In life and in death, Xichen’s love will never leave him. (or: nie mingjue's fierce corpse is granted sentience, and sets out to fix things.)

Pain Is What Makes Us People

basically i want 50k of lan xichen courting jiang cheng into being his jaeger co-pilot (and another 50k of them becoming boyfriends)

"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion." Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples. "They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean." At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.

Jin Ling runs away from home to meet this mysterious uncle his mother has told him so much about, who also happens to be the Yiling Patriarch and the one sheltering the last of the Wen Sect. It does not go as he expected.

Jin Ling asks Lan Sizhui to come to Qiongqi Path and play Inquiry so he can learn the truth of what happened to the Wen held prisoner there.

It starts with Meng Yao’s scars. Well. Depending on how one looks at it, it might start with Nie Mingjue of Qinghe naming his oldest and lowest ranked disciple his vice general. It might also start the day Meng Yao first lays eyes upon Lan Xichen standing under a flowering haitang tree in Gusu, and is filled with an immediate, burning sense of wanting. Perhaps it doesn’t actually matter how it starts. - in which Meng Yao seeks comfort in yielding.

@stultiloquentia correctly pointed out to me that I forgot to include our discussion of LWJ and WWX’s fashion in my headcanons post from yesterday, which was a grievous oversight that must be corrected, plus I’ve had some more thoughts that need to be recorded.

This AU invaded my brain last night while I was trying to fall asleep, so here’s a bullet list of headcanons so I can get them out of my head/record them somewhere for potential later usefulness. Born out of me reading a thread on Twitter (that I of course can’t find anymore) about the punk group active in Chicago (I think? probably more than one city, but specifically where the author lived) in the ’90s that was organized specifically to keep fascists out of punk clubs. Just zero tolerance for bigotry at punk shows, threw them out of the club immediately, with violence as necessary.

Pale skin, a beautiful face, and dark hair with a Lan headband were all unsurprising, but his ears were capped with blue frills the color of the wall hangings in the Teaching Hall, and below his navel he had a tail, blue and white and tapering to the size of Wei Wuxian’s waist where it dipped below the water. The cold and the shock were finally too much - Wei Wuxian fainted.

“Huaisang?” asks Jiang Cheng when he leans against him. “I’m tired,” Huaisang says into Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. “Just tired.” Jiang Cheng hums and settles a hand on his shoulder, a minute touch, warm and steady. Then he winds an arm around Huaisang’s waist and picks him up effortlessly like he weighs nothing: like he is exactly as hollow as he feels right this moment, on this balcony, under these stars. “Come on,” says Jiang Cheng. “Let’s go to bed.” - In which Huaisang has a recurring nightmare, the Nie disciples demonstrate excellent capacity for problem-solving, and Jiang Cheng turns out to be more patient than it is generally expected of him.

Lan Wangji leaned forward to lick the sweat off of Wei Wuxian’s neck. “I am fucking you,” he said as Wei Wuxian started to whine. He took his hand away, blinking his way back into the jingshi. Lan Wangji was laying there as unruffled as ever. “You really like the begging, huh?” Wei Wuxian said weakly. Lan Wangji’s smile was so warm, his eyes so soft. He said, “Wei Ying’s voice is pleasing to me.” --- Wei Wuxian can read Lan Wangji's mind. He's surprised by what he finds there.

The cascade of events that lead to this moment—Nie Mingjue in a mesh crop top and billowing pants and a snake shaped chain that connects the neck bit to his trousers, good god—started, like all chaotic things in Mingjue’s life do, with Huaisang. With Huaisang’s new boyfriend, to be precise. And Huaisang’s boyfriend’s brother’s boyfriend’s brother. Who just happened to be Mingjue’s high school almost-sweetheart. - in which Huaisang has an art show, Xichen wears a suit, and there are. Shenanigans.

It’s possible that letting go of this crush on Wei Ying would have been easier for Lan Zhan if he didn’t know that Wei Ying and his lover, Mo Xuanyu, often took thirds to bed. It is almost certain that letting go of this crush would have been easier had Lan Zhan not become one of them.

Lan Zhan has been in love with his best friend for nearly a decade and despite his attempts, has never managed to confess. Now that Wei Ying's lease is almost up, there's a chance he'll be moving in with him soon, and Lan Zhan isn't sure that's something he'll survive... The impending stress leads to a drink, which in turn leads to a desperate Reddit post that goes viral and attracts attention and advice from... well, none other than Wei Ying, resulting in a series of failed attempts at getting Wei Ying to realize just how Lan Zhan feels about him.

A night hunt goes wrong when the group encounters a Qiongqi. While protecting his nephew, Jiang Cheng is hit with poison by the beast. They don’t have time to research an antidote, but prolonged dual cultivation with another cultivator will neutralize the poison... When he’s chosen for the job, Wei Wuxian is surprised, and determined to give his shidi a good time. Alternatively: In Which Yunmeng Recon Happens While Wei Wuxian is Balls Deep In Jiang Cheng.

Jīn Guāngyáo is dead, but Huáisāng's work isn't over yet. Not while his second brother sits broken and alone on the temple steps.

After Wen Ning suffers an accident, the nearest place to go for help is the Qinghe Nie sect; but Nie Huaisang has his own history with the Ghost General.

Some days, it isn’t so bad. His qi irregularities are within the expected boundaries. The desire to give in to the whispering need that wants him to succumb to violence is a quiet thing—imagine how his blood would look on our fingers, Baxia says, but Mingjue smiles through it, bows to Sect Leader Ouyang respectfully, and offers him tea. (If he spends a minute gritting his teeth and breathing heavily in a side chamber before the next assembly at the yearly cultivation conference, does it matter? If a report gets crushed between his fingers and the edge of his vision goes red for a second, a minute, did it really happen if nobody saw?) Other days, it is harder. For those days—the violent ones, the ones where he hangs onto his sanity by the edge of his teeth—he has Xichen.

Wei Wuxian doesn’t let the Wen Remnants hand themselves over after Jin Zixuan’s death. Instead he makes one last sacrifice to ensure they survive. Months later, a Lan cultivator kneels at the edge of the Burial Mounds, ready to offer himself to the feared Yiling Patriarch. Or: Sacrifice is an old magic, but love is even older.

Baxia takes the shape of a woman with the body of a tiger and three heads, each more horrifying than the next. Huaisang is standing between her and his brother. Wings of ink and ash unfurl behind him as the white-throated needletail dissolves into nothing from Huaisang’s right flank and [defend] activates. “What do you want?” he asks. Shouts, really, through the screaming of the desert wind and the never-ending hum of Baxia’s energy. You know what I want, she says with three voices all at once. You know what I want, delicious one, pretty one. Jewel-snake, ink demon, fiend. - in which a sacrifice is made.

“Are you trying to propose to me, Zhan-ge?” Yibo asks, lifting his eyebrows. Xiao Zhan laughs, the sound slightly wheezing. “At dinner…” He runs his thumb over the ring, biting down on his lip. “It was cute. You were acting like Yixing’s trophy husband.” His voice probably isn’t as light as he means it to be. It’s too rough around the edges for a joke. Still, the description makes Yibo stick his lower lip out in a frown. “I wouldn’t have if you weren’t ignoring me,” he says. “I wasn’t ignoring you.” He cups his hand around Yibo’s chin, their lips hovering close together again. “I was watching.”

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

At Dafan Mountain, Wen Ning was not the first corpse that Wei Wuxian managed to summon. After thirteen years, fierce corpse Jiang Yanli finally reunites with her family.

Mirio's always been enchanted by the luminescent displays of firefly squid coming to the surface of the water to spawn this time of year—who wouldn’t be? But last week was when he’d realized they’re edible, and he’d begged Tamaki to try. Tamaki had refused. Hero training is bad enough, with such a monstrous, inhuman quirk, he’d said. Let’s not go out of our way to make it worse. Mirio had dropped the subject and assumed that was the end of that. But it’s definitely a tiny, pickled squid that Tamaki pulls from the box, his throat bobbing as he swallows it whole.

Four times Lan Zhan walks in on his roommate masturbating.

Jiang Yanli and Jin Guangyao knew each other, during the year they both lived at Carp Tower.

Wen Ning is a very good liar and an even better actor, Yanli will hand him that.

Wei Wuxian is the local malevolent demigod who keeps getting sent virgin sacrifices when he'd much rather be left alone. But then one day, the villagers offer him a virgin he just can't resist...

Lurking behind covered windows after curfew, all three of them are well on their way to passably drunk when Nie Huaisang lays his current volume down on the table, scattering peanut shells, and sighs. “I wonder what it would be like,” he muses, and Jiang Cheng obligingly makes an inquisitive sound and looks over. The book is open to a woodcut image of a man with a woman bent over his lap, her mouth around him, both of them looking as if they’re enjoying themselves immensely.

“Well I have to entertain myself somehow while His Excellency is off tending to official cultivator business all day,” Wei Wuxian says with a pout. “Besides, crafting talismans to show your husband just how good he makes you feel isn’t against the sect rules. I checked." The twinkle in his eye is shameless, and Lan Wangji loves him for it. - In which Wei Wuxian makes a sensory-sharing talisman and Lan Wangji makes some self-discoveries.

OF COURSE (tumblr isn’t letting me tag you so i hope you see this) one of the reasons jin zixuan ends up snapping at jiang yanli when they are kids is she is just. really confused about her own feelings. especially when those feelings are “i want to date her? no i want to be her? no i want to date h-”

Lan Wangji discovers a kink. Wei Wuxian narrowly avoids discovering Lan Wangji's kink.

Mulan wants to save her father, and China, and possibly win honor for her family. She doesn't mind dying if that's what it takes. Surviving the avalanche brings some surprises.

Sometimes Shang likes to pretend that Mulan was really a man. Mulan has no objections to helping.

Wei Wuxian interrupts his musing. “Do you want to try that?” Jiang Cheng glances at him, being careful to keep the lower half of his body flat on the bed. Is Wei Wuxian stupid? “Who wouldn’t want to try that? But who would,” he falters, “do it for me?" Wei Wuxian is fiddling with the blanket but his gaze when he meets Jiang Cheng’s eyes is daring, not shy at all. “I’d do it. To you,” he adds, in case his meaning wasn’t clear. “C’mon, Jiang Cheng. You’d like it, huh? Let me. Let me suck your cock.” He’s pouting, an expression that Jiang Cheng knows to his bones means trouble. “It’ll be good, I promise.” How many times has Wei Wuxian coaxed him into something foolish with that same tone of voice and that same smile? And how many times has it ended with trouble for Jiang Cheng?

Wang Yibo's message reads: who do you think like initiates the first time

Xiao Zhan doesn’t bother listening or saying anything in response to Yibo's ranting, just holds the phone a little closer to his face and lets a low moan hover at the edge of his breathing. He’s looking at the red tip of Yibo’s cock where it peeks out from his foreskin and thinking about licking it. Yibo’s indignation comes through clearly over the phone. “Are you— Are you jacking it, Xiao Zhan?” “Uh huh,” Xiao Zhan sighs, and tries his best to let the wet sounds of his hand on his cock get louder. Maybe he should grab lube for extra squelchiness. “Oh, no way. Nope, I can’t handle this,” Yibo declares and the line goes dead. Xiao Zhan laughs softly to himself, and somehow that transforms into the convulsions of orgasm and he comes all over his hand. He takes a picture and sends it to Yibo. see you tomorrow

Geralt mistakes Jaskier for a, ahem, lady of the night, and Jaskier goes with it. As you do. "I don't require a whore." Funny thing is, Jaskier wasn't about to offer. He means to convey words to that effect to settle the matter and dispel any potential future misunderstandings, but finds himself saying instead, "Why not?"

They're playing a game, the same one they've played time and time again, and Tim fully intends to win.

“All you need to do is be a good boy. Can you do that for me?” With Lan Wangji’s eyes covered, Wei Wuxian cannot help but take note of the way it highlights his other features, such as the gentle slope of his nose, the sharp angle of his jawline, and his plush full lips, just waiting to be kissed. “Yes,” Lan Wangji replies, a beat quicker than usual. He tilts his head up in a silent request. “Wei Ying?” Wei Wuxian crawls up Lan Wangji’s body until he hovers above him, close but not enough to touch. Despite still being fully clothed, Wei Wuxian can feel Lan Wangji’s bare skin radiating heat. “What do good boys say when there’s something they want?” “...Please.”

This has to count as some sort of sexual harassment, right? It’s got to be his idea of a joke, to subject Jiang Cheng to this “massage parlor”…! Massage parlor Jiang Cheng’s left buttcheek, this place is clearly sketchy as hell! If his masseuse doesn’t ask him if he wants a “happy ending” tonight, Jiang Cheng will gladly eat his shoe. -- Jiang Cheng has a Happy Ending

Owen goes out hoping for a nice, relaxing night. Maybe he'll even get laid; who knows. He is not expecting to run into Hot Chad from his macro class. He's expecting what follows even less.

What if when Nie Huaisang went back in time to save his brother, he brought not only himself but the rest of the Sect? AKA the fic where the Nie Sect is very overprotective of their Sect Leader and Nie Mingjue is very confused.

Xiao Xingchen’s hip jerked toward the wand, but against the wide fix of the spreader bar between his knees, he had little leverage. Song Lan just moved the wand with him.

The tentacle climbs up Lan Wangji's forearm and tugs him closer. This time it's his turn to shiver. The feeling is — like nothing he's experienced. Cool and slippery, strong but not the strength of muscles. Soft. He wants to feel it all over. (Wei Wuxian accidentally gets cursed, which results in an impromptu sex vacation. It goes great for everyone involved.)

It wasn't unusual for Lan Wangji to find Wei Ying asleep in unexpected places.

What if: WWX doesn’t get there in time to intercept LWJ’s glass of wine?

Sometimes Lan Qiren wondered why Nie Huaisang was so determined to hide his light under a stone. He would have long ago grown bored of playing weiqi against the foolish headshaker of legend or the vacant-eyed crybaby that perennially sobbed into his nephew’s sleeve, and yet they had been playing these games for years and years, all throughout the decade since Nie Huaisang had become Sect Leader. He didn’t ask, though, and he didn’t point it out to anyone. He’d find out the reason, one day.

Wei Wuxian’s life might have been different if his mother had gone onwards to visit the Jiang sect, following a glimpse of that handsome young man she’d met so briefly early on, but in the end she’d decided to go a different way – (Wei Wuxian is one of Jin Guangshan's illegitimate sons, and Cangse Sanren is having exactly none of it)