakened by sex pollen. Then he beats... his meat (jk they smash)

Liu Qingge is struck by a poison that affects him at inopportune moments. The only cure, of course, is dual cultivation with an accomplished cultivator. Too bad that the only person around is Luo Binghe, and that suddenly everything is happening at once. Yue Qingyuan? Kidnapped. Shen Qingqiu? On his way to rescue him. Luo Binghe? Confronting a truth he never expected. And Liu Qingge is left with his spotty cultivation, a bone to pick, and no plans for how to cure himself of the poison.

What if Kaz asked Jesper to help him get over his touch aversion, so he could be with Inej?

Eddie yanked at the tentacles stringing him up, his mind and body alight with need, "Venom, please please please do that again, fuck –" I think you might need a little help remembering the terms of our agreement, Venom mused instead.

Liu Qingge would stand before him, shield and sword, and offer his all. So, when the man who held his heart and sword called for him, he came on the fastest blade in the human world. And when that man looked at him, a demonic arm curled around his waist and Luo Binghe plastered to his back, Liu Qingge stood at the ready. And when that man asked him to come into their bed, Liu Qingge pulled off his outer robe with steady hands.

Oh no~ Shen Qingqiu has been struck by sex pollen~ good thing he has two beautiful lovers ready and willing to help! But they've never done it... with each other in the room... Local peak lord experiences first threesome while out of his mind horny on sex pollen, has more than one really good orgasm, click thru to read more

Shen Qingqiu’s inner robe spreads out like somewhat algae-infested green water across the sand floor of the succubus den. Liu Qingge lays- or, rather, stiffy braces himself on his elbows- like a white line of moonlight across it. Cautiously, Shen Qingqiu lays down next to Liu Qingge- barely touching him. The perfect skin of Liu Qingge’s face is illuminated by a faint sheen of sweat; his chest is heaving like so many flat bosoms in the chapters requested by that one reader who didn’t like big boobs. His hair is dark and beautiful, the bang falling across his cheek and directing the eye to his pink, parted lips. He is: pretty hot. He is: in need of assistance. He is: in need of LIFE SAVING SEX! Succubus extra~ it's t4t piv sex babes!

Luo Binghe rolls to his back, looking up at their bed’s canopy. “When you invited me to sit in your carriage... that was you?” “Yes,” Shen Qingqiu says warily. “I was fourteen,” Luo Binghe says. “But if Shen Qinqgiu’s body wasn’t your own, how old were you?”

After the tranquil bamboo house on Qing Jing Peak and Luo Binghe’s splendid, demonic mansion, Shen Qingqiu definitely finds sleeping on a futon cradling a cheap dakimakura to be a downgrade.

Art for Asuka Kureru's "Days On A Wire", second in her ABO series "Cherry Wine". (She got me right in the special interest, how dare. :D )

During the succubus extra... Liu Qingge really doesn't know how to jack off and Shen Qingqiu has to help him.

While Luo Binghe is in the Abyss, Shen Qingqiu is struck by a strange poison that gives him a woman's body. The only solution: orgasm. Who on earth will be able to help him...?